Discover Me?!

Omnia Adel Sayed

© Copyright 2018 by Omnia Adel SayedE

Abstract painting.

I am an ordinary person, I am just breathing like anyone on the earth, I said breathing Not living. I have some features of zombies so be afraid of me that what I said to myself and showed that to other when I am trying to protect myself from hurting again. I am a girl or female human who is always confused about everything. I am sure now that is all people who living happily they donít care about anything and can not be hurt easily like me.

Every day I am Just thinking ďAm I useful to anyone?Ē,ĒCan Anyone love me?Ē, that was just too exhausting for me so I made so many decisions after deep thinking I begin to talk to people randomly but after I choose them correctly by my eyes I am trying o figure their story by looking deep inside their eyes. I tried a lot then finally I think am capable of figure people out by deep looking to them and their eyes, Eyes just explain every think, the next time try to look deeply in someone eyes and let your heart and brain work together.

According to me their are many kinds of eyes just explain what this person pass through and I can even tell you that every human has his own type, WaitÖ. wait.ÖwaitÖon earth there are billions of human how can I manage to know all those kinds?. Itís like mathematical equations if you are an analytical person the more you add the more you got results, letís say you understand your school colleague eyes he is sad and empty of energy and your eyes of your brothers empty of energy too so you understand we are human beings have somethings in common and the kinds of those eyes represent human feelings. If you want to practice just look to yourself eyes in the mirror and try to notice your reactions in sadness, happiness, fear, when you feel blue,Ö.etc, your family and friends can show you their eyes when they feel any of these feelings.
In this turning point I begin to love myself because I can understand what people feel so I can deal with them according to that and not pushing them to do anything they donít want to do.

Donít you think that everyone need to stop and look deep inside himself or herself and look inside people you know, you meet, if someone feeling sad and itís obvious in his eyes, tell him talk to me donít go inside your shell pretending that you are alright maybe you can save someone life by making him feel he is not alone, by saving him from depression like what happened to me but I found cure by myself by turning my sadness to ways I can understand people and what happens around me and with people human mood changes a lot if we understand their feelings we will understand their acts finding sometimes excuses to them that will give us a big relief.

Donít ever judge by appearance ď appearance is always fake, believe inside someone because he canít act from insideĒ. we all once in our life deceived by appearance at least so think again when you judge by appearance.

We live once right so I am not asking you to be rigid otherwise I am asking you to be more flexible about relationships, understand human nature and all of this to live happily.

So if you knew me or saw me before just begin to discover me with your magnifying glass,understand my feelings, collect my inside image puzzle pieces to know me to all act like human beings not reboots running for their own sake no matter of what or animals like we can not understand or know each other and our needs that drive us, we are humans who should drive needs, if you ever study marketing you will found marketeers create anew need you didnít know before to become one of first priority like cell phones.

Write everyday what feel do you able to discover from anyone you met, try to tell them like your eyes reveals you are out of energy, if you want to talk I am here always to support you, at least make them feel you are care about them that will make a difference for you and them.

That kind of thinking change me again from zombie eat and sleep to human feel and act.

I have been through lot of matters I have struggled for some of them days and some other years. I didnít have friends except two friends female I considered them my friends but they didnít consider me as their friends after I knew that I am not nothing to them, I continue my life without friends not because I want that but I didnít find anyone that want true friendship, just all pretending. For love I loved someone for eight years and I thought he loved me too. We didnít met alone but his mother always told me he loved you and this all Revealed after 8 years of loving him far away love his character which I made in my mind from their talk about him. Finally I found he didnít see me at all, his mother made all this because she loved me and wanted me to be his bride. It was so selfish from his mother and he knew what his mother doing all this year and he kept silent to please his mother. I know I am so stupid how love a character with no talk, I always explained his look as he loved me, I was so young, inexperienced, all this years I found out he is every day with a girl feeling happy and I am suffering. He didnít care about someone who is truly loved him with no purpose so I barely see him once a year but the rest of the year he was beside me, talking to me, in front of me and in my dreams!! until now I am still waiting true love but not him because he is a liar, looking for outside beauty, never understand I loved him or understand and pretend not to know because I am an ordinary beauty, actually I am so pretty and I am not saying that as an arrogant person but I donít expose my body, I have a sense of humor and I can sacrifice myself for someone I love. Is that enough? To be beauty.

After that I got sick with depression, I couldnít continue after graduating a job, I saw no use to live suddenly I said enough you get more than portion of pain so I started to think different, understanding people feelings because I didnít found anyone did that for me. We all deserve more than happy life.

All of that itís my own way of thinking, maybe it will help other. For me ď changing the way of thinking like gaining a new lifeĒ

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