Discovering My Soul
Nahida Jaman
©
Copyright 2022 by Nahida Jaman
|
Image
by Gerd
Altmann from Pixabay |
As a
kid I had many queries in my mind.My small brain could not get many
simple things back then.Amdist these thoughts,one was "who am
I"? I knew that body was mine,but it all were a part of mine.My
hand,my leg, my eyes, my
face and so on.I
used to think a lot if these are my parts,then what is me? When I
could not figure out I asked my mother about that. She told
me -"
You are the one who is living within this body,you are the soul".Her
statement made my little brain dizzy, I asked her,"
But mom how come I never feel or see me?" She smiled and said "
Well,you’ll get to know
someday and
you will get to know that many times in your life. That's when you’ll
understand that you have a soul,a life,you have yourself". To
tell the truth,I could not get her point until my fifteen age.That
was a day when I truly could feel myself.
That
was the time me and my full family went to our grandpa's home to
spend our vacation. As having a very strict family, I never had gone
to any trip except the mandatory school trips
and
family tours.I hardly had any trip back then.So when I was
fifteen and we all went to our grandparents home I got a chance.My
grandparents from my dad side lived in a home in
a
suburban area. But my grandparents from my mother side lived in a
village surrounded by a river.Somehow, I and my two other siblings
managed to take my dad's permission to go in my grandparents village
by ourselves,without our
parents. My uncle
came for taking us at the village. When we reached,
it was almost night. To reach there we had to travel by Engine-boat
to cross the river.The river name is "Meghna" and this is
the second largest river of our country. It was fun. I sat under the
awning with my sister who is one and half years younger than me.My
uncle and my elder brother who is two years older than me sat on the
roof of the boat.We travelled for 12 minutes.Then we had to walk four
kilometres to reach my grandparents home.Everyone was very happy
seeing us.My other cousins
were also
there.Among them some lived there and some came from other cities.We
chatted for some time and after taking the dinner we went for
sleeping.At village all the people woke up at dawn.There were so much
noise so we also had to get up very early. After taking the breakfast
we all cousins planned to go somewhere by the boat.So we planned and
collected money from each one's savings.But
it was restricted for whom who was below twelve that time and who
didn’t know how to swim as it could be risky anytime. Luckily I
knew how to swim.My elder brother was the manager for this tour.Me,my
sister and brother,my two cousin- Niloy and Shanta who lived at the
village and my two other cousin- Nahin and Sijan, we seven people
went there.We took permission from our grandpa.But we lied.We did not
say them our purpose. We said well all would go to one of our aunt's
home.Back then there was no electricity
or
mobile phone available at that village so we thought they would not
know about our plan.The first thing we
needed to do was hire a boatman with his boat for the whole day.But
as the teenage we had not sufficient money. So we had to hire a
boatman who was only fourteen years old and he had to drive the boat
by himself with the help of a kyak.We hired him for the whole day
only by 400 TK.It was a really sunny day.We started our journey
around at 9 in the morning.We had some doubt about the boatman due to
his age,but it turned out he's very expert on this.I asked out of my
curiosity how he was doing so well.He replied, "I've been in
this occupation since I'm 9,it's been almost 5 years". I
understood why he was so good. The boatman name was " Bablu".He
worked to support his family financially. The boat was very small,it
made of only wood.It was maximum six or seven feet in length. We were
8 people including Bablu on that boat.It was the end of rainy season.
There were water everywhere. Our boat was passing to
the front among the Hyacinths.I saw many child,adults
were
collecting these Hyacinth. Some were collecting from small boats,
some were even collecting by swimming.
After some minutes,Bablu turned the boat left.All of us were
surprisingly watching the environments.When we went more distances
the hyacinth were not there.Bablu told that in the deep water we
could find less Hyacinthe.He also asked us whether we wanted to
collect some water Lily. We all agreed excitedly. Then he turned the
boat at right and started
driving. My elder
brother helped Bablu to drive the boat.Though
at
first he could not make it but after some trying and with the help of
Bablu's direction he learned.It took almost twenty minutes to reach
that portion of the river where the first time I found myself.I don't
think, now I can express
that beautiful
scenario by words.Words are really insufficient to express that
beauty.Above our head the sun was brighting so much in the deep blue
colour sky.And down there,there were fresh water everywhere.The water
was so crystal clear that we could see our reflection clearly. Not
only just our reflection, we could see clearly everything in that
water.The depth of this portion was not so much.It might be 15 feet
deep only so we could see all the fishes, waterplants and even the
surface.And there were many water Lily on the water.Even these were
of many colours.White,Sky Blue,
Pink,Baby
Pink,Red
and so
on.All of our mouths were open with the wonder.How could something
this beautiful have on this earth! Bablu might be understand our
situation. So he told us that if we want then he could drive the boat
more closer so that we could collect some Lily.We all agreed on
this.But that time something happened .When we all hurriedly tried to
pluck these Lily, at one side the weight of us became more, so
naturally my sister and Shanta had fallen down in water. It was so
sudden that we could not safe them from falling. Ofcourse we should
have careful about the Physics. But luckily they both knew swimming.
