Picture
the old
West. On his evening “rounds”, A Town Marshal walks into
a crowded Bar and sees a WANTED Gunman bellied up to the Bar drinking
his Whisky.
The
Lawman walks
with deliberation towards the man. The Gunman, noticing the Badge,
now instantly decides he’s
after “me”. The
Gunman says loudly: “Everybody move away from the Bar ‘cause
there’s going to be gunplay right
now.”
The
Lawman is of the
ilk of all the Famous
Town Marshals of the Old West -- and he calmly says just as loud:
“No, stayput!
There won’t be any shooting in here. That’s Ike Hovil and
his face is on a WANTED POSTER with a price on his head. He’s
faster on the draw than I am and I am only arresting him and putting
him in jail for
his own
safety until
his Trial
here or some other place.”
But
Ike Hovil isn’t
going to go so easily. He says to the Lawman: “If you think
you wanna become as famous as Pat Garrett, Wyatt Earp, or one of them
others, then move over here by the Bar and keep both your hands where
I can see them. Otherwise, get out of my way to the door. If you get
too close to me as I go, I’ll draw-down on you.”
The
Lawman continues
loudly to the crowd: “I won’t fast-draw and if he shoots
me doing my duty it’ll mean he’ll
hang ‘cause he can’t claim Self-Defense. If
he didn’t know that before, then he knows it now.”
He
continues walking
slowly towards Ike Hovil now standing alone at the Bar. He stops just
short by inches, lays both hands on the Rail, and looks Ike right in
the eye. He says dryly: “And besides, your pants fly is open
and that’s a repulsive oversight by you.”
Taken
aback, Ike
Hovil blinks and starts to shove a hand down to find perhaps an open
button or two or three and finds instead a COLT “Long-Barrel”
.45 aimed at his belly. While Ike was speedily mulling over what to
do in this new development, our Lawman had deftly drawn and aimed his
big Revolver (but not at “Fast-Draw” speed). The rest was
easy.
Later,
while being
slapped on the back by the Town Fathers for doing his job without
bloodshed, he admitted that he had read about this “Trick”
in a popular 25 Cent Pulp Magazine entitled “Gunfighter Tales”.
This inexpensive Magazine, illustrated by drawings, was currently
circulating around the Old West thrilling people with the facts of
known gun fights and their outcomes !
The
Town Marshal
continues, now
conversationally, to
nearby listeners: “He doesn’t know it yet, but I probably
saved his life. When he thinks it over, he should thank his Lucky
Star because
plenty of
Professional Bounty-Hunters
and
even our piousordinary
citizens would
think “DEAD OR ALIVE” and shoot first and ask questions
later about a person whose face is on a WANTED poster. This is an
important point of fact if the serious crimes cited in the Poster
were heinous
but might get a “Life”
Sentance at the
Trial instead
of hanging. I believe that he’s only still alive in this town
tonight because his Poster came in the mail today and was not yet put
up on display. He
should also thank a very popular two-bit
cheap-thrill
Magazine!”
