Break the Silence

Kelly Maida

Copyright 2021 by Kelly Maida

Photo of sign.

Scattered visions near the clock.   It's 2 am.  Disturbing noises on the other side of the wall! It woke me up!

I thought I heard someone get hit! I thought I heard someone fall! Then I heard him in a loud voice. 

With his deep rooted illusions. Growing out from underneath him. Like roots from a tree. He stood their firmly planted. Upset because he is who he wants to be. He wears a mask! And he takes it out on the painted ladies around him! When will they break the silence on being hit with domestic violence?   

I feel this issue of domestic violence is  around me still. It is next to me and wakes me up at night. I hear neighbor's suffering from this. I know what it is like to suffer from domestic violence because I am a survivor of it.  I know what it is like to feel all alone when you are going through such a terrifying experience. And if anyone that reads this, is currently going through this. Please know that you are not alone. If you have not been through this then you may not understand at all what it is like. I have been told by so many people in the past well that happened a few years ago just get over it. Well tell my Post traumatic stress that! Tell that to the nightmares that I have. No-one understands the repercussions of their actions! If you do not have a wound that is visible then people just cannot comprehend what you are going through. Not all wounds are visible. Not all disabilities are visible. But that does not make them any less significant.  It is really sad how society treats this topic. I know because I have been through it. And I sympathize with anyone that not only went through this or is suffering any kind of mental illness. For the longest time I was afraid to speak out but I felt that I had too! Not just for me but for others! I used to feel guilty and shame because of the violence that I had been through. Until one day I just looked at it in a different way. I am not the one that beat myself up! I refuse to take on any guilt or shame for what someone else did to me. I have nothing to feel guilty about. I wish the court systems knew of what domestic violence and other victims have gone through and maybe they would look at the laws a little differently. If they knew of the mental health conditions that we suffer from and what we are going through and how drastically our lives have changed. Maybe they would feel differently. 

And I feel like not only do I relive it sometimes due to ptsd but I also relive it when I hear my neighbors yelling and screaming. I have heard them hit each other. And when I informed my landlord he did nothing to fix the situation. Not only does the justice system fail us even people around us do as well. I felt really let down that my landlord did not stick up for me. And if you just stand by and let it happen and you are aware of it then you are guilty too! Because this is not normal! No one should live in fear. Everyone has the right to enjoy peace and comfort in their home! Because the neighbors were so loud the police finally did get involved however if the victim does not want to make a report then their is nothing they can do. So the abuser continues to attack!

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