Life After Trauma Kelly Maida   © Copyright 2019 by Kelly Maida

There were so many days that I felt like giving up but I kept fighting. The more I kept fighting I noticed how much easier each day gets.

Life after trauma is difficult to explain if you have never been through it. As someone that has experienced trauma it feels as though the most difficult part is after it happens. That is when our body is on high alert and waiting for the next attack. Our anxiety and depression are high as well as anger. In time it fades but then there are times it comes back. The being on high alert does not go away but it lessens at times. It has been two years for me and you will notice after time you are one of the strongest most courageous people that exists. We fought for our lives, we fought to survive. We kept going and facing our attacker in courts. Even after several attempts of my attacker saying he would finish the job, I moved away and found a safe place to live. I kept fighting. I went to counseling to address the ptsd and anxiety and nightmares! I kept fighting! The counseling was not enough, I had to workout, and do meditations and yoga. I moved from one state to another for my life and safety and I left everything behind! And guess what? I kept fighting! I had nowhere to live at first I had to start all over again with nothing, no job or furniture. I literally just left with my clothes and my two cats! But I kept fighting. I had to stay with family for a few months. And look for my own place and to find work again. The whole time my anxiety, ptsd were high because this was all new to me. But you know what? I kept fighting! My ex that almost killed me somehow contacted me even though I had a no contact order and tried to scare and intimate me again. You know what? I kept fighting. I turned him in again to the police. I am writing this to tell you if you are going through a struggle to never give up fighting for you, fighting for yourself and your rights! I used to think I was weak because of how my ex had attacked me. In the end I realized all of this strength I have that I ever knew I had. No matter what happens I kept fighting for myself. I lost contact with my friends when I moved five years ago and went through this experience alone, but I never gave up on myself. And it only made me stronger than ever. Realizing I never needed anyone, I only needed me. I know do not ask for others opinion, I just go by what I feel. I listen to my instincts now. To anyone that is struggling and on hard times! Keep fighting! It will get better! You will get better. And it will all be worth it in the end.