Discover Me?!
Omnia Adel Sayed
©
Copyright 2018 by Omnia Adel SayedE
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I
am an ordinary person, I am just breathing like anyone on the earth,
I said breathing Not living. I have some features of zombies so be
afraid of me that what I said to myself and showed that to other when
I am trying to protect myself from hurting again. I am a girl or
female human who is always confused about everything. I am sure now
that is all people who living happily they don’t care about
anything and can not be hurt easily like me.
Every
day I am Just thinking “Am I useful to anyone?”,”Can
Anyone love me?”, that was just too exhausting for me so I made
so many decisions after deep thinking I begin to talk to people
randomly but after I choose them correctly by my eyes I am trying o
figure their story by looking deep inside their eyes. I tried a lot
then finally I think am capable of figure people out by deep looking
to them and their eyes, Eyes just explain every think, the next time
try to look deeply in someone eyes and let your heart and brain work
together.
According
to me their are many kinds of eyes just explain what this person pass
through and I can even tell you that every human has his own type,
Wait…. wait.…wait…on earth there are billions of
human how can I manage to know all those kinds?. It’s like
mathematical equations if you are an analytical person the more you
add the more you got results, let’s say you understand your
school colleague eyes he is sad and empty of energy and your eyes of
your brothers empty of energy too so you understand we are human
beings have somethings in common and the kinds of those eyes
represent human feelings. If you want to practice just look to
yourself eyes in the mirror and try to notice your reactions in
sadness, happiness, fear, when you feel blue,….etc, your
family and friends can show you their eyes when they feel any of
these feelings.
In
this turning point I begin to love myself because I can understand
what people feel so I can deal with them according to that and not
pushing them to do anything they don’t want to do.
Don’t
you think that everyone need to stop and look deep inside himself or
herself and look inside people you know, you meet, if someone feeling
sad and it’s obvious in his eyes, tell him talk to me don’t
go inside your shell pretending that you are alright maybe you can
save someone life by making him feel he is not alone, by saving him
from depression like what happened to me but I found cure by myself
by turning my sadness to ways I can understand people and what
happens around me and with people human mood changes a lot if we
understand their feelings we will understand their acts finding
sometimes excuses to them that will give us a big relief.
Don’t
ever judge by appearance “ appearance is always fake, believe
inside someone because he can’t act from inside”. we all
once in our life deceived by appearance at least so think again when
you judge by appearance.
We
live once right so I am not asking you to be rigid otherwise I am
asking you to be more flexible about relationships, understand human
nature and all of this to live happily.
So
if you knew me or saw me before just begin to discover me with your
magnifying glass,understand my feelings, collect my inside image
puzzle pieces to know me to all act like human beings not reboots
running for their own sake no matter of what or animals like we can
not understand or know each other and our needs that drive us, we are
humans who should drive needs, if you ever study marketing you will
found marketeers create anew need you didn’t know before to
become one of first priority like cell phones.
Write
everyday what feel do you able to discover from anyone you met, try
to tell them like your eyes reveals you are out of energy, if you
want to talk I am here always to support you, at least make them feel
you are care about them that will make a difference for you and them.
That
kind of thinking change me again from zombie eat and sleep to human
feel and act.
I
have been through lot of matters I have struggled for some of them
days and some other years. I didn’t have friends except two
friends female I considered them my friends but they didn’t
consider me as their friends after I knew that I am not nothing to
them, I continue my life without friends not because I want that but
I didn’t find anyone that want true friendship, just all
pretending. For love I loved someone for eight years and I thought he
loved me too. We didn’t met alone but his mother always told me
he loved you and this all Revealed after 8 years of loving him far
away love his character which I made in my mind from their talk about
him. Finally I found he didn’t see me at all, his mother made
all this because she loved me and wanted me to be his bride. It was
so selfish from his mother and he knew what his mother doing all this
year and he kept silent to please his mother. I know I am so stupid
how love a character with no talk, I always explained his look as he
loved me, I was so young, inexperienced, all this years I found out
he is every day with a girl feeling happy and I am suffering. He
didn’t care about someone who is truly loved him with no
purpose so I barely see him once a year but the rest of the year he
was beside me, talking to me, in front of me and in my dreams!! until
now I am still waiting true love but not him because he is a liar,
looking for outside beauty, never understand I loved him or
understand and pretend not to know because I am an ordinary beauty,
actually I am so pretty and I am not saying that as an arrogant
person but I don’t expose my body, I have a sense of humor and
I can sacrifice myself for someone I love. Is that enough? To be
beauty.
After
that I got sick with depression, I couldn’t continue after
graduating a job, I saw no use to live suddenly I said enough you get
more than portion of pain so I started to think different,
understanding people feelings because I didn’t found anyone did
that for me. We all deserve more than happy life.
All
of that it’s my own way of thinking, maybe it will help other.
For me “ changing the way of thinking like gaining a new life”
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