Mama
Maggie have been wanting to leave her marriage just like I’m
wanting to leave my family. But we’re not all wanting to leave for
the same personal reason. For me, I’m wanting to leave for the sake
of my children; because of the suffering they’ve been suffering
since I born them to this world. Everyday, they're complaining for
better life that we cannot give them and it's paining me too much.
Not like their father’s not trying him best for them, he’s but
when you marry to a man that still tie him wrapper to him mama waist,
your situation go worse times-two because you'll be struggling where
your agemate are running forward, slow like a big Congo meat.
But try and understand me because I'm not talking that he shouldn’t
love him mama. After all, me sef I’m a mother and
tomorrow,
my children go love me the same but not like so; not like the mumu
way that their father’s busy loving their grandmother. Because as I
see it, that man be always choosing him mama over us his immediate
family.
For
instance last year, when he join yahoo-yahoo and collect some
oshofree money from him abroad woman,
she pay him the
money and my husband was planning to useless everything right before
my own eyes. Before that time sha, my body fall to
small
sickness and my body hot faifai like Mama Carol
Coalport. So
that, I run to madam Nurse sharperly to collect
medicine and
injection for treatment. My husband promise then to settle her when
the money land him account because he say to me that, the money is
very huge, and the bank people are not allowing it to drop inside him
aza. So he go and do small upgrade first before it finally
drop
inside. When this happen, I happy for him very well because it means
that God have answered our prayers and all our problems go solve one
by one. But guess what? My darling husband say he have other plans
for the money. That's how I break down confused.
Two
days later, he come back home drink drunk with some friends that I’ve
never see for many years since we pack into this yard and because
they’ve all drink beer to stupor, they all start singing merry
music for every corner of the yard disturbing the neighbourhood. I
call my husband aside and ask him how far! He tell
me that him
mama house is leaking seriously; that he want to change the roof and
do some other things because for many years now, he have not been
able to meet up as the man of the house as if him own papa is not
manning enough for him family. Meanwhile, my husband’s not even the
firstborn son talkless of the man of the house. Him senior brother
who go to loss inside America since have never bring home one dollar
for the family even though they all suffer to send him there. Yet,
they’re not worrying him like that except my oga like if their
problem is him birthright. And this thing’s making me angry for my
husband like seriously.
But
then, I respectfully tell my husband that I don't get problem with
him decision as long as me and my children belleful.
Normally,
I'm not even the type of woman that's asking him for too much things
like most women do shawarma and pizza. All I’m asking him is to
give us our own share of the yahoo money, so that
me and my
children go enjoy ourself too. Because when he’s busy showing him
black preek to oyibo women for the money, I’m the
one
swallowing spit to hide my jealousy here.
Immediately
I talk this, my oga vex for me. He nearly slap my facesaying
that I’m stupid for disrespecting him family which I know I didn't
do. But because of the alcohol he have drunk too much, he's simply
looking for a way to quarrel with me but I dodge him wahala
with small sense. So instead, I push him children to one side so that
they can cryand help me disgrace him well-well in
front of
him ofogori friends. Later, when they have all go
away like
blind Bartimeaus, he tell me that he’ll beat me if I try that
rubbish again, that I shouldn't use him children against him again. I
answered O! But still, he didn't transfer the
money as he
promise me. So I continue to swallow spit and let him do as him like.
Following
day reach, my oga sneak from the house like a mwuo
and
didn’t come back until late night when our neck have all long like
tolotolo neck because of hungry. Sha
he confess that he
leave message for us to collect foodstuff from Mama Nkechi to cook
and chop since morning. But Mama Nkechi didn't deliver anything for
us. Maybe she forget, or maybe she have tired for all our igbese
so that she didn't bother to tell us anything. Anyway, my oga return
with brand new I-beta-pass-my-neigbour, one
smartphone for me
and tablet for the children to whip away him sins. He also buy us ice
cream, sardine bread from Nadia Bakery, suya and
parfait which
my children trowey because it not sweet like the ice-cream. We thank
him sha for the food and I call my children “bush
babies”
for not liking the parfait.
That
night, I give my husband a good f.ck and tell him everything I need
from him. He tell me, he’ll surprise me that I should relax myself.
So I agree and wait for him. And for one week, I didn't enter kitchen
to cook anything. All we're doing is eat different medemede
from different fast food joints. My husband say we must not eat
house-make food all the time. And I agree with him because wetin?
