I have often wondered if
luck is something that is doled out individually in our lives, some
getting more than others, some getting none at all. Looking back, it
seems that I was extraordinarily lucky as a boy and later as a young
man, surviving experiences that had scant chance of turning out on my
side. It was like I was front loaded with a life time of luck, not to
last forever, but there in the beginning, when I most needed it.
We
lived on a canal when I was in high school in Hampton, Virginia. The
canal ran perpendicular to and behind the row of houses that was our
neighborhood, called Grandview Shores. The canal was about 12' deep
and 25 yards wide. On the other side was a vast marsh of hundreds of
acres of ponds, dikes, and coastal plant life that was to be a rich
playground of hunting and crabbing in the years to come. It was
surrounded by the Chesapeake bay, which was accessed by winding one's
way through it on our canal as it snaked around for several miles,
emerging into a back tidal river which ran around a point of beach
and into the big bay itself. You could also just get out on the road
in front of our house and walk a mile to the beach of the bay. Any
way you looked at it, it was a potential paradise for a 16 year old
boy whose parents agonized over the staggering price of $23,000 for
the house that they eventually opted for, recognizing the opportunity
for a life style that they had never anticipated before moving to
Virginia, and simply being unable to say no. The 1962 November day
that we moved in was bitterly cold and windy, but I took my 16th
birthday present out to the sea (canal) wall in back of our new
house, and cast with it for hours, unsure of what type fish were in
this water, but deeply content just to be there. Our neighbors had
small boat docks, with various sizes of sail and power boats moored
in their back yard, and my dad was to surprise us with a small
outboard motor boat, on a trailer that sat beside the house until we
could "build our own dock". That was done by spring, and
our boat bobbed merrily alongside of it, with its' christened name
painted on its' stern for all to see...."At Last". We were
to have an oyster bed under that dock which we harvested for years,
and the canal proved to be a treasure chest of Blue Crabs, which we
caught with chicken necks tied to the end of a string. My mother's
passion was fishing, so she, too, was in high hopes of sunny spring
and summer days ahead. Life was good.
It
took only a few days
for boys my own age, living on either side of me, to discover the new
arrival. Steve Mathews and Bronson Westfall were to become my bosom
buddies, with whom I would fish, scuba dive, sail, water ski, and,
well....do everything else that teenage boys did in the days before
cable TV and X Box. Steve had recently moved into the neighborhood,
but Bronson was a local native, whose family had been one of the
first to build a house on our street. He was to teach us many things
that involved that marsh and the water, and he would prove to be as
reckless and fearless as he was charming and handsome. My spirit was
not to ignite for some years to come, but Bron's was burning brightly
in 1962, and it was to get him killed half way around the world in
1967 in a place that none of us had heard of when first we played
together. The staggeringly brutal journey that we were about to
embark on from those earliest days in Grandview could not be imagined
at the time. But, our laughter and love rang loudly in the
neighborhood during our first two summers before we all moved away.
My last memory of the 3 of us together was on a summer evening in
1964, strumming a guitar on our dock, singing "Blowing in the
Wind", and "Where Have All the Flowers Gone", haunting
new ballads, popularized by a new troubador whose songs were to be a
prelude to the chaos and madness that awaited us all. I have often
wondered if we were the last generation of innocent, unembarrassed
teenage boys, singing sweetly to each other like that. It has been a
long time, but I am going to try and truly remember how it was, and
tell you about those last days of my
childhood.
*****
"You won't
catch a damn thing in the canal."
I
turned from my frigid
casting to see a boy of my age, same height, a little chunkier,
sauntering across the lawn with a knowing smirk on his face, and
didn't believe him for one second. "Where there's water, there's
fish", was my lame reply. He simply grinned and said, "name's
Steve Mathews. I guess we're neighbors."
"You
never
caught a fish out here?" I asked.
"Nope,
but I never
tried either. I just know there ain't none. Lots of crabs and jelly
fish, but no real fish. Gotta go down to the pier or boat out to Back
River to get anything. Out there are flounder and rock fish. A little
cold for that right now."
"You
caught many out
there?"
"I
caught some, and gigged some with
Bronson. He lives other side of you, but is off to military
school."
"Why's
he in military school?"
