Becoming Helen
Elyse Ribbons
©
Copyright 2022 by Elyse Ribbons
|
Photo courtesy of helenfostersnow.org |
Ooh,
I like this title. As
a linguistics nerd and a fan of punnery in general, this title brings
me joy because Helen Foster Snow was
indeed a very becoming woman; classy, graceful, witty and
beautiful. But
also, this is the perfect title because this essay is about my very
surreal experience of becoming Helen Foster Snow.
In
2015 I was presented with the opportunity to take on the role
of Helen in
the 42 episode biopic TV series, “Red
Star Over China,”
and of
course I leapt at this chance. Not
just because I got to play the leading lady in a major production,
but because of the mystique hanging around her legacy. As
a Sinophile that had been living and working in China for well over a
decade when this wonderful opportunity presented itself, I had heard
bits and pieces about Helen before. But
still, I didn’t
know all that much about her.
I
knew that she’d
been an American journalist in China in the 1930’s,
though I hadn’t
personally read anything she’d
written, or so I’d
thought. I
also knew that she was an “Old
Friend of China,”
which
is a vague but important title given to a relative few. I
also knew that she was the wife of Edgar Snow,
whose book, “Red Star Over China” I had read in
college.
But
what I didn’t
know, what so many didn’t
know, is that she was far more than these things. She
wasn’t
just Edgar’s
wife, she was also co-author of “Red
Star Over China”,
editor, and his diehard champion. She
was integral to the book in more ways than one, as it was she that
was able to smuggle the precious photos of the Chinese Communists
from Yan’An
back to Beijing. And
it was she who was the powerhouse behind the Gung Ho movement.
Oh,
and she was also a queen of the Beijing social scene, a model, an
activist, a valued teacher, and an accomplished writer in her own
right. She
exemplified so many things that I myself aspired to be, an ideal of
the American woman. And
yet, almost no Americans know about her.
Well,
my curiosity was beyond piqued, and once I signed the contract for
this role of a lifetime, I went straight into
research mode. I
read everything I could find about her, even paying to have a
horridly dull academic text shipped over to Shanghai from the U.S. I
had to get special permission to access the library at a local
university to recover a dusty version of her original English memoir.
Further
still, I enjoyed reading about her from other peoples’
perspectives. The other great writers and political figures of her
day gave me glimpses of her that she couldn’t reveal herself. I read
about her in English. And then I read about her in Chinese. I was
fascinated by the different ways she was portrayed.
In
her memoir, I suppose that she was trying to remain humble while
still explaining her involvement in the socio-political happenings of
1930’s
China. However, every person who wrote about her in
Chinese couldn’t
stop singing her praises. Her former students all adored her, and
several became future leaders of China. One
of whom, Huang Hua, lived to become a national leader because she had
hidden him away from the police in her closet in Beijing.
At
a dinner for the Snow Institute at Peking University one night, I got
to meet Huang Hua’s widow personally. After a few courses of
delicious Beijing cuisine, I moved over to her table and introduced
myself. When I asked about closet story, she became very emotional
and said that her husband had never for a day forgotten Helen’s
quick wit and bravery in the face of extreme danger.
Once
filming began, I made use of the opportunity to travel to other
cities in China, where Helen herself had traveled, and met with
people who had known her, or their relatives, to hear family lore and
more intimate stories than the history books contained. It was a
treasure trove of memories, and gave me unique insight into her
character. I also found myself noticing in particular the
reflections of her life into my own.
I
too had moved to China on my own as a young woman, and had made my
way through the social scene of Beijing and Shanghai, as well as
developing a very solid career for myself. She and I had both worked
for the US State Department, she as a secretary at the Consulate in
Shanghai, and myself as a Virtual Outreach Officer at the Embassy in
Beijing. She and I had both been models, though the highlight of my
modeling career was when I was chosen to be a spokesmodel for the
2008 Beijing Olympics. And she and I were both devoted writers.
Thanks
to my semi-celebrity status as a host of one of the most popular news
radio programs in China, “Laowai
Kandian”,
I was able to meet with some very impressive people, and hear their
personal stories of their interactions with Helen,
though often it was only second-hand from her students’
children
and the like. But
still, it painted a very vivid picture of the amazing woman and
filled me with an energetic joy when approaching the role.
The
more I learned about Helen,
the more that I became her. Almost
developing an entirely new personality. I’m
worried that by sharing this here that I perhaps will be admitting
that I need to see a psychologist. But
it really was strange, the way her own personality, her own turn of
phrase, had begun to supplant my own.
