When in doubt, I go without. That has been my motto and it’s not always easy. Six years ago, I gained too many pounds and my clothes no longer fit, and I didn’t want to buy new ones. Then I became adamant about staying slim and not gaining weight, but I hated worrying about calories and extra carbohydrates. Everyone talks about thinking positive but I am a contrarian thinker. I made up a unique approach, while still enjoying my snacks and high calorie foods. My plan doesn’t care about nutritious foods like broccoli and cauliflower (ugh) and overly healthy stuff. I rebel against traditional diets which tell us what to eat and not eat, rather than concentrate on how, when and where to eat. I had been thin most of my seven decades, but then I was more than ten pounds over. I’d never take advice from a skinny chef, but instead listened to a dietician and my inner slender self. After running treadmills twice a week for four years, I lost only a couple pounds and worked out strenuously. The treadmill was like a metaphor for my life, going nowhere. Then, I changed my habits in five ways---

At the table--- When I sit on comfy chairs, I am so relaxed I stay longer and eat more. Comfy chairs are is a great way to gain or maintain weight. I changed to wood chairs, not too comfortable but not uncomfortable either. I tried high stools that were either too high or low, so I had to reach to the table, and didn’t care about comfort or looking classy. I stashed my larger plates and used smaller ones, just enough for an entrée and two junior sides. To eat less, I cut my meat into tiny pieces, even sandwiches and veggies. Easier eating, faster going down, and less work for my broken teeth, though tiny bits are less flavorful. I told my dentist and she approved. When guests arrived, I pulled out my nice chairs, and told them my stool has much sentimental value and a treasured family heirloom. They thought I was weird but loved my endearing family values.

Where to eat—is important. While sitting outside in drizzling rain, walking through parking lots, and in my car were go-to choices six years ago. At work, I ate in the hall, or on the curb if I was outside. A truly awful place was standing outside the gates at LAX or O’Hare sucking in smoggy exhaust fumes. Some stupid places I tried, or wanted to, were while trotting on a horse, skiing downhill in deep powder, and riding in a Lamborghini. I know a very fat friend who eats in the tub. One time at someone’s house, my host was amazed when I didn’t finish supper, so I said that I always dump great food. It’s lousy food that I eat. She liked my sarcasm, and never invited me over again. I also mentioned I was allergic to her draperies.

Eat slowly, very slow. Most people swallow everything quickly—men are infamous for that. My goal was to eat so slowly that I stop altogether. To do this, I distracted myself from finishing by seeking fun diversions in another room. YouTube, e-mail, movie trailers, TV, etc. took my mind away from eating and drinking. Radios are great meal disruptors. When I returned, the meat was cold, soda was flat and salads looked limp. If I was still hungry, I’d eat beef/turkey sticks, hot sport peppers or Italian/Greek pepperoncinis. I popped a few in my mouth, and lost all my taste for eating. Anything that shocks the tongue and makes me gulp a pint of water is a food friend. A good between meal snack is a hot pepper and a Dr Pepper. The cheapest doctor in town. But watch out! Once I consumed a whole bottle and had to take Pepto Abysmal.

Time of day is crucial for losing pounds. I never eat when I am bored or restless because that would be every day. Likewise, I avoid eating when I am angry, depressed, or going to sleep. No late night carbos. The best time is when I am starving and cannot wait another minute, and then only enough to satisfy me, not all filled up—and it works! I designated three times a day for meals (though I used to forego breakfast), and if I miss that time, I skipped it and waited for the next meal. My plan was coffee and juice in the morning, then leave the house at 11:00 for errands or shopping, and returned home about 2:00 or later. Lunch time was over, so then I waited until dinner, and meanwhile nibbled on peanut butter from the jar. Then repeated this at dinner time. Left home about 4:30 and returned at 7:00 after dinner hour. While I was out, I detoured away from fast food places like Arby’s, Seven-Eleven, and drive-thrus. Back in the day, I puffed on a long cigar before meals. The tobacco killed my taste buds for a while, but obviously, it’s not a terrific habit to continue, and places to smoke are scarce. (The cheap packaged cigars are mostly paper.)

Restaurants. Eating out is often tricky for dieters. It is too chancy, so I played it safe. I browsed the menu carefully, and considered all the choices like horse racing odds. I’m a cautious racing fan, very conservative. Some meals are laggers and others seem overpriced or very expensive. The chef specializes in only a few probably, and the rest might be mediocre or not to my liking. Waiters cannot be trusted for advice because they are biased and have sworn to defend the cooking. Ever hear a server say something is terrible or lousy? They can’t do that. I surmised that the meatloaf was a 4-1 shot of being a winner, the tilapia 3-1 shot and the pasta dish was 2-1. To me, these are probable facts. It means that I will enjoy it once every three times and get my money’s worth, but of course there is no payoff. The basic hamburger is, at best, even money, and that’s the Favorite at good diners. I bet to win, though I was satisfied with a Place or Show, and never Also-Rans. The same is true for appetizers, desserts and beverages—the pricey high profit items in restaurants. Who knows the odds for coffee? To me, about 5-1 because I like it strong but Starbucks’ chances are lower. I jotted down these wagers on the napkin, you know, like a Racing Form. The pinnacle of dieting success was when I read the entire menu and found nothing I cared to order. When very hungry, I chose a steak the size of six decks of cards with 1-2 odds, and if it looks really good, I might wear dark sunglasses inside. But there are no Sure Things in food wagering. I refused the cooked vegetables and saved room for strawberry shortcake. Servers do not appreciate guests who ask for potato chips and a glass of water and crackers. Nice restaurants were a challenge, and sometimes I regret my cautious ways. On the way home, I gobbled oat-honey bars. I forgot the extra calories and remembered its great taste. I also know my best odds for purchasing stuff at different stores. With the money I saved, I ate a whole lemon meringue pie, piece by piece.

Contrary to my doctors, I stopped taking regular walks, working out at the gym, and exercising at home. So boring! Overrated. As a contrarian, I ignored this well-meaning admonition and took lots of naps instead. Anyway, exercise only increased my hunger and gave me less energy, not more. Sure, I felt virtuous working out, but I learned people lose only about 3% of their weight.

I mustered the will power and lost ten pounds-- now I eat what I like and like what I eat. And when in doubt (or even if I’m not) I go without.