James L. Cowles--Hey, 10%

I think the first question we should discuss is, what was God thinking the day he made the first left handed person? I mean, not many of His creations are as limited as us, are they. But then, I am not sure it is wise to question God about his decisions. He decided I would be a lefty, and I will make the most of it. Many of us are genius level, but mind you, I am not claiming that status. However, I must admit I may be a trifle above average. Of course I am not one to brag, as you will see as you read this story. Let us continue. I was surprised to read, the kangaroo, a natural boxer, shares our limitations, but you righthanders, you ninety percenters, would never know how superior we are to you when it comes to boxing. I do have to wonder how many of you would be brave enough to put on a pair of boxing gloves, and challenge the left-hand of that Critter for a round or two. And, if you happened to make such a fatal mistake, I doubt you would ever make it to round two.

You right handers must understand that we weakened lefties are better at certain important things than you, and this piece will be devoted to helping you understand how we lefties are really quite superior to you in many ways. Sorry, when you are writing facts, you are not bragging, something I never do. To be blunt, truth is important to me (I have heard many of you say that from time to time, but I won't get into that today – that is for another time). So, listen up, and learn.

Let us take the subject of boxing first. That seems appropriate, since I opened with an invitation to have you fight a kangaroo. I won't bore you with a long list of left handed champions, just those top three, the best ever at their craft. Here they sre:

3. Marvelous Marvin Hagler: Hagler was a dominant middleweight for a full decade. Avoided by the champions of his time, he finally won the world title in 1980 and held it for over six years.

2. Manny Pacquiao: One of the most dominant boxers of his time, Pacquiao has won ten world titles in eight divisions (boxing divisions are set-up in weight classes. Think about that).

1. Pernell Whitaker: Arguably the finest boxer, pound-for-pound, of the 1990’s, “Sweet Pea” won world titles in four divisions and did not suffer a truly legitimate defeat until he was 35-years-old

These left-handers would beat that kangaroo easily. The roo probably would not come out for the second round.

Well what advantages do the left-handers have, you must be asking about now? Southpaw fighters gain a major edge in boxing through rare angles, unpredictable left-hand attacks, and superior foot positioning that disrupts orthodox rhythm. Leading with the right-side changes timing, distance, and defensive lines, making southpaws hard to read and even harder to counter.

I can hear you saying, “so what.” Don't deny it. Okay, well, let me stay in the sports arena for now. Let us take the football position, of “quarterback.” I won't give you as much information about the top three quarterback lefthanders, simply because you will recognize their greatness by simply reading their names. Besides, all of the facts about these lefthanders would be overwhelming to you right-handers. I am just not sure you can manage it. Here we go:

Now listen! I fully expect you to control your anger as you read about left handed superiority. It’s okay! I mean, you right-handers do have some degree of recognizable talent, no matter what your limitations. One thing you do have is over-confidence, especially when you are up against a left-handed person. On the other hand (no pun intended), while us lefties are sure we can beat you, we at least are not smug about it, and you will not find us bragging, ever. Most lefties are kind people, just like me.

I can sense that you still remain unconvinced, so I am just about ready to flood you with the names of the greatest lefthanders in history. Now hear me, please. It is not my intention to make you feel inferior; that’s on you. If your feelings are hurt, I would only say, “Buck-Up!” Yes, there is a bit of justice going on in this short story. You deserve it, what’s more, I am sure you know it. Okay?

Okay then, we shall continue. Here is my list of famous left-handers (not all of them, because I really do care about your feelings, honestly, I do).

Marie Curie – Physicist, chemist – Alan Turing – Mathematician - Yan LeCun – Computer scientist - James D. Watson – Molecular biologist, geneticist, and zoologist - Charles Darwin – Naturalist - Andrea Morello – Electrical engineer, quantum physicist - Cady Coleman – Astronaut, chemist, engineer - Buzz Aldrin – Astronaut, engineer - Michael Collins – Astronaut - Nicola Tesla (ambidextrous, but largely left-handed) – Inventor, engineer

Aristotle – Philosopher, writer, and polymath - Helen Keller – Writer, essayist, political activist - James Baldwin – Novelist, playwright, political activist - Douglas Adams – Writer, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - R. L. Stine – Writer, Goosebumps - Lewis Carroll – Writer, Alice in Wonderland - Helen Hooven Santmyer – Writer, "...And Ladies of the Club" - Tina Fey – Screenwriter, Mean Girls - Emma Thompson – Screenwriter, Sense and Sensibility - Vince Gilligan – Screenwriter, Breaking Bad