Have we not suffer enough? Did we kill anybody to be managing life
hard like this? Omo God bless yahoo o! I pray in
my small
vanity. Because at least, once in a while somebody should be enjoying
themselves like this. My husband too is happy like me, him favourite
Bini songs always blasting from the JBL. One track
is singing
that it's what you chop that’ll follow you to the grave so
let's
enjoy life small-small.
“True
talk Osamede!” I praise the singer and smile to myself.
Later,
I remember my husband that we haven't pay madam Nurse her money yet,
because everybody in the area now know that he have win jackpot
from him oyinbo CL especially all the people that
we're owing
credit. My husband shun me up and tell me to forget
the matter
because he still have other important things to do with money. But I
refuse and tell him that the money have stay long, that the woman
will not be happy with us. Immediately, he shout for
me and
jump comot from the bed where he have been chatting with him new
Turkey client and pick his shirt to leave again. I look at my husband
and I’m thinking that maybe this man have kolo for
him head
because I don't understand why he don't want to pay the nurse her
money.
“Daddy
Uyi, you never answer me and you want to leave the house again?” I
tell him as he’s going. He didn't reply to me instead, he just waka
from the house and never return until after three days.
When
I see him again, he have go to buy my mother-in-law two deep freezer
that long from here to reach Cotonou border, one giant plasma
television with Gotv decoder. He also change her
phone from
Nokia torchlight to Samsung Galaxy.
Then he buy him
junior sister iPhone13 and repaint their mama
provision shop
while we’re still here managing with our indomie box
TV that
we’ve been using since I born my first pikin Uyi. That's how my oga
behave tilly the money finish after two months and
our eyes
clear fiam.
Can
I complain for the thing? No, I can't. Because it's a case of
money-miss-road and if I talk now, they’ll say that
I'm the
bad wife who don't want her mother-in-law to be enjoying the fruit of
her labour. If not for the small change that he give us to buy
foodstuff inside the house, I'm sure that my mouth and the children
for not taste anything from that money. Anyway, this how my husband
behave anytime he see big money and is so annoying to me that I wish
I win my own jackpot too. But then, what can a
simple woman
like me do, if not to be pleasing her husband and be swallowing spit
for all him nonsense behaviour?
Later-later,
I end up selling the same phone that he buy for me because madam
Nurse is now dragging me like generator rope. And Daddy Uyi haven't
been seeing any more yahoo client to bomb like
before. So, I
sell the phone to settle my debt and still give him part of the money
to travel to Ughelli where he go to do small bricklayer job and use
the rest for family upkeeping. Even though, I'm happy that I've
resolve this problem without drawing plenty embarrassment from him
family people because my mother-in-law for no like it that I chop
credit on top of her son head. Because she always
against me
and complaining that I'm the cause of her son backwardness situation
in life.
And
sometimes, it's like me sef I'm wanting to believe
her because
my husband’s not helping matter. He always bringing me down before
them, insulting me and my family saying that we're poor kalaba
people. But God knows that anything I do, I do for him and my
children. I don't blame him sha, makachukwu if I
haven't get
pregnancy for him at fifteen and stay with him family, I will not be
collecting all this insults. Anyway, I don't care again because as
long as I have my children with me, everything’ll be fine. So I go
to pack my few things ready to move out at the right time, but my
boy, Uyi that one will die first before leaving him Papa house to run
away with me.
—
For
Mama Maggie, my neighbour, I don't know why she have been dying to
leave her marriage. But I'm suspecting that it get something to do
with her husband bad behaviour. Because that man temper can boil even
strong tinko meat to done.Assuming
anybody ask me now,
how she end up with this type of vexy-vexy man, I
cannot
answer. All I know is that, Mama Maggie have been suffering silently
in the hand of this aguyi. You can easy-easy see
the trace of
painfulness inside her eyes when she bother to talk to you in the
morning inside the yard. Even though she hate that I like to surveyor
her. One day, she tell me to stop looking at her like a lab
rat.
I don't know wetin she mean but sha, I let her to
breathe.
I
was here when they pack and come to live with us in this yard. That
time when they come, I was not doing anything much so I get the time
to be seeing everything that's going on in the compound. And I see
how the man’s always locking her inside their apartment day by day
and putting the key inside him back pocket as he go out. I see how
he’s beating her to blue black nearly to the point of dead
especially when he have take small kaikai. I also
see how he
forcing her to bed him some afternoon when he return back from his
tailor workshop to relax after work. He always running crazy for that
bottom thing like say if him wife nor give it to him
that
instant, he go die. He’ll pounce on top of her like tiger when she
refuse him. Then he go accuse her of sleeping with other men. What he
do to her before he climb her everyday only God Jehovah know.
