Loved First: A Fathers War For His Daughter





Derick Blakes

 
© Copyright 2025 by Derick Blakes



Photo by Ari Dinar on Unsplash
Photo by Ari Dinar on Unsplash
This is a true story of fatherhood, regret, and redemption. As a young man struggling to become the father I never had, I lost my daughter Dakota to silence and misunderstanding. This chapter from my life reflects both the cost of absence and the power of a father’s intercession to redeem what was nearly lost. I offer it in hope that it speaks to parents and children alike who are still reaching across the wounds of time.

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I loved her first.

Before the chaos. Before the court orders. Before the silence.

Dakota was my first child. My first miracle. My first chance to be the father I never knew. I remember her eyes—the way they locked onto mine when I held her as a baby. I remember the way she fell asleep on my chest, like my heartbeat was enough. I remember her little hand gripping my thumb like she knew I would protect her from the world.

But life doesn’t always give us what we hope for. It gives us what we’re ready to fight for.

And back then, I didn’t know how to fight the right way.

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Her mother and I weren’t stable. We tried, but we were young, broken, and often at war ourselves. And in the middle of it was Dakota—watching, absorbing, forming her view of love and fatherhood in the crossfire.

Then came the separation. One day, I was Daddy. The next day, I was... gone. Not because I didn’t care. Not because I walked away. But because when relationships collapse, the children often fall through the cracks.

For years, I tried to stay connected. But phone calls became missed connections. Visits became supervised meetings. Eventually, silence.

The enemy didn’t just steal my presence—he tried to rewrite my role. He whispered lies to her: “He left you.” “He didn’t care.” “You weren’t enough.” Lies with legs that walked right into her self-worth.

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As she got older, I watched from a distance as rebellion took root. Her choices started reflecting the pain of abandonment. But I saw it for what it was—grief. The grief of being adored and then abandoned, even if that abandonment wasn’t my heart or intention.

I cried out to God. I warred in prayer. I laid on my face for a daughter who no longer called me Daddy. And in those moments, I had to face my own shame—the mistakes I made, the pride I carried, the legal battles I lost because I didn’t know how to fight with wisdom.

But love is relentless. And a father’s love, rooted in God’s love, never stops reaching.

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There came a moment when I had to stop asking for what I had lost and start *declaring* what I would reclaim.

I wrote letters. I sent gifts. I showed up to events even when she didn’t acknowledge me. I started praying not just *for* Dakota, but *with* heaven about who she was.

I called her restored.
I called her loved.
I called her chosen—even when I felt like a stranger.

And slowly, the walls began to fall.

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One day, she let me back in—not all the way, but just enough to hear my heart again. And that was the beginning of healing. We talked. We cried. We named the hurt. We forgave the silence. And I told her what I had always wanted to say:

You were the first one I loved without conditions. And I never stopped.”

Today, Dakota is not just my daughter. She is my friend, my teacher, my redemption song. Her journey isn’t perfect. Neither is mine. But we’ve found our rhythm. And the Father—our heavenly Father—has written mercy into every beat of it.

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This story isn’t just about a father and daughter. It’s about how love, repentance, and persistence can rewrite a bloodline. I offer it to any child who feels forgotten, and to every parent who fears it’s too late.

It’s not.


Derick Blakes is a father, street prophet, and the founder of Confirmation Nation Inc., a nonprofit focused on generational healing and restoration. Based in California, he writes prophetic books and leads Kingdom initiatives to rebuild families from the ground up. This is his personal testimony and offering for those still believing for family redemption.



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