“The
Other Bible” is “A collection of ancient, esoteric texts
from Judeo-Christian traditions. These texts were excluded from the
official canon of the Old and New Testaments.” Library of
Congress. U.S.A. 1984.
In
Genesis in “The Other Bible,” “In the beginning,
almighty God, Jehovah, said to the Other Gods, Let us produce a
live-stage play, to pass the time.”
All
twenty-four Other Gods instantly agreed because being almighty is,
most of the time, boring.
The
names of the twenty-four Other Gods are: Adrammelech, Anammelech,
Ashima, Ashtaroth, Asta, Astarte Baal, Baalpeor, Beelzebub, Belial,
Chemosh, Dagon, Ishtar, Milcom, Moloch, Nebo, Neith, Nergal, Nibhaz,
Remphan, Succothbenoth, Tartak. “And Satan also was among
them.” As was “Lucifer, Son of the Morning, and, or, The
Morning Star.”
And
Jehovah said, “All of us will discuss the story content of each
proposed onstage scene. When we have settled on what the contents of
all the onstage scenes will be, we will cast the character roles
among us, and then each of us will improvise speech and actions of
our roles in whichever scenes we appear.”
And
Jehovah said, “We will not memorize our speeches. In each scene
we will memorize the events we intend to enact, and we will be free
to improvise our speeches in those events at different performances.”
And
Jehovah said, “Since all of us are almighty and immortal
forever at age thirty-or-so, we can be as violent and as ugly against
one another in our roles, as we wish.
The
pain we suffer from one another will be welcomingly entertaining;
because merely fiction.
As
well, since we already are perfectly all-knowing, all meanings our
actions and words portray need be only and entirely literal, with no
figurative-parable intent; there being nothing for us to learn from
one another; there being no obligation to enlighten one another.”
And
almighty Jehovah said, “To achieve unity of meaning in our
play’s story, we must decide on how many of our core values
will drive our portrayals.”
To
almighty Jehovah’s happy amazement all the Other twenty-four
almighty Gods were instantly unanimous in agreement that their
almightiness made only one core value worth portraying.
That
value is Fairness; Fairness to both oneself and to others. All other
values, such as Righteousness, Justice, Love, Compassion, and-so-on,
and et cetera, are utterly optional within almightiness, and would
be allowed only accidental incorporation into our onstage
pretence-for-entertainment performances.
And
then began the group discussions of the content of the play’s
plot. At this beginning, events would be discussed, and not,
necessarily, the eventual sequence of the events.
Almighty
God Lucifer was the first to state his storyline. He would portray a
character unfairly predestined centuries earlier to betraying on
false charges an innocent friend to be crucified to death:
“All
this was done that the scriptures of the prophets might be
fulfilled.”
Lucifer
named his fiction character Judas Iscariot/of Kerioth, who would be
unfairly predestined to be a betrayer-with-a—kiss “for
thirty pieces of silver.”
Lucifer
named his fictive character Jesus who would be the innocent friend
who Judas would betray.
At
that early phase, Lucifer had yet to decide if he preferred Gods to
volunteer for the roles of Judas and Jesus, or if he, Lucifer, would
create two lesser living mortal things to play the onstage roles.
When
almighty Lucifer made it known his plot called for one character
ending up hanging himself in suicidal guilt, and the other ending up
being barbarically tortured before being ruthlessly crucified, there
was no shortage of almighty Gods volunteering for the roles because
of the virtually countless opportunities for couthless melodramatic
onstage over-Acting.
Almighty
Satan proposed he add to almighty Lucifer’s plotline by
portraying a character who, while not being predestined to an unfair
destiny, would, by congenital weakness of mind, angrily and
vociferously and shamefully with vulgar cursing and swearing most
entertainingly, deny his friend three times “before the cock
crowed.”
That
cock itself would be played extempore by whichever God was available
at that moment in the onstage performances.
Most
Gods declared determination to be available to provide most lusty
extemporaneous cock-crowings whenever required.