—
Mostly
that time when I'm seeing all this cinema things, I
was a
hairdresser plaiting student hair for my area for small-small change
which I use to support myself and my two children because Daddy Uyi
have lost him lebuke work which is why he join yahoo-yahoo
in the first place. So therefore, within that period
of my
staying for house and doing my hairdressing business, many things
have happened that my mouth cannot talk but as I always live my life,
I like to mind my own business.
So
I don't like to shook my eyes or mouth inside
another man and
wife matter. Because, when they have settle finish, the women
especially, it's that your small advice that you give them that
they'll use to rub their husband brokus and in the
end, you
become the bad person. One time, my own best friend do me that same
thing and I vow never to pokenose inside any man and woman matter
again. My grandmama talk many years before that Ọtụand
Amụ matter is a strong medicine which nothing in this life can
spoil it. So therefore, taking to that simple advice from my
grandmama since I was small tilly now, I don't like
to put my
mouth inside something like that. But sha my
concern for Mama
Maggie will not let me rest. I just want to help her.
So
therefore one day, I tell my husband about it when we're climbing
into bed ready for sleep so that he will advise her husband to
arrange something for her to be doing. Because she still haven't get
the chance to be going out to look for daily bread like other women,
only her husband go to hustle, bring money back for her and she happy
with him like a slave. Papa Uyi frank him face very
hard and
warn me to keep quiet and mind my own business. He saybecause
of the small thing I’m doing now, I think that I get the right to
be pokenosing into people family matter not so?
“But
Daddy Uyi, this woman need help. I think…”
“Madam
you better keep your mouth from their matter.” He warn me again.
“This people don't ask for your help, leave them alone. Wetin I
say? Leave them alone, it no concern us.”
So
I close my mouth and kuku obey him because I
didn't want to
quarrel with him because of the matter. I only turn my face to the
wall and continue to weigh the matter for my head like I'm weighing
ede inside a small kitchen basket. Soon, Papa Uyi
hand begin
to search for my waist and puneneh. Omo this
man ehn. I
smile my wayo smile and turn and face him. What
happen next,
well you already know.
Mmmmmm…mmmmm……that's
how we fight tilly we tire.
As
we maintain our tire position after the first round of knacking,
facing up with our empty yansh Papa Uyi still
romancing my
bobbi and gently totori-ing my
wet puneneh, we
start hearing Papa and Mama Maggie inside a hot fighting commotion.
Ahan! This people again? Soon the children have run
and reach
our doormot. They start banging our door like say the devil dey
behind them. “Daddy Uyi please help us!” They shout for us. My
husband was the first person to fly comot from bed with him empty
preek. He grab him boxers from the floor and wear it
quick-quick with one dirty singlet. Then he cross over our sleeping
children who are already rolling and kicking each other on the ground
bed. I wear something too and rush outside.
By
the time we have open the door and step outside, the whole yard have
already gather to see the gbeghe like Uselu fly.
“What’s
going on here?” The new tenant among us ask. She's the only person
who have not yet witness their wahala so she reach
to ask. We
rush inside the house like lightening ignore her yeye question.
Papa Maggie’s busy punching him wife for head, and pressing her
body against the sewing table, “She's not breathing oo!”Somebody shout for him to stop.
—
When
Mama Maggie begin to respond to touch, we discover that one part of
her blouse have burnt with pressing iron. Tears begin to gather for
my eyes as we rush her outside to the passage so that we can give her
first aid job.
“What
happened?” Again the new tenant asking.
“What’s
your problem madam? You don't get eyes to see?” Papa Uyi attack
her.
“My
daddy used hot iron to stone my mummy.” One of the children
explain.
“Stone?
Hot iron? Papa Karo!” the neighbour hala for groundand
open her mouth not able to close it.
Somebody
hiss and talk that “to think that he's a well informed fellow
acting like a lout! How savagely of him!” That one na oga Joseph
our caretaker. Immediately he talk this, he just waka enter him
house.
Mama
Maggie cannot even talk one word because of the pain she’s feeling
inside her back. She's only crying like somebody who have lose a
child. But lucky for her, we call on the nurse down the road to come
and assist us with proper care because the one we're giving her isn't
working at all. Meanwhile, some of the men have carry Papa Maggie
outside for cautioning. One of them is a vigilante man and have
threaten to drag him to their office if he make peem again.
While we do everything we can to subside Mama Maggie pain, we pour
some cold water, tin milk and fresh egg to the surface of the wound
to help calm it. Then we blow her back with anything that can serve
like fan for the moment as we wait for the nurse to come.
