Friday the 13th - A Blessing
Abbie Creed
©
Copyright 2023 by Abbie Creed
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Photo of the author.
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Friday
the 13th
of March,2020 was like a week packed into one day. Realizing I was
out of postage stamps and needing to mail a birthday card to my
granddaughter, prompted an early morning visit to the Post Office and
since I was running low on hearing aid batteries, I decided to make a
stop at the nearby drug store where they were on sale 2 for 1 that
week. I never like to miss a sale! A trip to the fresh food market
to pick up my fresh vegetables for the week was next on the agenda
before heading to the Super Market to complete my weekly shopping for
staples.
After
returning home and unloading my goodies, I had just enough time to
make the Noon Mass at my church. Since this was the Season of Lent, I
tried to make going to mass a daily event. After Mass I ate a quick
lunch at home and left for my weekly hair appointment. When I began
teaching school many years ago that appointment was my treat for the
week, and I have continued that practice since retiring. This was
also haircutting week so my visit with the beautician took a bit
longer than usual.
That
mission accomplished, I stopped by the bank to cash a check and make
a withdrawal for my “play money,” a monthly routine. The
teller enjoyed teasing me about needing money for Bingo. She was
right. Sunday afternoon with friends at a church Bingo was a favorite
pastime for we retired and widowed ladies. I did not have much luck
playing Bingo, but the camaraderie and socialization were enough
reward. The next stop was the Dollar Store to re-stock my greeting
card supply.
On
Lenten Fridays our church sponsored a Fish Fry. I stopped by for some
of their delicious offerings of fried fish, French fries, and Cole
slaw, along with tasty green beans that made for a wonderful take
home meal. I didn’t have to cook! After eating a relaxing
dinner, I felt incredibly pleased to have accomplished so much in one
day. Friday the 13th
had been a busy day!
The
next day, Saturday, I heard the news that everyone was now ordered to
stay home due to the Covid19 pandemic. Friday the 13th truly was a
blessing! I had all that I needed. Everything in town was shut down,
including our churches. What a drastic change! Everyone who is not an
essential worker is asked to shelter at home, especially seniors and
those with pre-existing conditions. That meant that I would not be
attending church or going to Bingo on Sunday afternoon. Wednesday of
that week was my Ding-a-ling Bunco club that meets monthly, it was
canceled. My group of lady friends have been meeting on the 3rd
Wednesday for over 40 years. We have experienced births, deaths,
graduations, weddings, and funerals, shared in good times and in bad
times as well, and have been a great support for each other over
those years. We jokingly refer to our Wednesdays as our “sanity
sessions.”
I
have been blessed with good health making it possible for me to enjoy
taking friends who can no longer drive to doctor’s
appointments, shopping sprees and afternoon lunches. I love working
one day a week in the office at my church and watching the school
children go to and from the school cafeteria makes my day. I also had
a weekly Tai-chi class that I looked forward to. All this activity
came to a screeching halt. I have always believed that everything
happens for a reason, so am taking time to pray, do some meditation
and much reflecting on other “halts” in my life, and have
come to realize that this one too, may be a blessing.
I
remember as a young child, three of my brothers being drafted during
World War 11, that sugar, coffee, shoes, and gasoline were rationed
and that many children wore Hirarchies. They were sandals that could
be purchased without using stamps. Kids loved wearing them because
they squeaked when they walked. Everyone had a victory garden in
their back yard. The children‘s job was keeping it watered. Air
Raid practices were a common thing. They were very scary because all
the lights were out in our homes and on street corners. Everything
was pitch black, and until the “All clear” sirens were
sounded everyone had to stay inside.
Before
the war, I lived with my father, my grandfather, my 5 brothers, and 3
sisters, along with my Aunt and Uncle who came to live with us after
the depression of 1929. My aunt was my father’s only sibling.
She and her husband lived in Chicago. They had no children, so she
traveled extensively with him in his business. They were well off
financially until the banks folded and the stock market crashed. They
lost everything they had. Looking back in time this was such a
blessing. My mother died of Pneumonia four days after my baby sister
was born in 1933. I was a toddler at the time and don’t
remember much of the happenings, but I have been told by family
members of those very difficult years.
During
the war, my father had a small chapel in the corner of the living
room where he often went to pray. I recall him spending a lot of
time praying for my brother’s safe return. He had Parkinson
disease that was rapidly progressing and the stress of my brothers
serving overseas took a big toll on his life. The victory days: V.J.