"Well,
my mom says he's high spirited and needs some discipline. Bad grades,
sneaks out at night, stuff like that. Saw him chug a beer once, and
smoke a cigarette. Cool guy."
“Sounds
like it.”
Silence for a few minutes as I cast my lure into the cold hard wind,
until my new friend really got my attention…
“You
hunt? Got any guns? Lots of ducks and geese out in that marsh. Only
lived here a couple of weeks myself, but been meaning to go out there
and see what I could get.” He was now singing my song.
I
had grown up hunting in the rural south as a young boy, was trusted
by my parents as being safe, and took for granted walking into the
woods with a shotgun. In no time at all, Steve and I were walking off
into the marsh with weapons at our side, loaded, looking for anything
that flew. Utter insanity, as it turned out, and only luck would keep
us alive in the years ahead as we practiced this ritual almost daily,
dusk until dawn. The number of accidental discharges and reckless
events that could have ended tragically are too many to recount, but
they were fresh enough in my mind many years later to not even
consider letting my own son use firearms as serendipitously as we
had. But, guns were treated in a much more cavalier fashion then, and
it was only natural that we used them for many hours of pleasurable
companionship. We had no idea what the art of duck hunting entailed,
and, quite frankly, never did figure it out. We simply walked around
hoping to scare one up, or have one fly over us. We managed, over the
years, to bag a couple of black ducks, which were good eating, a
widgeon or two, and lots of coots, but never a prized goose or even a
mallard. On our first foray, we got lucky and brought down two
Merganzers, which turned out to be fish eating ducks that stunk the
house up when my mother gamely cooked them for us. I bullied and
embarrassed Steve into chewing their tough flesh with a smile on his
face so as not to nullify the legitimacy of our hunt, or my mom’s
smiling enthusiasm as she cooked them. I believe she pressure cooked
them, trying to invoke some semblance of tenderness into their flesh,
but there was no escaping the foul smell of fish and marsh that
enveloped the house, and probably the neighborhood. Steve was to
forever nibble gingerly whatever ensuing game we brought home in the
coming years, so strongly embedded was the memory of those fish ducks
in his mind, and nostrils.
Bronson
came home for Christmas
from Hargrave Military Academy about a month later. His arrival was
much anticipated, such was the legend that he had left behind. I was
to be bitterly disappointed due to a stroke of very bad luck. The day
he came home, he took his family’s Volkswagon Beetle to the
store for his mom, and, as luck would have it, he passed my dad on
the only little country road that led to our neighborhood. Whatever
the speed limit was, Bron exceeded it in spades as he accelerated
around dad and swerved back into his lane just in the nick of time to
avoid an approaching truck. When my dad arrived home, there was the
offending VW parked in the driveway next door. Guess who was
forbidden to get into a car driven by old Bronson, when having a
driver’s license was tantamount to the highest echelons of
freedom at sixteen years old? I had not gotten my license, yet, nor
had Steve, so Bronson was our only gateway to freedom. A bleak
despair that I remember to this day would grip me when Bron and Steve
drove away to, well, damn near anywhere. My dad was to come to love
Bronson, but he would have to prove himself first, and my own father
had undoubtedly known many Bronsons in his life who had taken others
into risky places.
The
winter of 1963 quickly turned into
spring, and then the most glorious summer of my life. In those days,
you said good bye to most of your high school friends in May and saw
them again in August on the football field, or after Labor Day as the
school year began. Living several miles apart was like living
hundreds now. Even if you did get a driver’s license by the end
of your sophomore year, cars were scarce, and a family that had more
than one was a rarity. So, it was Steve, Bronson and I, mowing grass
and doing chores in the mornings to buy gas for the boat to sally
forth in, in the afternoons, and on the week ends. We would ski out
the canal to the bay, and scuba over the rocks of an old collapsed
light house some 10 miles out. “York Spit” was the name
of that legendary place, and it was marked by a single buoy that
allowed us to find it in the middle of the bay, out of sight of land.
Amazingly, once again a reflection of the times, I had saved for my
air tank and flippers, and just jumped into the sport of scuba diving
blind, with 2 other 16 year olds as “teachers”. In those
days you could get your tanks filled at various sporting goods
stores, and no one had ever heard the word “certification”.
