Eurydice
and Orpheus
Ezra Azra
©
Copyright 2024 by Ezra Azra
|
Painting by Edward Poynter (1836–1919) at Wikimedia Commons. |
Orpheus
fell in love with Eurydice, and she with him. They decided to get
married. They were in their twenties.
Eurydice
was an orphan. Nobody knew anything about her parents or other
family, or where she had come from.
Orpheus
first saw Eurydice at a concert. She was among the cheering fans of
his singing, and playing the Kithara and the Lyre.
Orpheus’s
Mother, Princess Calliope, was not happy her son wanted to marry
someone who had no traceable family heritage. After all, Calliope
could trace her own ancestry countless generations back all the way
to Zeus, almighty god democratically elected by the countless other
almighty gods to be king of gods, forever.
Calliope
tried to reason with Orpheus to have nothing to do with rootless
Eurydice. However, Orpheus was in love and he was an adult, and so he
made it clear to his Mom that he was determined to marry Eurydice,
his first and only true love.
Princess
Calliope appealed to almighty Apollo, god of instrumental music, to
help stop the love between Orpheus and Eurydice. Orpheus was the
out-of-wedlock child of Calliope and Apollo, and so Calliope
believed, and rightly so, she had the right to ask Apollo for help,
even had Apollo not been an almighty god.
Apollo
agreed to help Calliope, although for four reasons his heart was not
in the agreement.
The
first reason his heart was not in the agreement was because almighty
god Apollo was, by DNA, a deadbeat Dad, and, in general, a decadent
and scurrilous form of life. He was continually out-of-wedlock
fathering children all over the world. In this cowardly crime he took
after his Dad, Zeus, the king of gods. There was never an instance
when Apollo and Zeus gave any of their illegitimate offspring a
present on a birthday!
The
second reason Apollo’s heart was not in his agreement with
Calliope to help her against their out-of-wedlock son, Orpheus, was
that Orpheus had inherited from his Dad, Apollo, talent in playing
musical instruments.
By
the end of his teenage years, Orpheus was as skilled in playing the
kithara and the lyre as his Dad, Apollo. Apollo was not happy that
his illegitimate child was well on the way to becoming a far more
skilled musical instrument player than he, Apollo, an almighty god.
Apollo
took particular satisfaction in noticing that the exquisite beauty of
Eurydice was causing Orpheus to neglect developing his playing, which
neglect would guarantee that Orpheus would never excel Apollo in
instrumental playing.
Apollo
took particular pleasure in casting a spell on Eurydice to heighten
the attraction of her beauty on Orpheus. Apollo’s spell to
heighten Eurydice’s already divine-intensity beauty was totally
unnecessary.
Helen
of Troy has been proclaimed the most beautiful woman ever. Alongside
Eurydice, Helen of Troy was as repulsive as an alligator in
defecation mode.
Indeed,
even Hera, wife of Zeus, was so jealous of Eurydice’s beauty,
that she kept a close watch on Eurydice for an excuse to blight the
girl’s perfectly beautiful face.
Apollo’s
spell to heighten Eurydice’s already divine-intensity beauty
was totally unnecessary because long before Apollo’s spell,
Eurydice’s beauty had a hold on Orpheus stronger than any
almighty god’s spell.
The
third reason Apollo’s heart was not in his agreement with
Calliope to help her against their out-of-wedlock son, Orpheus, was
Apollo’s memory of a mortal musician man named Marsyas.
Marsyas
had been a self-taught musician. Marsyas had prayed to Apollo to be
taught to play musical instruments. Apollo had refused to waste his
time trying to teach a mere mortal. In time, Marsyas became a
self-taught musician so skilled that some of the almighty Gods voted
him a better musician than Apollo, the hitherto alleged god of
instrumental music.
Apollo
became so enraged in jealousy of Marsyas that he tied the mortal
musician to a tree, and whipped him to death. Apollo skinned the
corpse and made a wine flask of the skin of Marsyas.
Apollo,
being an immortal god, easily avoided feeling any remorse at the evil
he had unjustly inflicted on mortal Marsyas. Nonetheless, Apollo
accepted that what he had done to Marsyas had been an egregious crime
against the Art of Music, a crime he would not trust himself to never
commit again. Apollo’s jealousy of Orpheus could be restrained
from being a repeat of Apollo’s jealousy of Marsyas because
Apollo and Orpheus were family sharing the same DNA.