Almighty
Lucifer readily and graciously accepted almighty Satan’s offer,
sincerely deferring that Satan’s intended character occurred
more often in reality than Lucifer’s intended characters, Jesus
and Judas.
Almighty
Gods Moloch and Milcom, planned to enact a story of two babies killed
as punishment for the evil crimes of their parents.
Moloch
and Milcom said their intention was to make it clear that because all
babies are blameless, whenever a baby dies anywhere in the eternal
universe, that is sure proof that nowhere in the eternal universe is
there an almighty God who is committed to being morally Fair, all the
time; almightiness rendering all moral values optional every time:
“The
Lord struck the king’s child, that, on the seventh day, the
king’s child died.”
And,
again, “The Lord hath spoken it: that when the queen, carrying
the king’s child, came to the threshold of the door, the king’s
child died.”
Almighty
Gods Ishtar and Succothbenoth intended to create and to show a tale
of an evil mother who planned to deceive her blind and good husband
into robbing the elder of their twin sons of his inheritance, in
favor of the younger twin son:
“Upon
me be the curse, my son; only obey my voice”, God-defiantly
uttered that most wickedly evil of all mothers in eternity.
Succothbenoth
and Ishtar intended to take turns at different stagings to play the
roles of the evil mother, and her spineless gutless liar younger
twin.
Some
options Succothbenoth and Ishtar were considering for names of their
invented fictive characters were Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob.
Almighty
God, Baal, welcomed Ishtar and Succothbenoth deciding between
themselves who would play the righteously innocent female in the
scene almighty God Baal was planning.
In
Baal’s story, Baal would play an evil almighty God who, just
for the hell of it, relished hurting a faithful God-fearing truly
righteously heroic mortal father of an only child, his daughter.
In
Baal’s story, the evil God would cause the righteously heroic
mortal father, who did not know his almighty God was equally evil and
good, to ask a blessing of his almighty God. In return, the
righteously heroic mortal father pledged a sacrifice.
The
god-fearing heroic mortal father expected the sacrifice requested by
his almighty God would be a deed to be done by the heroic mortal
father.
Instead,
when the time came, and the heroic mortal father presented himself to
honor his pledge, the evil God demanded payment be the death of the
heroic mortal father’s only child; an adult unmarried
daughter:
“When
the father came unto his house, behold, his daughter came out to meet
him with timbrels and with dances. She was his only child. Beside her
he had neither son nor daughter. When he saw her, he rent his
clothes. And she said unto him, My father, do to me according to that
which hath proceeded between you and the Lord. Let me alone two
months that I may go up and down upon the mountains to bewail my
virginity.”
The
role of the virgin daughter would be played by either almighty God
Succothbenoth, or almighty God Ishtar, although both almighties had
given away their virginities thousands of years earlier. Being Gods,
they remembered every detail as if it had happened “this
morning.” Of course.
An
option Baal was considering for a name for his invented fictive
heroic mortal father character was Jephthah.
Because
all the other Gods made it clear to Baal that they thought he was
being singularly unfair in his punishment of the blameless virgin
daughter character, Baal decided to not give a name to the daughter.
In his onstage scenes he referred to her merely as “Jephthah’s
daughter.”
Almighty
God Dagon’s plot for a scene was similar to Baal’s, and
so they collaborated in order to avoid boring duplication.
Dagon’s
plot had two almighty Gods ganging up on one of the God’s
perfectly loyal human follower named Job, just for the heck of it.
Baal
suggested to Dagon that Dagon create a wife for Job so that they
could make the wife blaspheme by telling her husband Job to “curse
God and die.”
Such
blasphemy would give Dagon righteously fair reason to create a scene
in which the wife could be cruelly and most crudely viciously
tortured before being savagely murdered, in slow-motion. The
blatantly brutal barbarism would be unexcelled in sheer literal
bloody-hell theatrical entertainment throughout eternity.
Dagon
enthusiastically adopted Baal’s suggestion. He planned to make
the wife’s dying screams heard throughout eternity; and to be
continued to be heard forever, long after their play had ended.
