“Jehovah God came to Philistine King Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken, is a man’s wife.” The Bible.

Characters:-

-Guard.

-Abimelech. The King.

-Nergal. The King’s Prime Minister.

-Abram.

(An ante room in a palace. Midnight. ABIMELECH enters hurriedly. He is in pyjamas. He is agitated.)

ABIMELECH: Guard! (GUARD enters.)

GUARD: Your majesty!

ABIMELECH: Tell Nergal to come here right away!

GUARD: Yes, your majesty. (Exits.)

ABIMELECH: (In mightily suppressed towering royal anger.) How dare! How dare he do this to me! I treated him with the deepest kindness. A foreigner, and worshipper of a foreign god! I let him travel through my kingdom, and this is how he treats me! (Enter NERGAL, timidly, hesitantly, fearfully; dressed in pyjamas.)

NERGAL: Your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Nergal, that foreigner merchant lied to me!

NERGAL: I will have his head chopped off right away, your majesty. (For a few seconds the King stares blankly and silently and sternly at NERGAL, before blurting out.)

ABIMELECH: No! No, no, no, no, Nergal!

NERGAL: (Bewildered.) Your majesty,---.

ABIMELECH: (Pacing about in frustration, and repeatedly thumping a fist into the palm of his other hand.) I love nothing better than chopping off heads of disobedient people. However, this time we dare not, Nergal. There are other compelling circumstances.

NERGAL: As you please, your majesty. What is your command, your majesty, concerning this treacherous foreigner?

ABIMELECH: Bring that-----that foreigner to me!

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Immediately!

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: In his pyjamas!

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty. Of course! In pyjamas! And in shackles! (For a few seconds ABIMELECH stares blankly and silently and sternly at NERGAL, before blurting out.)

ABIMELECH: No! No, Nergal, not in shackles! Just pyjamas. No shackles. Just bring him here, immediately!

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty. Right away. (NERGAL stops in his half-turn, and turns back to the King. He speaks timidly and in fearful embarrassment.) Uh, which foreign merchant, your majesty?

ABIMELECH: The one who so readily gave his sister to me when I asked who she was. You were there, Nergal!

NERGAL: (Barely audible, pleasantly to himself.) Oh, that one. (To the King.) Yes, I remember him, your majesty. It was I who drew your attention to her when we thought she was his most exquisitely beautiful wife. All of us were and are so happy that she turned out to be his sister, your majesty.

(For a few grim seconds ABIMELECH stares blankly and silently and sternly at NERGAL, before struggling mightily to speak politely.)

ABIMELECH: (Through his teeth, and keeping his voice soft.) She is not his sister, Nergal! She is his wife! (NERGAL is speechless for a few seconds.)

NERGAL: (Softly, firmly.) Your majesty, that liar must be stripped naked and hanged in the City Square, and afterwards beheaded for all to witness. Your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Yes. Well. Go fetch him here.

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty. What about his sister, your majesty?

ABIMELECH: What about his sister?

NERGAL: Your majesty, you said he was to bring her to you at the castle tomorrow, your majesty. She is with him in their caravan this night. Should I bring her with him, right now, your majesty? Save them and us the trouble tomorrow, your majesty. She is complicit in his lies, your majesty. She, too, should be stripped naked and hanged and afterwards beheaded in the City Square for all to witness. Your majesty.

ABIMELECH: (Struggling mightily to speak politely.) No, no, no, no, Nergal! Let her be. Just him. Bring only him, Nergal! In his pyjamas.

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty. Only him. In his pyjamas. Your majesty.

ABIMELECH: And not a word to him, or to his sister----wife---- why you are bringing him to me.

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty. Not a word. Your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Treat him kindly, with all respect, as difficult as that will be.

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty. “With all respect,” even though he has brazenly lied to your majesty.

ABIMELECH: (Softly and resignedly, as he turns away.) Go, Nergal. Bring him to me.

NERGAL: Yes, your majesty. In his pyjamas. Your majesty. (He steps to exit, but pauses and addresses the King.) Your majesty, please, may I make an observation? (The King gestures he may.) Your majesty, the interest you shewed in the woman saved her from being kidnapped by criminals.

ABIMELECH: Explain, Nergal. Explain.

NERGAL: Your majesty, that merchant is a foreigner in our country for the first time. He has made a mistake that none other has made in years, by bringing with him in his caravan, women. In all countries, newly arrived women are prime targets for kidnapping by criminal gangs for ransom. It’s certain that the criminals held back when they found out that you were interested in that woman, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Good. Remind me to tell him when he gets here.

NERGAL: When he gets here in his pyjamas, I certainly will, your majesty. (Exits in a victoriously vindictive flair.

ABIMELECH: (Looking out and up into the auditorium. Speaking slowly and politely.) There, god of that foreigner. I am obeying you. You have been most righteously fair to me in warning me. Thank you. As you know, I allow worship of all gods in my country. You are the only god who has spoken to me, directly. I will build two shrines of gold to you, one in the City for the people, and one for me here in the palace. (NERGAL enters, ushering ABRAM into the presence of ABIMELECH, who is especially careful to be respectful to ABRAM, who is dressed in pyjamas.)

NERGAL: Your majesty, the stranger. In pyjamas.

ABIMELECH: Thank you, NERGAL. Please leave us now, and wait in the hallway. (NERGAL exits. ABIMELECH addresses ABRAM.) Sir, your name is Abram?

ABRAM: (Afraid all the time.) Yes, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Chaldean? From the north?

ABRAM: Yes, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Abram, I sent your wife to you under special palace guard, and with gifts for the both of you. Did she arrive happily?

ABRAM: Yes, your majesty. Thank you, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: I apologize for requesting her presence alone away from you. There was a confusion. Those who were responsible for the mistake against you and your wife have been punished.

ABRAM: Please, your majesty, may I intercede for them? The mistake was insignificant. My wife and I are used to such inconveniences when she accompanies me on business trips. It happens even when we travel in our own country, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: And how is business?

ABRAM: Quite successful, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Have you conducted business before in my country?

ABRAM: No, your majesty. This is the first time. And I am finding it most profitable. Your merchants are skilled negotiators. I am learning a great deal being in their company, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: And you will return?

ABRAM: Most definitely, your majesty.

ABIMELECH: Good. I wish the stay of you and your wife in my country every success. Come, Chaldean, I will personally escort you back to your quarters.

ABRAM: Thank you, your majesty. (Both exit. The stage lights gradually fade to blackout on an empty stage. The end.)