Crossing Borders, Finding Love: A Nigerian's Adventures In Benin And Togo




Afolabi Abisola Oluwakemi

 
© Copyright 2024 by Afolabi Abisola Oluwakemi


 Photo by Yemi Festus at Wikimedia Commons.
Photo by Yemi Festus at Wikimedia Commons.
 
I’ve always loved words. I have memories of hiding in the toilet to read while ignoring every shout of my name to do chores at home as a young girl. As a boarder in secondary school, I read everything and anything. Including incomplete, passed-down novels and magazines way outside my age group. My favorite gifts range from novels to autobiographies and handwritten novels. Inspired by Mills and Boons and Harlequin, I had dreams of being whisked off my feet by a dashing handsome rake and living in a castle (or, at least, a mansion) for the rest of my life. Imagine my shock as I grew up and realized there were more frogs than princes among the Yoruba men resident in the southwestern part of Nigeria, where I’ve lived all my life. A few heartbreaks and “several happily ever afters” later, I had this strong desire to explore other nationalities. After all, love has no boundaries. Right?
 
When I got an opportunity to go to two neighboring countries with a group of friends, it was fate. It seemed like all the stars conspired to make sure I spent Christmas with the love of my life. I already have visions of being all cuddly wearing matching pajamas with our Christmas tree in the background. Love called, and I had to answer.
 
The trip to Benin Republic and Togo from Nigeria by road started on a Friday. We took off in an 18-seater coaster bus around 7am, and after a brief introduction and sharing of goody bags, the excitement in the air was tangible. I took my phone out and was committed to taking as many pictures as possible of the trip. It was my first time outside Nigeria, and elated doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

Our first stop for refreshments and a brief walk was at Badagry. Badagry is a coastal town in Lagos State, Nigeria. It was a brief stop at one of those supermarkets designed to cater to travelers. Got water, window shopped, made calls to friends and family, and a few minutes later, we were on the move again. The trip was seamless until we got close to the Seme Border. The bad roads and officials every few meters checking and demanding tips made the journey extra stressful, but no one was going to stand in the way of love, so I still arrived at the border extremely joyful. It took a little over four hours to move from Badagry to Seme Border. Border control was seamless, and I literally skipped to check my biometrics. As travel is not easily accessible to an average Nigerian, this was a really big deal for me. You can call me the international girl. At the border, I got this really cute handmade woven bag. Circular and sturdy, with colors that ranged from exotic purple to blue, it was the perfect accompaniment to the beach-inspired outfits I had packed. My friends got cute bracelets made from beads. We took walks to stretch from sitting in a position for so long and commenced on the next lap of the journey.
 
As soon as we left the border, the time zone changed, and we gained an hour. I was super excited as the time on my phone changed and I got messages from my carrier to roam my line. I started to rethink my decision not to get a local SIM card at the border because I hoped it would be less expensive in town. The difference between countries as we stepped into the Benin Republic was as clear as day. Better roads, fewer officials on the road, and just a feeling of calm and less chaos. This definitely meant that their men would be better, right? As they have not been exposed to the chaos that made Yoruba men get the nickname of “Yoruba demons," masters of breaking and mending hearts only to break it again. I digress. Our first stop inside the Benin Republic was at a money changer whose rate was supposed to be better. Alas, he changed at the same rate as the ones at the border.
 
As a tourist, my first stop was at the Amazon Statue, Majestic. She appeared larger than life, every angle a testament to the beauty the African woman is. I was in awe—star struck, you might even say. Thankfully, the area surrounding her wasn’t so crowded with tourists when we got there, so I had the opportunity to bask in the beauty and enjoy the arena without bursting into people. There was the language barrier, as Beninese are mostly French speakers while I, a Nigerian, am a native English speaker. This did not stop me from meeting people, and the highlight was a cute young man who said in broken English, “You are beautiful." I took lots of pictures and basically enjoyed the glowing sun and awesome breeze.

The sprawling, seemingly unending “longest graffiti wall” in Africa was our next stop at Cotonou, Benin, and Wow! Doesn’t begin to convey how awesome this experience was. I was amazed by the talent, effort, and thought that went into the works of art. The art conveys emotions such as awe to adoration to nostalgia, even fear, and then love. I couldn’t go all the way, but the parts I saw definitely left an indelible impact on me and my appreciation of art.

I’m contemplating leaving this next part out of the entire write-up due to an aversion to reptiles generally and snakes specifically. One of the major surprises for me on this trip was the affinity Benin people had for snakes. Statutes were all over the streets, and the museums have several monuments and artifacts all pointing towards snake worship or, at the very least, deep appreciation for those creatures. Anyways, I visited the “temple des phythons” at Ouidah, Benin Republic, after. You might be wondering why I visited since I have a deep aversion to snakes. Remember that I was touring with a group? We had people in the group that wanted to visit, so we went. While visiting the Amazon statue and graffiti wall was free, a ticket was needed to enter the temple. Myself and other friends who didn’t fancy the putting snakes on the neck focused on the cathedral opposite the temple, took pictures, and eventually took a short walk to the museum of the Zinsiu Foundation a few minutes away. Our short visit was really fulfilling, as the arts were just great. The staff were extremely friendly, spoke English, were extremely helpful with descriptions, and just had a great time.
 
