Sabaha Amir Rana--The Great Toilet Paper Heist

Chapter 1: The Plan (Probably Illegal)

Addy had a whiteboard.

Vicky had a duffel bag.

Ju-Ling had a stopwatch and three spreadsheets.

Barry had a skateboard and no idea what was happening, but he was in anyway.

They were gathered in the back corner of the library behind the encyclopedias no one touched since 2004.

Addy whispered:

“We strike at 2:03 p.m. Exactly. That’s when Principal Haddock leaves his office to microwave his fish lunch.”

“Wait,” said Vicky. “You timed his lunch schedule?”

Ju-Ling didn’t look up. “I have a chart. I also tracked the janitor’s closet unlock window and the optimal roll trajectory based on hallway air currents.”

“Of course you did,” said Addy, beaming.

Barry just popped a wheelie and said, “This is gonna be so toilet.”

Chapter 2: Code Name: Fluffy Justice

Every great mission needs a name.

Some suggestions had been:

Operation: Tissue Explosion
Roll Call
TP or Not TP

But they all agreed on: Operation: Fluffy Justice

Addy brought maps of the school, stolen from the lost binder in the front office. Vicky brought snacks. Ju-Ling brought five rolls of 3-ply. The good stuff.

“Are we... gonna get arrested?” Barry asked, munching a Lunchable.

“No,” said Vicky. “Just possibly suspended. Or made to write apology letters to a filing cabinet. Again.”

Chapter 3: Launch Time

2:03 p.m.

The hallway was clear.

Ju-Ling clicked her stopwatch.

“Go time.”

Vicky slung the bag over her shoulder like a pro. Addy gave the signal—a suspiciously dramatic thumbs up. Barry kicked off on his skateboard, holding two rolls like ninja stars.

They darted through the hallway like overly caffeinated raccoons.

The security camera caught:

A blur of sneakers
A flash of toilet paper
Someone shouting “FOR JUSTICE AND BATHROOM SUPPLIES!”

Chapter 4: Target Acquired

The mission: wrap Principal Haddock’s office. From the inside.

Addy had gotten the key from a highly suspicious trade involving a stale donut and blackmail about an overdue library book.

They crept inside.

The walls? TP’d.

The chairs? TP’d.

The desk? TP’d, stacked, and folded into the shape of a swan.

“He’s gonna think he got visited by a very polite ghost,” Vicky whispered.

Suddenly, Ju-Ling froze.

“There’s one thing left.”

She pointed.

The vending machine.

The one that once ate her dollar.

It was personal.

Chapter 5: The Vending Machine Reckoning

The machine stood tall. Cold. Unblinking. Full of snacks and betrayal.

Ju-Ling narrowed her eyes.

“This one’s for my childhood.”

Together, they wrapped it like a very weird birthday present.

The vending machine dinged and—somehow—ejected a bag of Funyuns.

“...It surrendered,” Barry whispered.

Chapter 6: Evacuation Mode

Walkie-talkie crackled.

“Barry to Team Burrito. We’ve got movement. Shoelace Enforcer spotted by the water fountain!”

Translation: Hall monitor incoming. And she always checks for uniform violations and fun.

“We need an exit,” Addy hissed.

Ju-Ling yanked down a poster.

“AWKWARD JAZZ NIGHT – Tickets $3 or one good lie.”

Behind it: a janitor shortcut tunnel no one used.

They vanished just as the hall monitor rounded the corner, holding a clipboard and a grudge.

Chapter 7: Aftermath and Snack Recovery

The intercom buzzed the next day.

Principal Haddock’s voice, tired and vaguely wrapped in paper.

“To whoever... transformed my office into a discount mummy exhibit—please return my stapler. Also... bring scissors.”

The crew sat quietly at lunch.

Vicky ate the victory Funyuns.

Ju-Ling doodled a blueprint for “Operation: Glitter Bomb.”

Addy was working on a new motto:

“We struck soft... but struck hard.”