Alicia Abner

© Copyright 2018 by Alicia Abner

Photo of a young girl.

Heís yelling again, that never ends well for anyone. Soon things will break as they hit the walls at full force. Then she will start crying, begging him to stop wonít work. It always starts just like this. One of the neighbors will call the cops when it gets to loud, but by then it will be over and he will be gone. Damage will already be done and nobody will even be aware that while I lay here in the dark I heard everything.

Every crash, shatter, and every smack. It all seems so much louder than it really was. I donít know who started it or what it is over this time. It happens so much who could really keep track? Every harsh word and every plea to stop sticks in my head making it hard to sleep.

Iím scared but I know better than to cry. If they find out I am awake it will only get worse. Worse for me and worse for her. It will get louder before help comes though. It always does.

Sheís crying again, trying hard to hide it even though she canít. He hit her with something this time. I know because I heard it. Tomorrow she will have new marks and bruises. She will lie about where she got them but people will know. They always know the truth.

Heís screaming again, louder this time. Heís complaining about dinner, it was cold. At least he got to eat. She didnít put gas in the car, he didnít give her any money. The electric will be shut off again, he was to drunk to work this week. He says itís all her fault, but is it.

She wonít leave him, sheís too scared. Help will come though, it always does. Always too late.

I pull the blanket up over my head and squeeze my eyes closed. Soon it will be over. Soon it will be safe. The front door slams shut loudly. The cops will be here in a few minutes. She is cleaning up the mess. She always does. Itís all still there fresh in my head. He wonít be home for a few days but when he does come back nothing will have changed. It never does.

He is the darkness in my life and she always follows him. She always will, dragging me with them. Never feeling comfortable, never feeling safe. He is the darkness, and he terrifies me.

Iím just a girl who uses my rough childhood for good instead of repeating the wrongs I grew up in.  I let others know they are not alone and can overcome anything.

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