At
the beginning of filming with George Tronsrue, the actor who
portrayed Edgar Snow, we were great friends and got yelled at by the
crew more than once for laughing too much on set. But by the end of
filming, I had a hard time not feeling bitter about the way that he
(George as Edgar) had treated me (Elyse as Helen) even though George
himself had always been a gentleman and is still a dear friend. I
constantly had to pull myself away from the pain and bitterness and
remind myself that her story was not mine and George had not done
those things.
Those
five months of filming were some of the hardest of my life. Wearing
a Summer dress for a June scene and filming in the icy winds of
February resulted in my catching pneumonia. I
had to take time in between scenes to get my IV antibiotics
treatment. But
still I pressed on, almost obsessed beyond healthy measure. Ha,
why am I saying almost? I was definitely obsessed beyond healthy
measure.
I
had so many adventures while standing in Helen’s
shoes, reliving the many experiences of her China life. Everything
from flirting with Edgar in bubbly Shanghai, to running around on
chaotic train platforms as bombs went off. Spending
wonderful hours socializing with Beijing’s
literati, the days filming with Lu Xun were particularly fun, and
political leaders.
Wearing
glamorous qipaos and fur coats for fashion shows, to teaching
lectures at the University. Working
with the activists to hand out fliers to get students to march to
prevent General Song Zheyuan from handing over Northern China to the
Japanese. And
of course the many days of filming in the caves of Yan’An
in Northern Shaanxi with the full Communitist regalia.
I
also took many personal lessons as I too ran a philanthropic
organization as we filmed the founding, management and fundraising
for the Gung Ho coop movement with the support of Song Qingling. She
did all of these things, and so much more. Too
much to fit into this brief essay. But
wow, what a wild ride to film it. Towards
the end of the filming process, I too began to tire, and like Helen,
was exhausted, mind, body and soul. Like
her, I had to leave, to recompose myself, to reconnect. It
was all so much.
And
by playing that role, by becoming Helen Foster Snow,
I didn’t
just get the chance to connect with her. But
I also got a chance to better connect with myself. After
the filming, I realized that I needed to take better care of my
health, and I needed to find a calmer life so that I could settle
down and have a family. Helen never
had children, she’s
not very clear about whether or not she wanted them. But
I knew that I wanted children, and my own baby sleeping at my side
now as I write this brings me such a sense of joy and peace.
It
is hard for me to write about Helen,
as I often feel like I am somehow too personally involved. Her
bravery, her attitude, her feminine strength, these are all qualities
that I hope will stay with me after this strange embodying
experience. Sadly,
I did not get a chance to ever meet her myself, so many things about
her will forever remain a mystery. But
I think there is something about her that is known, and that we can
all do in our own lives: to reach our hands across to others, to work
hard and share in others’
work,
and to try to find understanding.
And
it is exactly what I am trying to do now. Act as a cultural bridge
between China and the West. Through my Twitter and TikTok feeds, I
try to share my own window into the soul of China. My true goal,
however, is like Helen, to write. While many others have spent their
youth acquiring capital and investing in their retirement, I instead
have been collecting stories.
It
is easy for me to get on stage in a stadium with a live audience of
80,000 people, and hundreds of millions watching the live TV stream. It
is easy for me to go to business meetings and negotiate
multi-million yuan deals with government officials over baijiu
banquets. It is easy for me to teach an aerial yoga class when nine
months pregnant. But it has not been easy for me to sit down and
write.
And
yet, this is my absolutely favorite thing to do. The joy I feel once
my words begin to flow across the page is beyond compare. You know
how there’s the runner’s high? Well for me, the best is
the writer’s high. But for so long I lacked the confidence to
give in to the joy, to do this very thing that makes me so happy.
So
I am taking yet another note from Ms. Helen Foster Snow, and I am
getting the courage up now. Writing more, submitting more, and
hoping some day to get my novels and nonfiction books published. And
in the meantime, I will enjoy re-experiencing the world through my
daughter’s eyes and adding more stories to my collection.
Elyse
Ribbons is a writer, journalist and theater nerd based in Chengdu,
China. Born in Detroit and raised in North Carolina, she's lived in
China for nearly two decades and along the way has earned degrees and
certificates from UNC-Chapel Hill, Communications University of
China, Stanford Graduate School of Business and most recently an MFA
in Peking Opera from the National Academy of Chinese Theatre Arts in
Beijing. When she isn't watching Star Trek, playing with pandas or
enjoying spicy Sichuanese cuisine, you'll find her on talk shows,
podcasts, the stage or sometimes even in a film.
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