Louise and Phoebe Sarah Reid   © Copyright 2024 by Sarah Reid

Photo by Shawn Rain on Unsplash

“Come on Louise!, you can do it” I encouraged her to try her shoe laces for the 5^th time that morning.

We had already had a meltdown over her socks having “bumps on the bottom “, where she had tried to put them on, I had tried and her dad had tried multiple times only for her to have floods of tears streaming down her cheeks like dew drops on a leaf.

Dad had eventually succeeded in getting her socks on “bump free”. And now we were having a battle with her shoes feeling “bump free” too.

Every morning and evening had been a battle ever since she was little. She needed constant reassuring that we were there. Food had to be separate on her plate, and had to be a certain texture too. Her socks had to be inside out to have less “bumps” on them and she struggled to do tasks like buttons and laces.

So many times I spoke to other parents who said how their children had managed to dress themselves by the age of 5 and were able to do many of the tasks Louise hadn’t been able to do by herself yet.

It really got us down. The more stressed I was, the more seizures I had as stress, lack of sleep or if I’m ill were my biggest triggers.

I had tried so many different jobs over the years, some had started off being supportive until increased stress triggered more seizures and mental health issues, until they finally dismissed we which was heartbreaking. My heart shattered like a smashed mirror as financially we were struggling to pay our bills.

Thankfully we went to a local food bank and met a wonderful charity who encouraged us to come along and meet other families with autistic children as we described Louise’s behaviour and struggles we had each day. The lady smiled supportively and explained her child was just like Louise too. She encouraged us to come to their support group and meet other parents who were going through similar experiences. They told us about a local supermarket selling seam free socks and how to get different sources of support and grants.

It was lovely to sit down and chat to many other parents in the warm cosy room with a cup of tea and a biscuit listening to others chatting about their experiences who sounded exactly like our hectic lives at home.

It made us pour out our challenges and get wonderful advice and reassurance from such wonderful people. It felt like a lead weight removed for our minds.

We went back every Thursday morning and learned so much especially when they got experts in to do “courses” to teach us new ways to help Louise and understand why she behaved in certain ways and learn to be in “her shoes” aswell.

They also said how animals can help their children so wondered if our cat could help Louise too.

Louise had always been affectionate with out cat Phoebe, sometimes too affectionate!.

Phoebe would often run and hide from Louise when she cuddled her the second she spotted her. Fleeing like an arrow through the air.

But that afternoon when Louise came home from school, sobbing after a challenging day with her lessons. Tears streamed down her cheeks like a waterfall.

We encouraged Louise to stroke Phoebe who was fast asleep on the sofa.

Like magic Louise stopped crying and gently stroked Phoebe.

She ate her tea next to Phoebe and appeared to be less fussy on the texture of her food and it wasn’t the end of the world to her if the pasta sauce was touching the pasta and cheese.

Slowly step by step we encouraged Louise to have more gentle contact with Phoebe and she became less anxious step by step.

It was like magic and made each morning and evening that little less stressful.

It was like therapy for her. And a magical weight off our shoulders too.

Slowly step by step we were taught how to get Louise to be more independent like getting her special laces she could tie herself (like a special toggle that you get on rucksacks) and to give her independence.

Phoebe helped make Louise less anxious too.

The less anxious I was, the less seizures I had.

It was so helpful in so many ways. We were all so grateful to Phoebe and that wonderful charity too.