The Black Sheep of the Family Walks Away Kelly Maida   © Copyright 2022 by Kelly Maida

Photo of the author.

The black sheep of the family! I’m back and I have something to say.

One day I woke up. And something felt wrong. Everyone at once was gone. But I should of known better. They were all fair weathered. The way they all pointed their fingers at me. Because I am the black sheep of the family. Beaten into submission when I was kid, Family members never even said sorry for the things they did. But shhh we are not supposed to talk about that. Pretending they changed. But what is up with that? Every time I try to talk about something even if it was yesterday, they say we are not supposed to talk about the past. That is all they have to say as they turn and walk the other way. Over the years I tried several times to talk to them and when I asked what was wrong? Everyone sang the same song. It is like they all rehearsed this. And they tried to reverse this. Pointing the fingers at me. Acting like they had the right. To act anyway that they want. I went around them in the past even when I didn’t want too. Being around them would literally give me panic attacks because some of them always yelled and screamed but this is all they know but for everyone else they put on this show. But just ask the neighbors they call one of them the devil because they hear it all. So, they all started fishing for excuses. Casting out a web. And in it was double standards. Over the summer when I was sick and I was supposed to get surgery.  A so-called family member was going to give me a ride. But then they decided to hide. And then uninvited me from things. Saying weird and strange things. Ignoring me and saying hey, remember that day that you didn’t show up to that one even? Now we are all mad at you. But other family members didn’t go. I am held to greater expectations. Why is that? Just stay mad and draw your lines in the sand. And please don’t try to come back. Just remember how you all turned your backs. Because I will always remember that. Not just once but over and over for my whole life. I feel like I always have to defend myself. And always trying to set the record straight. Just letting it be known that No-one was there for me when I was down. So do not try to come back into my life now that things are starting to turn around. I am tired of being told how to feel and what to say. Oh, look at her! Why is she acting that way?  Always being told how to act. Because I am always under attack.