The Lesson Of Laughter James L. Cowles (c) Copyright 2026 by James L. Cowles

Photo courtesy of the RDNE Stock project at Pexels.

One of the worse feelings we experience in life is losing someone we love. It gets even more difficult when there is a long period of illness, and even though we can visit the person and converse with them, we are apprehensive about it, often thinking, “This may be the last time I see you.” To make things even more uncomfortable for both the patient and the visitor, neither knows exactly what to say. If you find yourself in this situation, either as the patient or visitor, allow me to offer a little advice. When visiting, take a hard swallow and say, “I’m here because I care about you; I love you, and I want you to be comfortable. The patient can say almost the same in return. Never let the elephant get control. Allow your friend or relative, the afflicted, to feel comfortable talking with you. Most of the time, they need someone to listen, so allow them to lead the conversation. They need an ear, and you may well be the chosen one. 

My wife, Teresa, recently found herself in this position when her brother had cancer. He has since passed, but when his time was short, Teresa ran into his wife and her sister in the grocery store, and she said, “Ron is out in the car.” Teresa hugged each of them, then headed out to see Ron. She said, “He told me he was in a lot of pain,” and that each of them got to say, “I love you.” They talked about the time they were kids, and how when there was oyster stew for dinner, Ron and the other two kids would slip their oysters into Teresa’s bowl. Teresa was the youngest, so she got the brunt of that behind-the-back maneuver. The deal was, you could get up from the table when you had eaten all of your oysters. I know Teresa was fulfilled with that short visit, because they laughed, but more importantly, “love” was shared. Both knew the other person really cared, and fortunately for Teresa, their little dog loved oysters, and he got a lot of them on “Stew night.” 

We lost Ron a few days later, and unfortunately Teresa was not present when he died. But that short visit with him in his car gave her great satisfaction. We all know how difficult it is to laugh at times like this, but we must laugh if we can find a way to do so, regardless of the circumstance.

I believe God’s Gifts of Music and Laughter are two of His greatest gifts to mankind.

As Ron was facing his final days, another heartwrenching matter occurred. Our little dog, Lucy, fell ill, and it turned out she had cancer. We had to have her euthanized just a few days before Ron’s death. It all happened so quickly, something we never dreamed of; she was only eight years old, and as precious to us as any member of our family. Those of you who have had the privilege of having an animal as part of your family will understand our sorrow. So, we had a double hit, neither of which was easy, and in fact, we are still grieving.

I want you to think deeply about this, and as you read on, you will discover the importance of laughter.

While we adults laugh about 30 times per day, our children laugh an average of 400 times per day. Along the way, we have lost 370 laughs per day. That is a loss of about 90% of our fun! Hey, some of that fun belongs to us! What in this world is wrong with us? Oh, I think I know; it’s the worries we all face as adults. All of those things like taxes, car payment, house payment, utilities, food, gasoline, entertainment, and a host of other little daggers that seem to hit us all at once, unexpectedly. Things like school supplies and wardrobe, etc. And those little kids that laugh all the time? Well, they do grow up, and we send them off to college, so let’s add that to our list of non-laughing matters. If there is a secret as to why we want the little boogers to become totally independent, let us expose it right here: the little rascals. We simply want and need to laugh more! Now surely you have heard some of this before (and don't call me Shirley! Come on, laugh! I bet you howled the first time you heard that line).

When I was a young salesman, learning to make calls on businesses who needed employee benefit plans (medical insurance, disability insurance, life insurance, retirement plans), the first call I ever made where I was a “lead” salesman, I learned a valuable lesson. I was working with a seasoned salesman by the name of Tom Bell, and he made my first call that “one shining moment” every salesman needs from time to time. You may have heard that every “no” in sales leads to a yes, maybe even a flock of them. That is what keeps a salesman going. In a world of no’s, a yes exists. Salespeople sometimes forget the importance of a smile. A smile takes the edge off. Salesmen should think of something amusing when they make calls. It often causes the prospective customer to smile. It can ease the tension. I will remember the call with Tom Bell all of my life. It was a highlight I could never forget.

The business Tom and I were entering had two sets of double doors. You have seen them, I’m sure. The first set opens, and you enter a space where a fan is blowing. It could be blowing warm or cool air, depending on the weather. Then a second set of doors is right in front of you, the automatic kind, and when you go through those doors, you are inside the building, usually a reception area. Just as we entered the first two doors, my sales buddy farted. The air between the set of doors took any odor away, but the noise was unmistakable. “Tom, did you just fart?” I asked. He had this big smile on his face and began laughing. This was happening as I was entering the business and about to ask a receptionist if a key person, one whose name I had rehearsed in my head several times, was in today. No one but Tom and I heard the noise he created, but everyone in the lobby heard the laughter and saw us smiling as we entered. I was smiling as I approached the receptionist, and she smiled back as she picked up the phone to tell her boss that two guys were here to see him. Well, we did have one other ace in our deck; we were calling on behalf of the trade association, of which the business was a member. The association had endorsed us, so it was easier to get through the usual business blockages. It so happened, the man we wanted to see also had heard our laughter, and was curious. That call, was the beginning of a very good sale, and it taught me to smile when I see a receptionist, or anyone else I might encounter. We, humans, like smiles. We like laughter. It is a good habit, and I think it’s godly.

Now, to be sure you understand, I am not suggesting salespeople incorporate farting into the sales process. What I am saying is we look for ways to relax in the eyes of a tense situation.  We owe it to ourselves, as well as to those we encounter, whatever the circumstance.

Please, I beg your pardon for reverting to my years in sales management. I hope you don't consider this “preachy.” I do not intend it that way. I want to end here by answering an important question about laughter. Is laughter beneficial to our health, and if so, to what degree? We have all heard, “Laughter is the best medicine,” but the Mayo Clinic says there is significant scientific evidence to back up that old saying. Here is what science says laughter can do:

• Relieve pain. Laughter causes the body to produce its own natural painkillers.

• Improve your mood and decrease depression and anxiety. Laughing with others releases endorphins, natural substances that make you feel better and happier. Laughter can lessen depression and anxiety.

Laughter brings people closer together. It binds people. It’s contagious. Couples who laugh together report having better relationships.

• New perspective. Studies show that our response to stressful events can be altered by whether we view something as a threat or a challenge. Humor can give us a new perspective and help us view the situation as a challenge and thus less threatening. It can help one reframe a problem.

• Reduce tension and cortisol. A hearty laugh stimulates circulation and muscle relaxation. This helps reduce the physical symptoms of stress. According to Professor Sophie Scott, a neuroscientist at University College, London who studies laughter…"laughter can decrease the body's production of cortisol, a hormone released by the adrenal glands into the bloodstream at times of stress. High levels of cortisol have been linked to weight gain and memory loss.”

• Improve your immune system. “Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. By contrast, positive thoughts can actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more--serious illnesses.”(Mayoclinic.org)

• Increase resilience. A sense of humor can help one bounce back from adversity. Laughing at our mistakes helps us to recognize making errors is part of life.

Find a way to laugh a little more every day! If nothing else, look at yourself in the mirror. We humans are pretty funny looking. We laugh at how other planet aliens might look, but look at us! We are pretty funny. You know what? YOU are pretty funny!