We all helped them to back on the boat. Then we plucked a lot of
flowers but this time carefully. But as there is a saying excitement
may brings embarrassment sometimes, that happened with my cousin
Nahin.He wanted to collect a red Lily which was far from our
reach.But he tried to collect it,he hold the kyak and tried to
collect the flower.All on a sudden his pant torned because of the
sharp edge of the boat.We all were paused for almost 20
seconds,then our laughter was so loud I think even the microphone
could not make that much sound.What was that! I'm still laughing when
writing this part.It was so hilarious and as you all can understand
Nahin's situation was so bad.That might be the last thing on this
earth the would have expected. He was hiding this torned pants as
well as the face.Luckily we all brought
extra clothes with us.But how would he changed? Because we girls were
there.Bablu had a lungi,Lungi
is a
traditional dress of our country for men.It's like female long
skirt.So by using Bablu's lungi he changed.We all really laughed that
time. Bablu from that moment became more open with us.We wanted to
eat and swim.We brought some dry foods with us.So we told Bablu to
stop the boat at any riverside.But he told us that if we wanted then
he could take us a place,where we can do some fun activities. So we
agreed.Then Bablu took us to a village. Right now I can't remember
it's name. It was his Aunt's village. He called her "Maksuda
khala". We also did the same.When we reached that village,we
got off from the boat and started walking with our belongings.That
was a small village.At first we walked through the bazar, then we had
to pass some lands.The path was between the lands.Farmers were
working there and the path was so narrow that made our journey
difficult. We were walking among the mustered and paddy field.The
road might not be comfortable but the scenario, it was so celestial.
As far as we can see there were only green and green.It felt like we
were walking through the green world.After walking for one and half
hours with the sun directly above us finally we reached at a village
but his aunt lived little
bit away from
there.Then we walked within people’s yard, everyone was
watching at us.Bablu greeted some people and talked with
some.Everyone was asking about us.He told everyone that we were his
friends.I could clearly see he was happy by calling us his friends.
Then we reached a place where was a bridge. But that bridge made of
only by two bamboo tightening together. We all was afraid to pass
this but Bablu helped us.We passed that by anyhow. Then after 5
minutes walking we finally reached at Maksuda khala's home.She was so
happy seeing Bablu. I could see her authentic happiness in her
eyes.Then Bablu introduced us as his friends.She welcomed us at her
house.Her home was so tiny.It only had two room.One for living and
other for eating. The second one was more narrow.The
kitchen and bathroom were a little bit away from the house.The
house was made by hays,straws and bamboos. And as furniture it only
had a bamboo bed and two
drums.She gave us
a mat to sit at the floor.They were so poor.At first we all felt
awkward. Bablu introduced us to his three cousins Mintu,Shirin and
Sharmin. Shirin was 12 years old,Sharmin 9 and Mintu was 7.Mintu was
very talkative that made us feel comfortable at their home.Then we
went to swim.We divided ourselves in two parts- boys and
girls.Shirin,Sharmin,my cousin Shanta,my sister and I went at a
specific riverside and the boys went in
other's.We
swam there.Shirin was the best swimmer. There was also Lily,we
plucked some.Then Shirin and Sharmin taught us how to make bracelet,
necklace from the stem of Lily. We also made some.Then we went
back.The boys were already there.It seemd like they catch many fresh
fishes.They handover the fishes to Maksuda khala and we handover our
flowers.As Sharmin said her mother can make a very tasty dish of
Lily.Then Bablu took us to a field. It was huge.There were many
people. We wondered what they were doing.Then Bablu told us there is
a competition among the farmers today.It called "kabadi".
Then we watched that competition. The right side team won.The captain
of that team was Maksuda
khala's husband.