Five
almighty Gods teamed up in a scene to expose cruel unfairness to
helpless animals in ritual sacrifices.
Adrammelech
would play an Ass that would be murdered by having its living neck
broken: “The Lord spake, saying, Every firstling of an ass,
thou shalt break his neck, at the altar.”
Almighty
Gods Anammelech, Ashima, and Asta would play turtledoves and pigeons
that would be murdered by having their living heads wrung off their
necks: “The Lord spake, saying, The priest shall wring off the
heads from off the necks of two living turtledoves and two young
pigeons, at the altar.”
Almighty
GodAshtaroth would play an Ox that would be stoned to death:
“The Lord spake, saying, The ox shall be stoned to death, and
his flesh not be eaten.”
Some
of the Gods were uncomfortable with so many depictions of Gods’
cruelty to helpless animals. Hence, some Gods insisted on including
scenes in which animals were elevated to equality with Gods by having
the divine intelligence to speak, and so be able to engage in onstage
dialogue with Gods:
“I
heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts
saying, Come and see-----. I heard the second beast
say, Come and see-----. I heard the third beast say,
Come and see-----. I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts
say, A measure of wheat for a penny-----. I heard the
voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see-----. The
four beasts said, Amen-----. The serpent said,
Yea, hath God said?-----. The serpent said, Ye shall not die
-----. The Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said-----.
The beast with seven heads and ten horns was given unto him a mouth
speaking great things.”
Just
as the God’s elevated the roles of animals by endowing animals
with the divine intelligence of speech, so, too, did the Gods, in
righteous fairness, grant mortal humans equality with Gods by
playing onstage scenes with dialogue between Gods and humans:
“The
Lord God called unto Adam, and said-----. The Lord God
said unto the woman-----. The Lord God said
unto Cain-----. Cain said unto the Lord-----. The
Lord said unto Abraham-----. The Lord God called unto
Moses and said-----. The word of the Lord came unto
Jonah, son of Amittai, saying-----. Then said
the Lord to Jonah, son of Amittai-----. The Lord said
unto Balaam.-----. God said unto Noah-----. The Lord
called Samuel again the third time.-----The word of the
Lord came to Solomon, saying-----. The word of the
Lord came unto Nathan, saying-----. The Lord answered
Job, and said-----. The Lord said to
Eliphaz, the Temanite-----.”
Almighty
God Beelzebub’s plotline, driven by the requisite of fairness
triumphant over unfairness, was of him playing the role of an Evil
Almighty Thing that granted the request of an Evil Lesser Thing.
The
Evil Lesser Thing had long ago been punished for its evil by being
cursed to be inhabited by a swarm of riotous raging shrieking devils.
Its request of the Evil Almighty Thing, would be to exorcize the
devils out of it, and sent into a herd of innocent swine grazing
nearby.
Almighty
Beelzebub’s Evil Almighty Thing character would readily grant
the request, knowing that the devils, once inside the innocent swine,
would drive those blameless kine to insanely plunge into a nearby
river to drown:
“Then
went the devils out of the Evil Lesser Thing and entered into the
herd of swine. And the herd ran violently down a steep place into a
lake, and drowned.”
Be
assured there was the most intense visual, aural, visceral
entertainment of both the mortal audience and the immortal onstage
players in the exaggerated “wailing and gnashing of teeth”
of those most mercilessly and wickedly tormenting devils inside those
righteously blamelessly suffering swine.
Almighty
God Belialenthusiastically volunteered to play the Evil
Lesser Thing character.
Eight
almighty Gods who volunteered to opt out of coming up with scenes of
their own and, instead, to play the devils in Beelzebub’s
scene, were Astarte, Baalpeor, Chemosh, Nebo, Nergal, Neith, Nibhaz,
Tartak.
Since
the swine did not appear as themselves in a separate onstage scene,
the eight almighty Gods could easily play both swine and devils,
using dazzlingly faster-than-light shape-shifting to create
infinitely entertainingly frightening visual-aural actions.