I just went down 50 feet my first dive, as happy and expectant as I
had ever been in my life, learning by experience, unconcerned or
afraid, as only teenagers are. Steve’s parents also had a power
boat, so we took turns, and there was much bragging and arguing over
whose outboard was the best; my Johnson or Steve’s Scott.
Bronson’s family were sailors, true Chesapeake people, and they
had a racing sloop, the style of which was known as a “Hampton
One”. Maneuvering a sail boat, tacking and coming about, was
something that was second nature to Bronson, and it took many years
for him to teach Steve and I the rudiments of controlling something
that used the wind instead of a propeller. Sailing did not really
suit our mentalities at that time, as we preferred speed and all of
the benefits associated with 30 mph, rather than 5, most of which was
spent going back and forth, but there was that pesky problem of
paying for gas that always hung over our heads. So, sometimes, we
settled into that old flat 18’ sail boat, and made the best of
it. One particular occasion, where we did not have the ability to
outrun weather, or power head first into large swells, found us many
miles from shore, and almost cost us our lives, although we did not
realize how close we had come until many years later, when our more
mature minds looked back and asked , “we did what !?”.
We
had caught a stiff breeze that allowed us to run straight and fast at
a right angle to the shore, which of course translated into maximum
distance from terra firma. The sky was blue, and the tide and wind
were running against one another, making for a pretty smooth ride.
The wind picked up, and as our speed increased, the 3 of us leaned
farther and farther over the same edge of the boat, balancing
the weight of the air that was straining through the main sail and
the jib, both of which were getting dangerously close to horizontal.
We were flat moving; spray in our face, sunlight dazzling the rushing
water around us, Bronson and Steve braced with their legs into the
far railing, pulling as hard as they could on the rope that kept the
boom from whipping away from the boat and releasing the massive
volume of air trapped in the sail when a large swell reared up in
front of us, it caught the boom, and stopped it dead in the water,
although the rest of the boat kept on going. The boom snapped, and
the torque of its’ sudden loss of momentum twisted the mast to
the breaking point also. In the blink of an eye, the boat’s
stern shot into the air, driving the bow into the rising swells, the
mast cracked in half, the drag of its’ weight hitting the
water, resulting in a complete corkscrewing capsize. In one second we
had gone from racing wild eyed and free to flying through the air
over a suddenly exposed keel, sails and equipment under water.
Miraculously, no one was hit by anything other than the deep blue
sea, and we were able to quickly swim to the upside down boat and
cling to the keel. Stunned, it did not occur to us that somehow the
boat was staying afloat, not exactly as it had been designed to do,
and as I got my bearings, all I could hear over and over again were
Bronson’s agonizing words, “My dad is going to kill me
this time,” This all being said before we even really knew what
had hit us. Flat to the horizon, more in the water than out, and
trying to grip the slippery bottom of a sail boat 10 miles from shore
in an increasingly choppy sea, we were invisible to the rest of the
world. I remember clearly thinking that I could not lie in the ocean
all night with my hands scratching for a slippery hold on the bottom
of a boat that more than likely was going to sink pretty soon. So,
when the fishing boat pulled up along side of us in the middle of a
darkening ocean, and towed us to shore, it seemed like the only
reasonable thing that could have happened at the time, lucky as I had
always been. But, that is exactly what happened. A grizzled old salt
and his son, dragging a sean net, came upon us, and saved our lives.
Well, I should say that as we were being pulled to safety I knew that
no one was going to die from drowning that day, but Bronson’s
fate when he got home was anybody’s guess. Unfortunately, I
never knew my own fate on many occasions when I myself returned home,
from anyplace. But, life went on, and I lost Steve and Bronson, both
Marines, far too soon. I have gone back to the neighborhood, but
found only thoughts that I could bring to no conclusion.
The
houses of our youth are empty now, not even the echoes of our passing
sounds within those walls. No ghosts to whisper, so far away were the
inhabitants when they died, leaving a return trek too far for even a
soul to make. Nothing happened, anywhere, anytime, unless there was
someone left to remember. I do not dwell on these things anymore,
although sometimes late in the evening, in front of my fireplace,
dozing off, I think of those long ago events, and listen to those
muted sounds out of the past that more often than not now leave me
with a small wistful smile on my face. Who could ask for more.
Contact Robert (Unless you type
the
author's name in the subject
line of the message we won't know
where
to send it.)