Day and V.E. Day, to celebrate the end of the war, were exciting. I
remember the paper boys shouting “EXTRA, EXTRA” in the
streets selling the good news! Not long after the war was over my
brothers came home unharmed. Prayers answered! However, during their
time away, my father died from his disease.
After
the war and my father’s death, big changes were in store for
our family. After several of my siblings had married, the next sister
who was 5 years older than me was graduating high school, moved with
two older brothers. My younger sister and I moved to an apartment
with my aunt and uncle and her father, our grandpa. Other than moving
locations and missing the comings and goings of our neighborhood, our
lives remained the same. We continued to worship at the same church,
attend the same schools with our friends, and experienced the same
love and care as before. We certainly were abundantly blessed to be
able to continue our schooling in a happy environment with the same
loving family. Most nights after dinner and homework was finished, we
listened to the radio and played board games with our aunt and uncle.
When
I was 21 years old, I married my best friend. We were gifted with six
children, a daughter and five sons. We had been happily married for
almost 30 years and my youngest son was a senior in high school, when
my husband was diagnosed with three cerebral aneurysms. He underwent
two very lengthy brain surgeries, spent seven weeks in intensive
care, and had two near death experiences. Dramatic change!
My
husband had owned a small Insurance Agency and taught music part time
in a private school. I too, was teaching school. Some of our children
were already married and had children of their own. Even though our
lives were turned upside down, and many adjustments to this new life
had to be made, my children and I relied heavily on our faith and a
new normal was in the making.
After
a month of physical and occupational therapy, my husband came home
and with help from the children, continued to improve for the next 24
years. Our decision to bring him home proved to be a wise one. He was
confined to a wheelchair but lived a happy and stress-free life.
Remembering
how the whole family pitched in to care for him at home, after having
been advised to place him in a nursing facility, is mind-boggling to
me. I was able to continue to teach and that was a blessing because
when I was with the children, I was free of stress. Those children
were lifesaving for me. Keeping our life as normal as possible helped
my husband become more independent as time went by.
All
but three of my 17 grandchildren learned to walk using “Grandpa’s”
wheelchair. He enjoyed many times playing board games and having
special treats at the card table in the living room, especially since
eating in the living room was usually forbidden. He enjoyed outings
with the kids and monthly birthday celebrations with the family. He
had always been active in our church as Minister of Music and did
miss that, but he was the first to compliment the present minister on
a job well done. His love of music was ever present, especially when
our oldest son, an accomplished musician came to entertain him.
After
24 years the children had all left the nest, my husband was diagnosed
with Lymphoma. He tried taking chemo treatments, but they were
unsuccessful. When it was determined that the Lymphoma was terminal.
I prayed for guidance to make the right decision for him. I contacted
Hospice. With their support, along with our strong faith, the help
and assistance of our family and friends, our church community, and
the many pray-ers, who lifted us up with their prayers and support,
we were brought comfort and peace. The children and grandchildren
visited often to play games and share stories. Six months after the
diagnosis, my husband died a peaceful and happy death in his own
bed. Prayers answered again!
After
his passing and having spent 25 years on duty as caregiver 24/7, I
knew that I was facing a big change and would need to create another
new normal. The first week was difficult. I had retired after 34
years of teaching and coordinating religious education in our parish
school and though there was much to do around the house, it was not
what I needed. I talked with a good friend about looking for
something to do to fill the void. Her words are with me to this day.
She said, “You don’t have to look, God will look for you. Be patient,
let go and let God guide you.” Was she ever right!
The
very next week, I was asked to substitute in the church office for
the receptionist so she could take a vacation. It was a perfect fit
for me since I knew most of the church families because I had taught
their children. My own children had graduated from the school, making
me familiar with that generation of families as well. When that week
ended, I began volunteering there one day a week.
I
had planned my husband’s funeral and created a funeral program
for his service, so it was fitting that I volunteer as Funeral
Coordinator for other church families. Meeting with them and helping
them choose scripture readings and make music selections for the
services for their loved ones is the most rewarding thing I have ever
done.
After
recalling the past, I wonder, could Covid 19 possibly be considered a
blessing? I see Families spending time together, no carpooling to
sports activities or practices during mealtime. Children and parents
have fun times together at home. Parents have even become teachers.
Neighbors sitting on porches are greeting the neighborhood walkers.
People are noticing others even with masks on, and kindness and
caring abounds as businesses and churches are beginning to open.
Praying
and reflecting on God’s presence in and through the many
changes in my lifetime and the new normals experienced, I have come
to realize that this pandemic is just another “halt,” a
time for change, one that is requiring the creation of a new normal.
What that new normal will look like, is a mystery to be lived!
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