Those
eight Gods also volunteered to play the thieves in the scene planned
by almighty God Remphan.
Almighty
Remphan’s scene was to be about a genetically-thieving tribe
that eventually thieved itself into a
Sodom-and-Gomorrah-good-riddance deserved disgraceful oblivion:
“Lo,
I raise up that bitter and hasty nation which shall march through the
breadth of the land to possess the dwelling places that are not
theirs. They are terrible and dreadful.”
At
the initial discussions of the plot-contents of the scenes, almighty
God Remphan cunningly and deliberately and thrillingly hid an
intention of his that would be a first achievement for an almighty
God onstage, in all eternity: he himself would play, concurrently,
every single member of the hundreds he intended to create, of that
genetically arrogantly thieving Semitic race.
Almighty
Gods being enthusiastic about embracing the opportunities to be cast
in the onstage roles of evil living things, was not out of character
for almighty Gods inasmuch as in almightiness, evil and goodness are
equal inclinations:
“Behold,
I will bring evil upon thee, thus saith the
Lord.-----The word of the Lord came, saying, I will bring evil
upon his house.-----The Lord said, I will be a lying
spirit in the mouths of all his prophets.”
And,
too, there is the record of Jehovah and Satan in heaven happily
joining hands in a gentleman’s agreement to torment the
righteous man, Job, of whom was said in God’s own words to
Satan, “There is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an
upright man; one that feareth God, and escheweth evil.”
The
Gods’ unsuppressed genetic proclivity to evil is revealed, too,
in cruelty to children. The only permanent-forever reality is in the
almighty Gods themselves. All else is temporary; here today for the
pleasure and, or, purpose of the almighty Gods themselves, and gone
tomorrow when the almighty Gods lose interest.
All
being temporary fiction, there can be no unacceptable
righteously-allowed evil in almighty Gods murdering children:
“The
Lord spake, saying, Kill every male among the little ones.-----The
Lord said, Utterly destroy the little ones of every city.-----The
Lord our God delivered into our hands their children, to utterly
destroy them.-----He cursed the children in the name of the Lord, and
there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty-two
children of them.-----The angel of the Lord appeared, and said, Arise
and take the young child, and flee. Then Herod slew all the children
from two years old and under.”
In
other words, in The Other Bible, all child-murderings by almighty
Gods are instances of merely fictional onstage theatrical
entertainment.
When
all discussions of scene contents had come to an end, all twenty-five
almighty Gods agreed that the title of their play would be, “ALL
ETERNITY’S A STAGE.”
When
all the scenes had been rehearsed over and over and over again, and
the play was ready for onstage performance, Jehovah almighty God, in
one morning-to-evening, did build a theatre with his own hands, and
by himself, and called it Eden.
And
for a spectator-audience for the performance of the almighty Gods’
play, Jehovah almighty God, in another morning-to-evening, did
especially create by speaking the words, “every living creature
that moveth: winged fowl and great whales and cattle and creeping
thing and beasts of the Earth and humans. Female and male, he,
Jehovah God almighty, created them.”
And,
more, to protect all living things against their own inevadable evil
imperfections, almighty God Jehovah incorporated into all living
things the absolutely imperative deoxyribonucleic acid drive to “not
revile the gods, and to sing unto them, and praise them with the
sound of the trumpet and harp, with the timbrel, and dance, and
stringed instruments and organs and high sounding cymbals. Let every
thing that hath breath, praise the Gods, because a living thing hath
no better purpose under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, dance,
and be merry.”
Only
almighty Gods are forever: “Heaven and Earth shall pass away,
but Gods’ words shall not pass away.”
When
this world eventually ceases to exist, the twenty-five almighty Gods
fully intend to take their show on the road throughout the infinite
universe, to entertain living things on countless other worlds,
forever.
Perhaps,
they will take us, their mortal audience, with them? Or will they be
creating different audiences on the countless different worlds they
visit?
Contact
Ezra (Unless
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