Sergio
Iya Fulem
©
Copyright 2024 by Iya Fulem
|
Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash |
There
are things and
people that are important, that make me go to sleep with a smile on
my face. These fill my heart up after all the shame and pain have
been removed from it.
Sergio,
my very good
friend is one.
I
can’t say
Sergio is like a brother, because I haven’t had the best
experiences with my brothers, they weren’t always present or
caring. He is the real definition of a friend. He always seems to get
me, and surely that must be very hard, but at least he wants to. He
is patient as he listens so he can get me. He is emphatic, he lets
the pain bounce off him, sometimes ricocheting in him. He is kind. His
life has not been easy, in fact he has had a very hard life, but
isn’t it amazing how he came out soft? Why then, do they say
people are bad because of what happened to them? Isn't the same
boiling water that hardens the egg responsible for softening the
potato?
I
am who I am today
because Sergio adopted me, in love. Yea he sometimes says he has a
crush on me but we both know the love is deeper than that. This boy
cares for me. The best part of it all is that we met when we were
both really down financially and in ever other way possible. We were
both kind of outsiders in our families. We both needed each other. He
saw me, I saw him. And look how that turned out.
I’m
glad I
didn’t give up on him when he was acting all precious when he
fell in love with Meto’o. When she shattered his heart, I was
there, as usual to analyze everything and gather him together. I
wonder what is it that makes this friendship so special? You see,
Sergio is a kind and generous person. He is present and very mature.
He is patient and he doesn’t give up. He is solid.
Now
all these online
gurus who will tell you to get friends who earn more than you, or are
more accomplished than you are, surely don’t know how it works.
A friend just needs to have a pure heart towards you and needs to be
there. To stay there, through it all. Fall together, fall out, but
never fall apart. Abide, stay, be there. Stay. That’s the
recipe of real friendship. And also have a pure heart towards the
other person, let their happiness give you joy. That is all.
You
don’t need
to be the most handsome or the richest, you just need these.
I
remember when we
used to hang out near my house whenever Sergio left work. We will sit
at a little bar that smells of pee, maybe because the toilet was
broken. That’s when Malta Tonic just came out, it was the
cheapest drink at that time. We always drank Malta Tonic.
The
things we used
to talk about. I dreamt wildly in Sergio’s presence. I told him
what I wanted to become, I told him what I was struggling with and
what I was overcoming. That time I was especially struggling with
social anxiety, and he encouraged my every little win. Nothing was
too small to celebrate. I remember seeking him out whenever I
succeeded to speak up in a gathering or whenever I acted bold in any
capacity. He was always interested. Now I realize he really didn’t
say much about himself, he was just there hyping me up. Making it
sound like all my lofty dreams were a sure thing. He believed in me
more than I did in myself.
Whenever
I will talk
about something concerning me that I felt was so shameful that no one
can stand, Sergio will make me feel ok. He will tell me, look me too
I’ve done this and this. And I will feel better. That’s
how I killed the shame. Because Sergio knew and he didn’t judge
me, he still loved me.
When
I started
working at the bank after my graduation, I became all bougie but I
still hung onto Sergio. But I realized I intimidated him. I’ll
go to him for advise and chats and he will sound funny. He will sound
nervous. But did he give up? Did I give up? Of course no. We abided.
Even
when financial
issues threatened to break the foundations of our friendship, when I
lent him some money and when it came to the time to pay me, he
started telling me stories. I was pissed, and I ranted and rained
insults on my dear friend. He took it in stride and paid up all the
money over time. I’m thankful that my angry words didn’t
hurt our friendship. And I told him so. We abided.
The
trials of life
have tried to tear us apart, it’s been 7 years. Recently I was
hard pressed for cash and I expected him to know so. I hadn’t
been working for months, and he didn’t even call once to ask me
how I was faring. Cos yea, he is so busy. Then I started to get
bitter and resentful that he didn’t care for me, and that he
only likes to take. But no, no that wasn’t the case. Later,
when I had a conversation with him, I realized he had his own issues
far worse than mine. While I was struggling to eat, and pay my bills,
he was robbed twice of huge amounts and he didn’t even know how
to keep his business going any longer.
When
I met Sergio,
he was skinny, so was I. But I’m a woman, so skinny is always
ok. He on the other hand, looked hungry lol. Now, he started working
out and has gained weight. So much so that the girls won’t let
him be. Women are seeking him out because he looks really good, and
I’m just here hyping him up.
What
makes me so
happy that I have a friend like this is the fact that we have our
whole lives ahead of us. To enjoy each other. Thank you, dear God,
for giving me the best human as a friend. I am grateful.
Iya is a
Cameroonian born 36 year old lady. She has always lived passionately
with an avid interest in dance, music, traveling. Up until recently,
she had built a career in Finance, with a Bachelor and a Master’s
degree in the field. She worked as a banker but quit the corporate
world at the start of 2024 to pursue everything that lights her up.
Writing poetry and nonfiction are presently amongst her most
enjoyable activities. She
writes on
substack too, as Iya Fulem. Kindly visit to see more of her work.
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