My father-in-law used to be an affable person, but he could be menacing when dealing with his suppliers. His suppliers were poor plantain-growing agriculturists. My father-in-law used to buy bananas from these suppliers and sell them on a commission basis. Perhaps due to his uncheerful occupation and his fixation on business supremacy, his attitude towards his suppliers was intimidating. So, it was not surprising that most of this brigade hated my father-in-law.

Years of hard work, frequent melancholy-inducing occasions, and obstacles might also have contributed to his tough nature. But it cannot be said that he was without vulnerability. His weakness was unmissable during occasions when he had to protect his family and more particularly, his daughters. A dissection of his life would reveal how he endured all his struggles and what we can learn from them. 

Childhood Days.

His mother died when he was just 8 months old. His father remarried. So my father-in-law was left to be brought up by his uncle and aunt. He never wanted to meet his father even in his boyhood. Whenever his father visited him, he used to hide and refuse to meet him. After his father's demise, he decided to take care of his stepmother and step-sister. However, since he did not pursue his studies, he had to take up a small job with a merchant. He learned to keep and write accounts when he was on the job. 

Venturing into a business.

In the region where he lived, there were plenty of banana plantations. The region was the main supplier of bananas to the whole of his state and even beyond. So, he decided to take a plunge into that trade. He mustered courage and sought help from the son of the merchant with whom he was working. With the financial assistance he got, he started a plantain commission agency business. 

Business Operations and Family.

In those days, goods such as bananas had to be transported via railway wagons only. So, he used to sleep near the railway sidings because the wagons would be placed only at midnight. He would get the goods loaded into the wagons, and only after that, he would return home. Since he was already married, his wife used to stay awake until he returned home. Thanks to his nocturnal adventures, his family grew into a large one. He had 5 sons and 3 daughters.

His business grew. But sometimes when he was away, there would be heavy winds and all the banana plantations would be destroyed. Sometimes, competition ravaged his plans. There would be a heavy loss. But he was a tenacious person. He believed that there would be good times. So, he would begin the next season with hopes. There might be huge profits next year, or there might be losses for two or three years consecutively. But as said earlier, his tenacity, resilience, persistence, and belief in God helped him keep going and stay afloat in the business.. 

Amassing Wealth.

If he got profits consecutively for two, three, or even four years, he would use his acumen and make meticulous and long-term plans to invest in properties. Thanks to the banana plantations he grew on his properties, he could improve his business manifold. He almost became a horseshoe for money. So, he did not feel the pinch of maintaining such a large family. He was determined to grow his business. He pushed his boundaries to ensure that he got better in his business day after day. He did not have time for vacations or for spending time with his children, including their spring breaks. Perhaps, he thought that it would dilute his focus on his business. Maybe he lacked some of the delicate sensibilities a father was supposed to possess towards his children. In his lexicon, the phrase "expressing love" was missing, though in the heart of his heart, he loved his kids. The result was that not all the boys and girls were good at studies. Out of 8 children, only two boys graduated, but their grades were also just average. 

Why did his relatives hate him?.

Another unfortunate thing about his life was that his financial success ruffled a few feathers, and all his relatives, including his brother-in-law, sisters-in-law, and those in his extended family, hated him. Though it was obvious that they were jealous of his success, the caustic and vitriolic language he and his wife used while talking to them, and more particularly, the not-so-well among them, distanced them from him. Not only that, he was highly opinionated. He would not take advice from anyone, not to talk of two-pennorth suggestions. This was another reason people disliked him.

With his growing income in the business, he could get all his children married. In due time, he had grandchildren. Even when there was a small family function, as many as 40 to 50 people participated. Money was never a constraint. 

Business and revenues started moving South.

While one of his sons-in-law was working for a bank, another was in the insurance industry. The third son-in-law was working for the government. Tranquility ruled the roost in my father-in-law's life until his third son-in-law made an unfortunate and foolish decision to quit his job and start his own business. The son-in-law not only failed in the business but also got into a debt trap. My father-in-law helped his son-in-law to a significant extent. But the son-in-law could not become debt-free because his debts were huge.

His end.

The father-in-law was financially burdened because he helped his son-in-law beyond his capacity. Due to old age and the bitter-warfare-like competition in the plantain commission agency business, he could not continue his business as well. This affected his health. He developed cardiovascular ailments, and though he was brave and intrepid, he succumbed and died. 

What we can learn from his life.

The moral we can learn from my father-in-law's life is that one need not have a family or financial background to achieve success in life. Only because of his grit, determination, and tenacity, my father-in-law succeeded. He made the right decisions at the right time. He did not shy away from taking risks or approaching the right people to seek help. 

Another lesson my father-in-law's life teaches is that it is not enough if one is affable to his kith and kin. One should be kind and empathetic to everyone, and importantly, towards poor folks.

Yet another lesson is that one should not help others beyond one's capacity because it will lead to disaster. It is like chewing more than one can swallow. Had my father-in-law limited his help to his son-in-law or guided him properly, he could have avoided much mental distress. Though he might not have become immortal, he would have lived a little longer.

I, Raman Kuppuswamy, from Chennai, Tamilnadu, India, have been a freelance content creator since December 2007. I am 72 now and I have worked for hundreds of clients on ODesk (presently UpWork). I have always evinced interest in story-telling but have not succeeded in getting a big mileage in it. I hope this story will open up new possibilities for me.