Twenty-five Mother's Days Without Her
Cathy B. Bridges
©
Copyright 2020 by Cathy B. Bridges
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Today
is May 27, 2020,
and mama has been gone 25 years and 15 days. She passed from this
life to a better one on May 12, 1995. That was the Friday before
Mother’s Day. I will never forget it. I was working for an
optometrist on the other end of town when my dad called with the bad
news. Mama had died. At first, I could not believe it, even calling
daddy back to make sure I heard right since he had been crying when
he called. I could not get there fast enough, but after arriving,
seeing mama laid out in the backyard was a horrible and unforgettable
sight.
Daddy had called 911,
but it appeared he had called me first. He knew she was gone and was
so upset when I got there; he did not know up from down. He had them
on the phone, so I dropped down in the grass in my white scrub pants
and took over. They talked me through CPR while the ambulance was on
its way, but it was too late, mama was gone. Shortly after, the
ambulance arrived, and of course, they could not get a response. The
paramedics loaded her on a gurney and pushed it around to the front
where the ambulance sat running.
Daddy rode in the
front of the ambulance, and I talked to him briefly before it left. I
knew right then that mama was gone and would not be back. I could
smell it—the smell of death. You know what I mean. It has so
many different distinguishing odors, some you will never forget. This
one almost sickened me and will be with me for the rest of my life.
It was hard to associate my mama with these awful odors.
After locking up my
parent’s home, I headed to the hospital and met daddy in a part
that I had never been to before. A nice lady placed us in a room full
of tissue boxes where they come in and tell you that your loved one
is deceased. That is just what her doctor did, explaining that mama
had a cardiac arrest that took her from us. They took us to the
morgue nearby to see her one more time, which was another horrible an
unforgettable experience. There she was lying on a stainless-steel
slab covered with a sheet and naked as the day she came into this
world. They were getting her ready to go into refrigeration, awaiting
the funeral home’s arrival to get her body.
We buried mama on the
Monday after Mother’s Day in the navy floral dress that I had
bought her, and she had never worn. Mama looked like herself, and her
appearance was as if she was just asleep for a while. I remember
walking around the funeral home like a zombie. I could not be still,
and my nerves were on end. It was a very long day, but I hated to see
it end because then it would be all over, and my precious mom’s
body that I loved so much would be in the ground. I knew where her
soul was, but I hated to think of her being in the cold ground.
Mama had mentioned
needing a new black handbag, so that is what I got her for Mother’s
Day, but never had a chance to give it to her. I don’t recall
what I did with it. Maybe I sold it on eBay because I could not bring
myself to use it. It was for mama, not me.
So many Mother’s
Days have gone by, and all I could do was to put flowers on her
grave. I just visited her grave a few weeks ago to place a new flower
arrangement in the urn that sits between her and daddy. I usually
change the flowers out 3 or 4 times a year. That is all I can do for
either one of them now, and I wish I had been able to spend more time
with them. Mama loved to go shopping at fabric stores. She loved to
sew and did a lot of it when she was younger. Discount stores were
another place Mama loved to look for bargains. She was a tightwad
with her money and always did what she felt was best.
This past Mother’s
Day, I thought about what a wonderful mama I had and how much I miss
her. She was a well-respected Southern Christian lady, and very
unobtrusive. She never pushed herself on others. That was not her
way, but she was always very friendly to all, and she did not have
any enemies. I can’t think of anyone that did not like or have
great respect for her.
There is nothing
negative to be said about her because there is none. There is no way
I could ever come close to being the great person she was. I reckon
it’s not in me, although I have tried. Mama loved God, her
family, and her home. She enjoyed working in the garden or with her
flowers and could tell you the name of every flower in the South.
Her cooking was
something special also, and one reason was that she enjoyed it so
much. My husband can vouch for that because mama sure did help fatten
him up through the years. She could make the best turkey and
cornbread dressing on Thanksgiving. Her cakes and pies would make
your mouth water just thinking about them. She made a yum-yum cake
that was so moist and yummy that it did not last long. Her fruit
cocktail pies were great in the summertime also.
Christmas was a
favorite of mama’s, and she would busy herself in the kitchen
baking and cooking while listening to Christmas music. It always made
her so happy, and I loved seeing her smiling, enjoying herself with
her family during the holidays. When the grandkids came along, she
was really in her element. Having children around again just made
things perfect for her. She did not need anything else because she
had everything she needed.
Mama was a cashier at
Kroger for over 30 years, but she also was a front-end manager and
worked in the front office. She worked at many different Kroger
stores in the Huntsville area. A lot of people would tell you that
mama was the friendliest and fastest cashier at Kroger. People loved
her because she was humble and had a great personality. The
camaraderie between mama and her co-workers was always great, and she
had repeat customers that came through her line for years because
they enjoyed having a brief chat with her.
After mama retired,
she enjoyed it for a short time, because it was not long before she
had a heart attack that resulted in irreparable damage to one side of
her heart. She changed her eating habits, walked, and lost some
weight. They had a beautiful big back yard, and she walked around and
around almost every day. She did try to watch what she ate, but it
was not easy. It is hard to change your eating habits when you grew
up in the South eating all the heart-stopping delicious meals such as
fried chicken, fried potatoes, fried okra, and squash, plus cornbread
and pinto beans and maybe some turnip greens flavored with pork
fatback.
One lovely May morning
around 9:00, she walked as usual but did not know it would be her
last. My dad was pulling weeds not too far away. Mama had done a few
laps around the yard when she got close enough to tell daddy that she
felt faint. He told her to come and sit down, which she did.
According to daddy, mama said, “Hold me.” He pulled her
to him, and she was gone. She died in his arms around all her
favorite colorful flowers. I believe that would have been the way she
wanted it.
Mama would have turned
64 that coming September, and that is way too young to die. It gives
me much to think about, though, because I am 64 now. Would that I
could die at home quickly and painless as my precious mama did. She
is an angel in Heaven now but left us too soon. Mama was so special
to her family, and I am glad to have lots of beautiful pictures and
memories of her.
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