Diaries of Bright Treasure Lauren Minju Shin   © Copyright 2023 by Lauren Minju Shin

Photo by Zoran Borojevic on Unsplash

8/21/2012:
Today I cry at erport
bcus I sed bye to my granperents
granpa did not saw me because granpa goed to the bathroom

And that’s how my first ever diary entry began at the age of five.

Ten months after I was born, my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. My father was away due to a temporary change in station for the military, so with no one home to raise me, I grew up with my grandparents in South Korea.

Having no siblings or pets or friends my age, my grandpa became my best friend. We went hiking every morning. We danced in the living room. We sang Korean folk songs. I would hold his hand as we walked to the street market and he would buy me 호떡, a sweet and chewy pancake dessert filled with honey inside. We would take afternoon naps in front of the TV. Sometimes, I would just stare at him until he made a silly face and we would break out in laughter. As soon as my health enthusiast grandmother left the house on an errand, my grandpa and I would rush to our familiar positions to cook up the tastiest and unhealthiest bowl of kimchi fried rice. My grandpa was my buddy, my partner in crime, and my father figure.

Most importantly, he was my inspiration.

Having been raised by two sets of grandparents who still believe in the Confucian principles and the miracles of tiger balm, I've been told all my life that I should become a doctor. But my grandpa always dreamed of greater happiness for me. Even now, he reminds me every single week when I call him: "Minju, my bright treasure, you can be anything you want to be. Your grandaddy is always on your side. Don’t let anyone define who you are."

Growing up, I witnessed him rise at 6AM each morning to watch SBS Morning Wide News. The way he dedicated his undivided attention to these news reporters made me admire their importance, and I knew, as a young girl, that I want to be someone people eagerly listen to. I want to be someone people turn to for information. I want to be someone people like my grandpa can count on each morning.

He is also the reason I came to foster a passion for writing. A few years after my mother had won her long battle against cancer, I was taken to the airport to return to the United States and live with my parents. Coming home wasn’t the heartwarming experience my parents must have imagined, though. At this point, I’d spent roughly 5 out of my 6 years living with my grandparents and barely recognized these strangers that appeared one day to take me away from my grandpa. Initially, I shut everything and everyone out and only began writing to my grandpa in a small notebook. I became very shy and introverted, much different from the energetic girl who used to dance and sing with her grandpa. But over time, I found that writing allowed me to grow. My diary became a safe space for me to share my innermost feelings and discover what type of person I want to be. It’s also my personal way of connecting with my grandpa, even if he lives halfway across the world.

Now, I think of my grandpa at school before third period as I prepare to go live for morning announcements. I think of his bright smile and the kind wrinkles around his eyes, as I write a new article for the school newspaper. I am reminded of our mischievous pranks and inner jokes, as I read news articles about the elderly during my internship at AsAmNews. I recall the sweet memories of our lazy afternoons under the sun, as I open my diary every night before bed.

My grandfather and this one small notebook has shaped me into the outgoing, expressive, open-minded, and independent individual that I am today.