Hopped into the bus from the museum, and we were off to Togo. About 3 hours later, we arrived in Togo. The border protocols at this point were a blur. I was still excited and maybe even mesmerized by my surroundings, but I couldn’t wait to get to my room and sleep. The drive from the border to our hotel took another 35 to 40 minutes. Hotel Riviera Ramatou was a sight for this traveler’s sore eyes. The grounds had me squealing in excitement while the beach called me for a quick dip. The check-in was seamless, and the staff were extremely courteous. I took a quick bath, and the professed exhaustion disappeared. I changed and went off to enjoy the coolness of the breeze at the beach. Had dinner and took a walk along the shores. The city lights, sand on my feet, coldness from the night waves, and water lapping my feet were the stuff I dreamed of. You need to experience this. A long while later, I went back in to take a quick shower and went to bed. I slept like a very fulfilled woman.
 
As you can probably tell, I slept like a fulfilled but distracted woman. I came for love from a man; why was I all about love for the environment and nature? Anyways, I sighted some fine-looking Oyinbo at the resort grounds the previous night, so maybe I move from finding an African lover to a non-African. Love is love. Abi?*

I woke up really early so I could catch the rising of the sun at the beach, and it was quite an experience. The warmth of the sun, the amazing hues as it rose steadily, fishermen dragging their nets—I soaked it all in. I went in to get set for the day and partook of the wonderful breakfast that was a part of the resort’s package. The bread, or baguette, as they call it, alongside an omelet, coffee, and fresh juice was the perfect start to my day. Took lots of pictures and went on to the Palais de Lome, a tourist attraction. The trip there was congestion-free, a breath of fresh air from the hustle and bustle that is prevalent in Lagos, Nigeria, and the open display of bread in traffic plus the sale of mini aquariums with fish in them was a culture shock for me. I got to the Palais and was immediately mesmerized by the entrance. I got in and got a tour detailing the many events that built, destroyed, and rebuilt the Palais. Again, I was reminded that African countries may be different, yet we are similar in so many ways and our challenges are mostly the same. Took much more lovely pictures, bought mementos, including postcards, signed the visitor’s log, and off we went to the Grand Marche.

The market was, how do I say this? Not a nice experience for me. I do not like crowded places, and the combination of people, noises, and the sun was a bit overwhelming. Getting a nice fresh flower and lots of crafts from the market made up a bit for the stress I faced. The market catcalls was really cute and annoying at the same time; it reminded me a bit of home. I got to the sacred heart cathedral located in the market, and I was reminded again that “the more things change, the more they remain the same." The design and architecture built several years ago still give us joy in the present, and all things being equal, would bring joy to generations after. At this point, I was done, like really, really done exploring, and still hadn’t found love. Returned to the resort for some beach time. If I couldn’t find love in the whole of Lome, at least I could enjoy the comfort and serenity of the sea and a dip in the pool.
 
Feeling much more relaxed hours later, I was on my way to the lodge when I saw my Oyinbo. The sharp burst of hope I felt was quenched as he all but appeared to look through me. Not even a look in my eye, hope of an affair characterized by the similar theme of the harlequin I grew binging on.

Torh!* We go again. One thing I wouldn’t do is give up on love. And, I might not have met my tall, dark, and handsome man on this trip, but I did fall in love. I fell in love with traveling and now have a deeper appreciation for the world and a deep yearning to see as much as I can. Maybe later with the man of my dreams, maybe with the girl of my dreams (myself). No matter what the future brings, may I never lose my wonder, and may it always be a blessing to watch the sun rise, feel the warmth of sand beneath my feet, and walk on paths created by men generations before I came.
 
My trip back to Nigeria was not as eventful as my trip to Benin and Togo. Stopped by the independence monument for a few pictures, got a few gifts for my family at the crafts market in Benin, and spent the rest reminiscing, wishing and hoping while I enjoyed the breeze and the changing terrains while dreading yet anticipating the noise, hustle, and bustle, the tangible excitement that breathing the air of Lagos, Nigeria, is.

 *Abi. Definition: Is it true? (checking conformity with fact, reason, truth, or some standard or principle.]
 
*Torh is a Nigerian lingo conveying anything from exasperation to reluctant acceptance.


I am an accountant between 8 and 5, a dreamer any day, all day. I currently live and work in Ibadan, Nigeria, where I take off to explore the world, a city at a time, a people at a time, while on a journey to finding love and being loved.


Contact Afolabio
(Unless you type the author's name
in the subject line of the message
we won't know where to send it.)


Book Case

Home Page

The Preservation Foundation, Inc., A Nonprofit Book Publisher