The day in which you discover that you are carrying one of God's miracles can mean so much to so many.  The day that I found out that I was pregnant with baby number 5 I had so many emotions going through me.  I went from being utterly surprised, to happy, to anxious, and to scared.  I was scared since it had only been 6 months since I gave birth to identical twin girls, Katelyn Kay 3lb. 10oz and Kaydence Elaine 3lb. 8oz.  I was so unsure how I could possibly have another baby after giving birth to a preemie that would have to stay in the NICU for 3 weeks and having to bury my precious Angel Kaydence instead of being able to cuddle and nurture her.  During those 6 months I had pleaded, asked, and screamed at God to give me the answer for taking my precious baby from me.  At that point I looked at my newly pregnant body and thought, was this God's master plan, that I am suppose to bring another life into this world?  Is this why he took Kaydence from us, was their another baby that needed us more than she did?

If that was the case we took God's plan and challenge for us to bring another beautiful life into our lives.  Not knowing for sure during the pregnancy of our other children until the day they arrived, Andy and I were determined to find out the gender of baby #5, so Andy and I set off for day on a nice October morning to Columbus to have a 4-D ultrasound done.  After already having 4 girls our hopes were that this little miracle would be our son.  Words can not describe the car ride home from Columbus that day as we were both beaming from ear to ear that we would soon be the proud parents of our first and only son Andrew James Knippen.  We both wanted out son to have a meaningful Bible name so we chose Andrew after daddy and James after his uncle Richard James.  What a special boy with a truly special name!

So for an ENTIRE nine months we would prepare...we prepared ourselves for another baby, we prepared a safe home for our new baby, we prepared our little girls on how to safely and lovingly care for the new baby, I prepared my body for the nutrition and nurturing our unborn child would need to come into this world healthy and ready.  I even prepared myself emotionally for the "what ifs" of possibly not bring home our baby, like we had to do once before with no preparation and what seemed like so much time...a whole 9 months, that seemed like a lifetime until I would get to hold my son in my arms for the first time.

The 9 months later...finally on January 20th, 2008 at 4am Andrew James was born looking just like his handsome daddy...what a feeling of pure joy and happiness to finally hold this precious/healthy baby boy in my arms.  He melted my heart at first sight, never did I have a feeling like this before in my life...my son, my son!  What a joy those words were to say!

With time always playing a role in this life and everyone looking at time differently I looked at Drew as the a 4 1/2 year old boy that seemed to grow up so fast.  4 years flew by, from holding that 7lb. 4oz baby in my arms the day he was born to listening to him tell stories, giggle, laugh, play, cuddle with mama at bedtime, to learning to ride his bike, and helping dad and grandpa farm...where did the time go?  My lil man was growing up so fast and healthy, who would have thought that time...30 seconds would change my life forever.  30 seconds seems very insignificant when we go back to the life expectancy of 78.7 years, but 30 seconds was all it took for God to take our son back to his eternal life.  30 seconds...which I will never get back, but relive in my mind everyday.

Nine months...weather is seems like a lifetime or just a drop of water in the ocean, that time is significant and meaningful to someone.  It took 9 months to prepare and bring this gorgeous boy into the world and only 30 seconds to change it all.

Nine Months ago today at 12:06pm this life that we prepared 9 months for was taken back home with Jesus.  Some day's it seems like just yesterday that the accident happened and most days it feels like a life time since I was able to hold and try to protect my innocent son in my arms.  It has been 9 months since I held his hand and kissed his cheeks...it has been 9 months since my son's heart stopped beating in my arms.  It has been 9 months since my heart was whole and full of joy.

So with time considered, I believe that everyone is the holder of their own time and what it means to them...use it wisely and hold on to each moment you have even if it seems as little as 30 seconds.  30 Seconds can alter your entire world and change you forever.

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”