Matt Groening – Cartoonist - Jeff Koons – Sculptor - Paru Itagaki – Manga artist - Jean Paul Gaultier – Fashion designer - Thomas Kinkade – Painter - Alice Neel – Painter - Anita Malfatti – Painter - M. C. Escher (ambidextrous, but largely left-handed) – Graphic artist - Michelangelo (ambidextrous, but largely left-handed) – Sculptor, painter - Leonardo da Vinci (ambidextrous) – Painter, scientist, inventor

Jimi Hendrix – Guitarist, singer, songwriter - Barbara Lynn – Guitarist, singer, songwriter - James Brown – Musician, singer, songwriter - David Bowie – Musician, singer, songwriter - Phil Collins – Musician, singer, songwriter - Lizzo – Flutist, singer, songwriter - Paul McCartney – Musician, The Beatles - Kurt Cobain – Guitarist, singer, songwriter, Nirvana - Chris Martin – Musician, singer, songwriter, Coldplay - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (ambidextrous) – Composer -

Lady Gaga – Singer, songwriter - Justin Bieber – Singer, songwriter - Rosé – Singer, songwriter - Pink – Singer, songwriter - Faith Hill – Singer, songwriter - Iggy Pop – Singer, songwriter - Annie Lennox – Singer, songwriter - Eminem – Rapper, songwriter - Cardi B – Rapper

James Cameron – Avatar, Titanic - Christopher Nolan – Inception, Oppenheimer - Spike Lee – Do the Right Thing, BlacKkKlansman - John McTiernan – Die Hard, Predator - Ridley Scott – Gladiator, The Martian - James Wan – Saw, Furious 7 - David Ayer – Suicide Squad, Fury - John M. Chu – Crazy Rich Asians, Wicked - Lin-Manuel Miranda – Tick, Tick... Boom! - Charlie Chaplin (ambidextrous, but largely left-handed) – City Lights, Modern Times

Angelina Jolie – Tomb Raider, Maleficent - Keanu Reeves – The Matrix, John Wick - Morgan Freeman – The Shawshank Redemption, Se7en - Jennifer Lawrence – The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook - Hugh Jackman – Logan, Les Misérables - Judy Garland – The Wizard of Oz, A Star Is Born - Chiwetel Ejiofor – 12 Years a Slave, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind - Julia Roberts – Pretty Woman, Erin Brockovich - Anthony Perkins – Psycho, Friendly Persuasion - Bruce Willis – Die Hard, The Sixth Sense

Babe Ruth – Baseball player - Steve Young – Football quarterback - Monica Seles – Tennis player - Phil Mickelson – Golfer - Oscar de la Hoya – Boxer - John Cena – Wrestler - Laura Flessel – Fencer - Bill Russell – Basketball player - LeBron James (ambidextrous, but largely left-handed) – Basketball player - Rafael Nadal (ambidextrous) – Tennis player

George H. W. Bush – U.S. President - Bill Clinton – U.S. President - Ronald Reagan – U.S. President – Barak Obama – U.S. President - Ruth Bader Ginsburg – U.S. Supreme Court Justice - Winston Churchill – British Prime Minister - Laura Chinchilla – President of Costa Rica - Napoleon Bonaparte – French military leader and emperor - Julius Caesar – Roman general and statesman - Desmond Tutu – South African Anglican cleric and Anti-Apartheid Activist

Bill Gates – Co-founder of Microsoft - Mark Zuckerberg – Founder of Facebook - Henry Ford – Founder of Ford Motor Company - Shigeru Miyamoto – Video game designer and general manager at Nintendo - Stan Lee – Comic book legend and former chairman of Marvel Comics - Oprah Winfrey – Entrepreneur, television personality - Mary-Kate Olsen –Entrepreneur, fashion designer

Gordon Ramsey – Entrepreneur, chef - Ratan Tata – Industrialist - Steve Jobs (ambidextrous, but largely left-handed) – Co-founder of Apple

Well, now I feel I have gotten your attention. Ten percent doesn't sound like much, and the truth is, I could list many more, like George Washinton, Abe Lincoln, Ben Franklin, etc. Before you go running off to check these last three, please allow me to say, I am not sure about them, but then, neither are you. Anyway, I hope you don't believe everything you read on the internet. Wouldn't you rather believe one of your own, this humble writer who posts his stories on Storyhouse.

So, thank you, especially the lefthanders, who actually celebrate August 13^th. I, er, or rather, WE, are indeed special. Right-handers? For you - Every doggie has it’s day. A bit of advice for you - Don't fret, unless you are playing a musical instrument.

Contact James
(Unless you type the author's name
in the subject line of the message
we won't know where to send it.)
*****
If the link to the letter doesn't work you can copy
and paste in this address: preserve@storyhouse.org