The
children soon shout Up Nepa when they bring the
light.
*
* *
Inside
that week, when I get the chance to talk to Mama Maggie about the
fight, I ask her what true-true happen between them that they're
always fighting each other. Because I know that the matter go beyond
ordinary cloth as they talk for compound gossip. She shake her head
not talking anything. But when I press her too much with my
questioning, she begin to shake in her body. What is so heavy that
she cannot tell me God? I wonder. Then she tell me that she want to
go.
“Go
where Mama Maggie?” I ask her. “What exactly is doing you? You
can tell me anything my dear sister.”
She
look me as I’m looking her. It's like she have lost for some place
where nobody can go to rescue her. The matter didn't reach her to
talk out as she's struggling to combine her voice together with my
question but still yet, it's like her mouth too dumb to talk as her
whole body continue to shake like wet kpupkueyeke
and I'm
fearing in my head. What's going on God?
“Mama
Maggie tell me what you scared for!”
“No
I can't. I'm too ashamed to tell you! You'll judge me too!”
“Judge
you? How I go judge you when I never even hear what bothering you?”
I insist upon her.
She
sit down suddenly on top of the reservoir well in the middle of the
yard and cover her face with her two both hand. Then I hear her cry
softly-softly inside her palm like small tata
waking up from
sleep. Why she crying now? I wonder.
“Mama
Maggie! Mama Maggie!
“I've
destroyed my life. Everything’s my fault!Everything's
my
fault.”
“How
everything your fault woman?” I ask not understanding her.
She
pause for sometime but talking that she cheat on Papa Maggie with him
best friend. “Don't you get it?”
“Cheat
kwa?” I shock for my body. How? When?
“But
that was a long time ago Mama Uyi when we were still living in
Lagos.”
“Oh
ok.” I cannot hide my shock still yet. I fold my
hand inside
my wrapper and listen to her bitter story.
“We
were newly wedded.” she begin “We’d only started life with
Ufuoma getting this job as a seaman in his friend's company boat. One
day, my husband came home with the news of joining one of the
company's vessels to Kuwait for some professional training which I
was very excited about after years of unemployment. But two years
passed, Ufuoma was lingering to return home and I was starting to get
worried. I visited his friend, Kingsley and complained about Ufuoma’s
delay in returning. Kingsley assured me of everything being okay,
that it was a lengthy process. That it takes time. So I swallowed his
words and went home. A week later, we both attended a party
coincidentally and got drunk. Anyways, long story short. We both made
a mistake and words got out to Ufuoma that I was sleeping with his
best friend. But it was that one time.”
“Why
you sef not tell him the truth?”
“I
did but which man will believe that his best friend slept with his
wife by mistake?”
“So
why him not divorce you as he cannot forgive you nko?”
“I
begged him to let me go in peace but he refused. He said he'd become
the bane of our lives and so we relocated from Lagos to Benin and
since then all I've received are insults, battering and constant
house arrest. Please help me Mama Uyi I'm tired.”She
cry
aloud this time. I hug her to my body and she's shaking like scrab
motor parts against me. I pat her for
back telling her to
forgive herself and go look for help in her marriage. She sigh
frustration and heaviness from her throat and say:
“Did
you know how many times I've tried? The battering and domestic
violence? Mama Uyi, my husband nearly killed me at our previous
residence. You see this scar on my right thigh, it was a…” she
stop talking.”
“Mama
Maggie I think I sabi your wahala
and pain. But trust
me, me sef get my own cross to carry inside my own
marriage.
But all I go tell you is to put everything for God hand. One day,
your husband go change.”
She
look me and shake her head like skekesheke. From
that moment,
I understand what she know. Mama Maggie don't believe me. It only
mean that she have heard my word but what she’ll do with my token
advice is left for her. And so I dust my yansh from
the place
we siddon to talk and go to prepare evening food
for my family
household.
—
Long
after night have fall, word come to reach us that Mama Maggie have go
missing. Missing ke? How come? I check our wall
clock. Time
have just pass eleven-thirty in the night. Ahan. I
tap my
husband to wake up. He didn't shake body in time because him body
have break down like engineboat. As soon as he get up, he shout for
me following with plenty curses.
“Are
you stupid? What's with you and this people for God's sake? They
should allow us rest inside this compound naw?
Today Mama
Maggie, tomorrow Mama Maggie, what happen between you and them? You
know how I struggle to keep all-night with all this yahoo business,
and still go site to hustle during the day. Why you not let me sleep
small abeg!” Papa Uyi grumble for hours.
