The Game of Fate Mahi M. Al-Khatib   © Copyright 2022 by Mahi M. Al-Khatib

Photo courtesy of the author.

Here I am writing to you a story that expresses a part of what I am experiencing and facing in my life in the hope that I will return to this, the course of my life has changed, and I read it with happiness, proud of myself for my patience and willpower, which we must have to live every day with gratitude and calm ourself.
 
I am a 26-years old girl who graduated from the Faculty of media hoping to make of myself what I aspired to, but between the war that my country suffered and the circumstances of my family, which for me was another war in front of my eyes, I stood in surrender to what is happening.
 
The suffering started from my father, who abandoned us and wanted us to be on the street to sell the house we are sheltering in, and here the rift began in this family, my sisters are traveling outside the country and we have no one to help us, even relatives were on the side of injustice, standing up and advocating, and my mother and I started the journey of struggle and trying to live after everyone abandoned me and I worked in several places to help my mother, meanwhile my father came out of the house and stayed away from us for several years and divorced my mother and went about his life without asking about his family.

The years passed and I decided to travel, I chose strangeness to stand on my feet and rely on myself and be a support for my mother, who was with me all my moments, but fate intervened and I learned that my father had several diseases when he was a 71 years old, I was stunned and I know that no one has him at home and he is now unable to do himself because of the illness that I strain a lot and here the loss between myself and her goal and my father, who was never by my side and he needs help now.

I had to think for two days and I said to myself, he was not by my side as a father and I was never by his side as a daughter, but the mercy I did not miss and my conscience in leaving a man with my name on his name did not allow me to ignore this and travel, so I decided to go to him and here the journey of fatigue and waiting began.

We were in a spiral of diseases related to the kidneys, heart, diabetes, pressure, and everything we go to a new doctor tells us about his bad situation, I was weak to the point of crying on a daily basis for everything I was going through, I had to give him medicine and insulin needles and others, and I myself was afraid of these, but I overcame my fear and even my mother was preparing food to take him to him, what sympathy and forgiveness our heart carried to a man who never had mercy on us.

For five months I was going to him every day without a break between fatigue and crying, between fear and hope of recovery, even though all the doctors told me that his body was exhausted, the diseases had spread and his days were numbered, I was looking at him every day, I remember him with his strength and youth and today he is sitting in bed, he can not do alone or walk until dementia began in his memory, no no, despite all that I have suffered from him, but I don't want him in this picture, I don't want to see him in this weakness, my heart breaks for him, but my hope for his recovery was stronger, he was there's a voice inside me telling me it's going to be better.

Every day when I went to the hospital, I found the patients in front of me and counted the blessings that I was in and I didn't feel them, sadness was flooding my heart with the pains of the patients and I couldn't hold back my tears that were being revealed to me in front of them, God was with them and with me, yes, God was with me and with every person who takes care of a patient, there is an old saying that the one who takes care of the patient is sicker than him, imagine to this extent, yes to this and more.

The days passed, and thank God he began to improve, he went to the bathroom alone, ate alone, and sat in front of the house in the morning to get fresh air and The Sun that gives hope and energy to a new day, I felt that I had a chance to live harnessed by God, I was tired, but I was tired in front of his recovery, my soul is happy that he is now in better shape, Oh my god, how can the days go by and we live in fear of Tomorrow, which is the opposite of our fears, how can it possess us and we do not understand anything in front of fate and the science of the unseen.

Forgiveness can be difficult, but one day it will be, I am sure that time will be enough to make our days easier and our feelings are at peace and safe.

Today I began to return to fulfill my dream of traveling, and I have overcome difficult stages of my life and have shouldered responsibilities that have burdened me, but I hope that the impossible will happen, I made a vow not to talk to my father one day and the day came when I was with him and next to him, please let forgiveness and mercy overwhelm everything in your heart and remember that what you sow today you will reap tomorrow.

I hope that in my travel and my beginning this is not another game of fate that turns the scales of my life and changes the course that I was planning, and I will return to you with a more beautiful story that inspires hope in us, and carries in its folds the happiness and patience that I used to have in my life.

Please wish me that I can achieve my dream and achieve the dream of my mother, for whom I live and continue in this life.