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Funny
Thoughts
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 Photo by James-Anthony at Pexels |
I
wonder what is wrong with people. I am thinking all of the time and I
assume that everyone else does too. But what are they thinking?
Certainly not anything funny. I mean, when was the last time you saw
a solitary person laughing. Just all by themself, laughing. I'll bet
it's been a while. Hell, I do it all of the time. I guess
people
think I am nuts, but it doesn't much matter what strangers think of
me.
I
used to ride the bus often when I was a young man living in the West
End. I would be waiting for the bus home with a group of people at
the bus stop and I would recall something funny that I read or heard
or saw and I would laugh. Usually not a guffaw, but a snicker, and
people would instantly glare at me. Often they would glance at
themselves, checking to see if their pants were zipped or whatever
else might be wrong.
I thought it was funny that their first reaction was, I was laughing at them. Most people at the bus stop were not funny. In fact they were a rather lugubrious lot.
Because of that one little outburst, various ones would keep glancing at me now and again to make sure I wasn't pulling a knife or something, I guess.
I love to read, too. I am not a speed reader. I read slowly, absorbing the scenery and whatnot. I read dialogue like I am in a play or movie and I put myself in the picture. It's more fun that way.
One time, at a downtown eatery, I had to sit at a table in the middle aisle and I was alone, so I started to glance through a Don Martin, of Mad Magazine, cartoon book and it got me started and I couldn't stop. I snickered at first, but the more I tried to stifle my glee, the more difficult it was to stop, so I didn't. I kept on sputtering and snorting and hiding my reddened face in my hands until I was able to get myself somewhat under control.
I was once kicked out of the West End Library for laughing. I was in a booth with earphones, but I was laughing so loudly at something on a record, that the librarian ordered me to get out. But still, I always wondered why other people never seemed to think about funny things.
I spoke about riding the bus earlier and I am reminded of a funny incident that happened to me on a bus one day. I was coming home from work and I lived at the end of the line. I always sat in the back seat and one day the penultimate passenger got off the bus about four blocks from the end. The driver took off and suddenly burst loudly into song. He warbled "Carolina Moon" at the top of his voice down the street and he almost wrecked the bus when I rang the bell. I didn't have to ring it, of course, I did it on purpose and he was surprised to say the least. His face was red as a beet and he apologized, but I laughed and told him it was okay. He just didn't see me in that back seat.
"I enjoyed the concert," I said before jumping off the bus.
Nowadays, and for some years, I channeled my thoughts in more productive pursuits. I play memory games with myself. It began in a small way back in high school, when we were told that we had to memorize Hamlet's soliloquy. We were given the choice to write it or give it orally. I was the only one in the class to choose orally. Most of the kids were afraid of oral reports. I wasn't. It took me a while, but I would memorize, like, ten lines. Then ten more, always going back to the beginning each time. I found this method of repetition a great way to memorize something of length.
Then I started to memorize stuff I was interested in, like the Kentucky Derby winners. I had great fun when the situation came up, to casually say, "Yeah, I know all of those," when I was dying inside for someone to bring up the subject. I got to 148 or 149 and then let them go because I wasn't going to any more Derby parties, and practically everybody was dying off and there was no need to continue. It was hard and I had to constantly go over them in my head.
After the Derbies, I took to the Presidents and then to geography. I learned to do the states (no big deal) by learning them in alphabetical order, from A to W and W to A, and geographically from west to east and east to west. Not that big of a deal, I realize, but then I learned at least six cities or towns in each one. A bit more difficult. I haven't found anyone off hand who can do that. It may sound easy, but try it.
Off of the top of your head, name six towns in Maryland, or Delaware, or Vermont, or Nebraska, or Illinois, or Utah. Not so easy. In fact the only "easy" non native states are California, Florida and Texas.
For good measure, I learned the song, I've Been Everywhere, written by Geoff Mack and first recorded by Hank Snow back in the fifties. It contains the names of ninety two places if I remember correctly. And I think I do. There are 91 in the original song and I threw another local town in at the end, New Albany, which is across the Ohio River from Louisville, which would always get a laugh.
Between the Derbies, the Presidents, the states and the song, I could occupy myself for hours without a book or music player, so I never got bored. But I don't know anyone who is interested in that stuff anymore, so I kind of let it go. I can still remember a lot of those things, but not all of them. I doubt if I can remember more than 120 Derby winners any more.
If you were born in 1961, that was Carry Back. 1983? That was Sunny's Halo. Let's go way back. How about 1882? That was Apollo. 1934? That was Cavalcade. Don't get me started.