Nomusa Neo Shuping--The Day My Grandmother Died

I remember sitting in the house feeling an overwhelming feeling of calm and relief, as though my life would suddenly get better. All of a sudden the sun was lighter, my emotions were brighter, there was a certain peace and certainty that my life would get better.

I tell my fiance, "You know, I have this feeling that my life is gonna improve. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like a weight has been lifted over my shoulders.”

He didn’t understand this and neither did I and then a suddenly a call comes in and I’m told my grandmother who is on the other side of the country, has passed away.

I don’t even understand how I had felt so good the week of her death until I met a prophet who explained it all.

You see, my grandmother was a traditional healer. She could see into the future, analyse dreams, heal with herbs and different remedies, she could pray for someone to life and was gifted in everyway.

She had a beautiful gift of healing and when she died, that gift was officially passed down to me.

I had for many years believed she was a bad person but later did I realise she was misunderstood. During that week, I knew that my life going upside down was going to become better but little did I know, it was gonna be bad before it got good.

Nobody tells you how a spiritual awakening comes and what emotions it brings, the crying, the loss, the pain, the feeling like the world is crumbling down and that nobody understands.

I went through it, firstly losing my job, the one thing that gave me life and fueled my desire to live. I I began losing the relationship, the lie, the life that I had invisioned to be true.

As a child, you live a life and make plans and when those plans come crumbling down, you ask yourself what you did wrong.

I started to wonder what I had done wrong to be losing everything in my early 30’s, that I tried so hard to fight for.

As time passed, the dreams started coming in with dreams of old people standing in front of me, dreams of me asking them what they wanted.

I could not take it anymore and started to stay awake for as long as I could.

As these escalated, it moved onto me dreaming of things that were happening in real time.

I told my fiance, hey, you know I dreamt of a house burning and when he went home that weekend, the electrical appliances were damaged and the entire house needed to be rewired.

I also dreamt of him getting a job he now works at.

It became so real and I kept getting goosebumps but the praying worked, it helped manage the gift.

As soon as it escalated, I knew there was something there. There was a gift that needed to be nurtured in me.

Soon after going to church, I went to Sangoma training, where they nurtured my ancestral calling. I soon was able to prophet people and this was a beautiful experience.

People would ask, how do you see things? How do you see into people’s futures? Can you read my mind? But that too was something I couldn’t answer because it is a gift from God and from my ancestors.

Sometimes I do see dead people and many times they speak to me and through me but other times, I see pictures of what they want me to deliver.

At the end of the day I realised I was a mere messenger. I do not have any powers apart from God and my ancestors.

I too realised that my grandmother had passed on the beautiful gift to me. Luckily no one is afraid of me, actually, people are amazed by how deeply I connect with the dead and even how far back I can go spiritually.

Yes, I am a gifted child and both these gifts I have nurtured because I am aware that for months on end, I had lost everything to gain something better.

I had lost a part of myself, the old self, to get something that was bigger, better, more profound, something that helps people.

I use this gift to enlighten people and show them the way.

One day, I would like to take this gift to the world but for now, it’s my personal space to help those near me, those are able to see me and connect with me.

You realise that sometimes, a failure is not a failure but an opportunity to win something better.

With that said, I also realise that a death is not a death but a rebirth. My grandmother still lives and she lives inside of me, nurturing me, giving me light, helping me in everyway, always so present around me.

I would hope that when something goes wrong in their lives, they remember that there is certainly a rainbow on the other side and it shines oh so brightly.