Nonetheless,
Apollo would have found a way to not get involved in the
Calliope-Orpheus confrontation had it not been for the involvement of
the Princess Cyrene of North Africa. This was the fourth reason
Apollo’s heart was not in his agreement with Calliope to help
her against their out-of-wedlock son, Orpheus,
Princess
Cyrene already had an illegitimate son with Apollo. His name was
Aristaeus. He was the same age as Orpheus, and as intensely black
complexioned as his Royal negro African Mother. She was Apollo’s
first black complexioned virgin princess he seduced into Motherhood.
Her black complexion at certain angles had erotically thrilled him so
hypnotically, he was desperate and determined to repeat Princess
Cyrene’s seduction-into-Motherhood.
Princess
Cyrene was not as narrow-minded a prejudiced Royal slut as Princess
Calliope. Cyrene was thrilled when her son said he was in love with
Eurydice, a Caucasian White-complexioned girl. If Eurydice married
Aristaeus, that would join White and Black ethnicities, a union that
would tremendously boost the prestige of Cyrene’s Royal Black
bloodline throughout the world, although there were times when she
hoped their children would not be colored-complexioned.
Princess
Cyrene believed, and rightly so, she had the right to ask Apollo for
help to make Eurydice fall in love with Aristaeus. She believed she
had that right even had Apollo not been an almighty god.
Apollo
was in a bind. On the one hand, he could easily please both his
princess royal sluts by causing Eurydice to reject Orpheus and to
fall madly in love with Aristaeus.
That
remedy, however, would mean Orpheus would be grief-stricken, and
could be driven to seek comfort in his music, a seeking that could
lead to Orpheus improving his instrumental playing far beyond the
excellence of Apollo’s himself.
That
probability seriously irked Apollo. Apollo knew firsthand of the
power of grief to heighten the excellence in a musician’s
instrumental music.
After
all, when virgin truly-Royal Princess Daphne had rejected Apollo’s
romantic overtures, Apollo’s seeking refuge and comfort from
his grief in his total immersion in his music resulted in him
inventing a whole new music instrument!
Virgin
truly-Royal Princess Daphne had chosen to be transformed into a tree
by a different and righteous god rather than to submit to Apollo’s
almighty evil lasciviousness criminal barbaric pornographic lust.
Truly-Royal
Princess Daphne remains a virgin throughout eternity, much to
almighty god Apollo’s eternal chagrin that often reaches
suicidal intensity.
After
days and nights of agonizing about a remedy to his Calliope-Cyrene
dilemma, an honorable solution came to Apollo out of a painful
incident in his past.
A
few days after his birth he was obliged to kill a magnificent beast,
a serpent. Neither that majestic serpent nor Apollo had a choice but
to fight each other to the death because of the evils deliberately
practised by other almighty gods.
Here,
centuries later, it occurred to Apollo that he had a chance to atone
for both of them forever for that evil that had been forced upon them
by evil almighty gods.
He
would create a poisonous snake in the very image of the serpent he
had been constrained to kill. His created snake would painlessly
love-bite Eurydice and Orpheus ‘one dark and stormy night.’
Nobody
would suspect snakebite; everybody would be inclined to blame
lightning. The snake itself he would create to be a two-bite-only
beastie. In the same second it finished its fatal love-bites on
Eurydice and Orpheus it would disintegrate into blessed nothingness
eternally for having willingly compassionately performed a noble and
righteous deed.
Neither
Calliope nor Cyrene would suspect Apollo’s involvement.
And
so, Apollo created the ethereal magical snake by playing the same
algorithmic melody on two instruments, the Lyre and the Kithara,
simultaneously; in opposite sequences, each with either hand.
On
that ‘dark and stormy night’ the magical snake was in a
place in ambush mode and listening to the magical romantic music
being played by Orpheus to Eurydice.
When
the lightning bolt detonated on the three of them, its heavenly might
intermeshed with the Apollo-divinity in the snake’s DNA,
transmuting the beastie’s divinity-origin-two-bite power into a
holy generated one-wish-granted- miraculously power.
Almighty
Apollo himself had not foreseen this DNA intermingling inside his
created magical snake. Had he foreseen it, he would have approved and
endorsed it wholeheartedly.
The
romantic music being played by Orpheus to Eurydice on that blessed
occasion caused Apollo’s magical snake to instantly and totally
and tyrannically fall in love with Eurydice, causing the beastie to
wish Eurydice and Orpheus into being joined forever into being a
heavenly phenomenon which would become known as The Northern Lights.
Because
the magical snake instantaneously disintegrated and disappeared
forever, nobody, not even Apollo, ever discovered what had happened
to Eurydice and Orpheus. Everyone believed that Eurydice and Orpheus
were among the countless lost victims of that catastrophically
divine, cataclysmic electrical storm that ‘dark and stormy
night.’
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