Then he received some money from the village leader.Then we got back
together. When we came back to Khala's home it was almost 2 pm.Khala
cooked many dishes for us.Fresh Fish curry,Mashed steamed Lily,Mashed
spicy dry fish,Fresh curry, goose
and so
on.I wondered how she alone managed to cook all these.So I asked
her.She replied she was
not alone.Some
neighbours helped her.Among them I rememberd Jashima and Hasina khala
and Akhi apu.All of them treated us as we were their relatives.They
cooked for us at the yarthen stove.And just believe me you never
gonna taste anything tastier than these dishes.We all ate together.
Of course not at her home.We all were eating at their huge
yard.Jashima and Hasina khala helped Maksuda khala to feed us.Then we
chatted a lot.Me with other girls went to Akhi apu's home.She showed
us her talent.She made many gorgeous blanket. She's a very good
designer. I wondered from where she learned all of these.We also saw
the well from where everyone's took water to drink.It was really
deep.When we were returning back Jashima khala gave us a lot of
handmade cakes.We were seriously amazed by their
hospitality.They all were
illiterate but
had a very kind heart. My brother tried to give some money to Maksuda
khala. But she refused and said "Bablu is like my own child.His
friends are also like my kids.Have you ever heard of any mother who
takes money from their kid?" My brother felt guilty. So he said
sorry to her.But we gave all of ours dryfood to her childs as the
siblings. They accepted happily. I could feel that they might be poor
but their self dignity and kindness were much more than we possessed.
The goose we ate was
their domestic one.It
laid eggs and she used to sell these eggs to meet her family
needs.But she cooked that only for us without expecting
anything. When we were returning, all of theme came to the bridge to
say us goodbye. Mintu literally cried.I could feel my own tears.Then
we returned to our boat.We all were silenced.Maksuda khala's husband
was carrying all of our belongings until we arrived the boat.Then he
said goodbye and we also greeted him.Bablu started the boat.He was
driving faster.We all were quiet.Nobody wanted to speak or make a
single sound.Bablu started singing loudly. He really had a great
voice. We could feel his melody. The sun started setting down.The
colour of water also changed. There were no sound except the water
and Bablu.When we reached at our grandparents village I felt like I
would cry.My brother gave Bablu the money but he did not take
this.Instead he said, "I don't take fare from my friends. Just
remember me". Then he smiled. That time was the evening, there
was not much light then.Still I could see he was crying silently.
Maybe he did not want us to watch his crying. So he hurriedly went
back to the river.A beautiful butterfly was flying there.And Bablu
disappeared slowly. I don’t know why we all felt so sad that
time,before that day we did not even know about their existance. But
the worst was yet to come.When we returned our grandparents
home,there was a crowd. My parents came there and from other cousin
they got to know that we lied and they searched us everywhere this
whole day but could not find us.They thought we were in some danger.I
don't want to write the rest scenario as all of you can imagine what
had happened then.
It's
been almost 8 years of that day.I'm 23 now.After that day, I went to
many other trips but to tell the truth I never enjoyed these as much
as that day.I can guarantee my siblings and cousins also not get more
enjoyment than that day.Sometimes I wonder how are Maksuda
khala,Jashima and Hasina khala. How are Shirin, Sharmin, Mintu, their
father,Akhi apu! How is Bablu now.I've heard at their village there
is electricity now.Mintu must have become a big boy now. Will he
remeber us?Shirin and Sharmin might be got married. Are they changed?
Sometimes I feel like going there but I don’t wanna go.Maybe
everything has changed now.Maybe Maksuda khala will not treat us like
before.Maybe my opinion,my memories will be changed and I don’t
think I want to change this. I've heard Bablu went abroad as a driver
to earn more money.I wonder if he is like before! The simple and the
happiest person I've ever seen. Does he sing now? Or he just becomes
like rest of us.However, I never can forget that day.Never can forget
the moment when I could feel me, my soul for the first time.Never can
foget these kind people. Sometimes I feel sad as we do not have any
picture of these moments. But to tell the truth I think this makes
the moment more crucial. Whenever I feel depression, I loss my
interest from living, I loss on something, I just close my eyes and
can see these precious moments and can hear Bablu's melodious voice,his
singing -" everyone says the river is the disastrous
but they could not see it's love as I do.That's why I always adrift
me to this,this river is my love,it's my life and our souls are
connected with each other.I wanna live with it I wanna die with it".
I neven can't forget these lyrics of his song.That was the day I
really could discover myself.
Nahida Jaman is a 23 years old University student.She always loves to
write but never got motivated before to
take part in any writing contest. After seeing this contest, she gets
the motivation to write.Nahida is a very positive minded person.She
loves spending time with nature.She also loves to read.Her favourite
genre is "Thriller". But in real life she's very much
practical.
(Unless
you
type
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author's name
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of the message
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