“Daddy
Uyi, abeg nor vex.”I tell him
but I'm upset that he
insult me first before listening to me. I know he have over work
himself with all this yahoo-yahoo work and so
waking him up
now is like konking him for head. So I quick-quick
jump out of
bed with only pant and my naked breast. I almost match over my
sleeping children for the ground bed. He reach for my waist and pull
me back “where you think you're going without covering your body?
Please tie something jor!”
He command me.
“Se
I tell you that I'm going out like this?” I shout back for
him.
We two then catwalk outside together like two lazy pussycat that have
chop belleful. We see that the whole compound have
gather to
look for Mama Maggie. They're searching every nook and cranny now,
from inside keke to the bottom of motorcar, every
angle. In
short, it remaining the dark night sky that we didn't check before we
eventually see her. But guess where we find mama Maggie at long last?
We
find her inside the cassava farm that's behind our apartment
building. Mama Maggie lie face up lifeless looking everybody like
home-video! Her whole body soft mekemeke like
overripe
plantain, as if she's sleeping ordinary sleep. Papa Maggie faint
immediately he set eyes on her dead body. So this man get
human
sympathy like this? He don't even know how to comfortable
himself. The poor man just crying like tata. He
begin to drag
the lifeless body, begging her to come back. He's talking of medicine
after dead. He say she can punish him instead but she must follow him
first back to the house.
“What
do you want me to tell the children Regina?” He slap her face.
But
Mama Maggie just look at him and the rest of us with one kind stiff
joy inside her eye as if she mocking all of us with her death
victory. It's then that I grow ghost pimples. I can
feel the
loss like a knife wound and I begin to shake by fire by force.
As the men circle to lift her corpse from the ground, we see Maggie
running toward us with one small sheet of paper. She give it to her
father who read it loud for us to hear.
Tonight’s
probably the longest night I would’ve lived. The
shortest maybe. The
hardship to part with this cruel world and a known pain, is
much harder than death itself. But I must part ways regardless. I
must dance to the sweet songs that come to lull me from behind the
closed doors each
day that I'm locked in.
When
I looked at you and our beautiful daughters, All
I saw was the blessedness that we co-made. Now,
you're a mad man; an insanity that I created with my own love, and
stupidity. And so it pleases me that I can no longer go through another
day of our flavourless union together.
The
sadness of a once happy man, Indeed,
you’ve been the greatest of all gifts humanly sufficient. I
don't think that any two people could have been this happier in real
life than
we were. I know that I’ve destroyed your life, and
without me, you would've functioned much better in life— A
working man—spirit, soul and body.
But
now look at you Robinson. I
owe you all my happinesses in this life and beyond for
you’ve been very kind and patient with me, hiding
my flaws like that. Tell me what man on earth would
see his wife's shame and still protect her from societal ridicule? I
hope you can now uncage yourself and be free from these everlasting
pains I’ve caused you.
Yours
in loss, Regina.
“What's
this dad? Why did mummy leave you a suicide note? Where's she? Maggie
eyes begin to move about until it fall on her mother dead body.
“Mummy,” she halla “No!!!”
Yes,
sadness be like that—like rainwata.
It don't have
family respect or sympathy. It's just one pure wicked thing that come
to take from where it have never sow. And so our eyes fly open with
weird shock as Mama Maggie disappear into the cold hand of dead. But
she forget that suicide be like alu. A taboo. When
you break
it, somebody else will pay. But we don't know how much. And it's this
not knowing that come to tear inside us the living ones crazy. So
therefore, Papa Maggie collapse again for the ground telling him dead
wife to get up and follow him to the house, that he have forgive her
all her wrongdoing, that he'll care for her like she deserve. But
Mama Maggie only continue to laugh her silent laugh. As if happiness
is a song even the dead can sing, her eye solo it very well as the
torchlight fall on top of her face.
Don't
cry for me. It's saying now and more than what I can talk, I
just
hold her small baby for hand and cold grow all over my body like wet
grass, like her spirit itself wanting to strangle me with raw grief.
I don't know when I burst into loud crying. So this is the
journey
you been planning to take since? My whole body's now shaking
like
wet dog. My husband hold me down and pet me. But I cry more and more.
Then I go inside our house after they’ve carry her corpse away to
the mortuary. Papa Uyi and some other men have volunteer to follow
the husband. But it look to me like Papa Maggie is even more loss
than him dead wife. Meanwhile, every corner of the yard I'm still
hearing sorrowful mourning as it’s blending with my own blue devils
and disbelief. Why have she take this road to freedom
instead?
Mama Maggie!
