Once
upon a time, in an Ancient religion long ago extinct, there was an
evil almighty god named Mahasasur.
In
that religion, almighty gods could be as evil as they liked because
their almightiness shielded them from any punishment for their evil.
The only fact that saved all other life from almighty gods was that
all other life were considered so far beneath almighty gods that
almighty gods preferred to stay away from all other life in order to
avoid being contaminated.
Unfortunately
for all other life, Mahasasur, unlike every other almighty god, did
not mind being contaminated. And, so, he inflicted all other life
with countless miseries, over and over and over again.
Eventually,
humans petitioned the king of almighty gods to help them against
Mahasasur. The name of the king of gods was Brah.
Brah
asked for volunteers from all the other almighty gods. Nobody
volunteered because no other almighty god considered humans worth
saving. In other words, all the other almighty gods were, tacitly, on
Mahasasur's side.
It
was forever a mystery to all the other almighty gods why Brah
bothered to save humans from an almighty god. After all, no matter
how evil an almighty god was, a god was always better than a human.
After all, again, to almighty gods, humans were no different from
Cockroaches; humans were, in most parts, Cockroach look-alikes.
Sometimes
god Brah, himself, did not understand why he cared for humans.
Whatever the reason, it must have been why he was the only almighty
god who deserved to be king.
When
no god volunteered, Brah found himself in a difficult situation. He
was not about to take on the task himself. That would be too
demeaning for a king. His care for humans did not extend that far.
He
decided to resort to eating steamed broccoli florets.
Brah
had discovered the secret in steamed broccoli florets, a secret he
never shared with other gods. When he ate steamed broccoli florets,
lots of it at one sitting, wise solutions occurred to him to the
eternal mysteries of the infinite universe.
He
ate steamed broccoli florets, lots in one sitting. The solution
occurred to him about how to proceed against Mahasasur, the most evil
almighty god, forever.
First,
it was revealed to Brah that there were no female gods. In all the
countless millions of years of almighty gods in the universe, all had
always been males. The steamed broccoli florets revealed to Brah that
it would be most fitting and most cunning to create a female god to
kill Mahasasur.
It
would be most fitting because to be destroyed by a female god would
be the most degrading fate a male almighty god could suffer; much
worse than, even, being destroyed by a Cockroach look-alike.
It
would be most cunning because when she challenged Mahasasur to fight,
he would be thoroughly mystified for a few seconds because he would
not know what kind of god she was. Her almightiness needed only
seconds of his hesitation to infiltrate his almightiness to kill him.
And
that is what happened. When Mahasasur was no more, the humans
petitioned Brah to allow them to worship the one-and-only goddess.
Brah
granted the Cockroach look-alikes their request, and he named the
goddess Mahasasur Mardini, which meant, "Destroyer of
Mahasasur."
Since
most of the Cockroach look-alikes could not cope with the
pronunciation of such a long name, Brah suggested they use the
shortened form: Emem.
Emem
it was from the mouths of Cockroach look-alikes for countless eons.
Everybody
was happy. The universe was at peace.
In
time, Emem became aware that there was no advantage in being the only
female in an all-male universe. She felt that being worshipped by
more Cockroach look-alikes than any other god, including Brah, was
not adequate compensation for her having rid the eternal universe of
Mahasasur.
The
cunning, along with the secret of steamed broccoli florets, she had
unwittingly and subliminally inherited from Brah, her king and
creator, kicked in.
And,
so, it came to her to find a way to dupe everybody into seeing her as
male, whenever she wished.
It
took a long time. For ages and ages Emem roamed the universe
searching for a way.
There
came time when she was at a Cockroach look-alike festival in honour
of almighty male god Shiva. Shiva's more popular festival name was
Hara Hari.
The
annual festival celebrated a mysterious secret within Shiva himself,
a secret unknown to him and everybody else.
The
highlight of the festival was the performance of a play.
The
story of the play was about a real event that had happened a long
time ago in the kingdom. A prince had been seduced by a wicked
witch, and they set about building their own kingdom somewhere. But
one day one of the witch's spells malfunctioned, turning the prince
into the witch, and the witch into the prince. Weirdly, while they
had loved each other before the malfunction, after the malfunction
they hated each other. In their eagerness to return to being
themselves again, both of them, holding hands, jumped into the
witch's boiling necromantic cauldron together. The necromantic
cauldron exploded, and disappeared, transporting the witch and the
prince into another galaxy forever.
Hara
Hari himself, nearly naked, sat far upstage on a pure-gold stool,
while the Cockroach look-alike performers, danced and sang and
pretended to be all kinds of realities in order to please their
beloved Hara Hari.
The
hope was that sooner or later, the secret would reveal itself to
either Hara Hari himself, or to one or some of the Cockroach
look-alike onstage performers, all of whom, by everlasting tradition,
had to be male.
Emem,
driven by a mysterious all-powerful intelligence within her, decided
to be an onstage performer, as demeaning as her divinity scolded her
it was to associate that close to Cockroach look-alikes, and, worse,
too, while pretending to be one of them.
Emem
knew nothing about onstage pretence. She was emboldened in knowing
her clumsiness at it would be unnoticed among the many other expert
onstage performers.
Nonetheless,
she drew Hara Hari's especial, though fleeting, attention, because of
the onstage name she had concocted for her Cockroach look-alike self,
Prishan Hari. She had cunningly discovered that Prishan, Sky God and
God of marriage, was Shiva Hara Hari's favourite son-in-law.
Too,
she was bewildered, though ecstatically and feverishly so, by Shiva's
onstage near-nakedness. In wildest imagination she imagined his
onstage near-nakedness called out to her.
And,
so, she danced, albeit awkwardly. She strutted, out of step. She
recited words so sillily, she was continually on the brink of
throwing up. She gestured rhetorically, self-demeaningly.
And
then, silent lightning ignited within her, stirring her inherited
Brah deoxyribonucleic acid to instantly reveal to her Hara Hari's
secret: if anyone, or if she touched the nakedness of Shiva Hara Hari
in a first-female-first way, as only a first-ever female knew how,
she would gain, forever, the power to appear as whatever she wished,
whenever and for as long, to whomever. And to whomsoever, too.
Silently,
cautiously, seductively as only a female newcomer in the universe
could scheme up how, Emem approached the utterly cluelessly happy
almighty Hara Hari, as he sat, mostly naked, unselfconsciously, on
his pure gold stool, upstage center.
She
reached out to touch his nakedness under his skimpy see-through
garment which was being ever-so-gently blown about by the gusts
generated by the onstage movements of the many Cockroach look-alikes.
By
sheer coincidence, in that very same moment of exquisite evolution,
another almighty secret struck.
In
creating his first female god, Brah had been, naturally and
blamelessly, singularly imperfect.
Unknown
to both him and her, there was an expiry date to his creation of
Emem; alias Mahasasur Mardini; alias Prishan Hari.
Contact
Ezra (Unless
you
type
the
author's name in
the subject
line
of the message we
won't know where to send it.)
