Maddie Is Gone Addison Daily   © Copyright 2025 by Addison Daily

Photo courtesy of the author.

Maddie hadn’t come like she promised.

Lena stared out of her bedroom window, fingering her dark braid. Her untouched supper lay on her bed, on a wooden tray, full of all of her favorite foods. But she couldn’t bring herself to eat it. Her little sister had brought it upstairs for her, even though she was only six and had weak arms due to the fact that she had just finished battling cancer. Lena saw the small note on the tray, saw the childish scrawl, saw the little sad faces and broken hearts only little kids would draw, but it didn't register in her brain. All she could think was: 

Maddie hadn’t come. 

Like watchwork, in about ten minutes her parents would come up the stairs, knock on her door and beg Lena to talk to them. She wouldn’t respond, and her dad would get angry at her. He’d start yelling. He’d either yell about disrespect, or like one time, he’d shake her shoulders so hard her head felt like it was going to pop off. But then they would leave. They’d leave and she would be left with blissful silence. She’d be left to her own dark thoughts that seemed to never go away. 

She gazed out of her window, seeing her whole street down below, seeing the lamps flicker, and she’d think once again: 

Maddie hadn’t come.  

But then, even though it was impossible. Even though Maddie was dead, she’d see a blonde head pop into view by the lamplights. And she would beckon to Lena and smile. As if Lena was her only friend. And Lena would smile back, for once. Maddie would then tell her to open her window. Lena did so. And in a ghostly whisper Lena would hear, “We can be together. Forever.” Lena shivered, seeing pale goosebumps line her pale arms. Then Maddie would say something Lena couldn’t hear, and she’d lean a little bit out of the window, trying to catch the floating words, to hear her. To be near her. Then she would lean a little bit more. 

“What?” Lena would shout. And when she was about to tumble into Maddie’s open arms, there would come a knock on her bedroom door. She looked at the door, then at the street where Maddie had once stood. Maddie had vanished. 

Maddie hadn’t come. 

“Lena?” Her dad called outside her door. She walked to her bed and sat on the edge, feeling disappointed. 

“May we come in, sweetie?” No response escaped her lips. The door opened creakily. Dad shook his head, “Man, we’ve got to oil those hinges soon, right Lena?” She stared at the wood floor. Elsie clung to their mom, looking reproachful and defiant. Curly baby hair was tied back into a thin braid made of soft, wispy hair. A big Minnie Mouse bow sat on top of her head. She jutted her chin out and said, “Why don’t you play with me anymore?” Lena wouldn’t answer, but she’d think, because I’m too sad.  

“Elsie, why don’t you go brush your teeth? Mommy and Daddy have to talk to Lena about something important.” Yeah right.  Lena thought. Elsie pouted, as only six year olds could. She let go of their mom and stepped back, lurking behind them. If Lena was still normal she would have laughed at Elsie’s demeanor. 

But instead she stared at both of her parents unblinkingly. They both flinched and looked away. Her dad wrapped an arm around her moms waist, and her mom kept spinning her wedding ring around and around and around her finger. They both looked at each other once and blinked. A silent parent code that said our-eldest-daughter-has-serious-mental/physical-problems. Lena scowled. Nothing was wrong with her. She was just grieving. 

“I know you are sad. I know you don’t want to talk. But please talk to us,” her mom prodded. 

“It’s time to talk. We’ve let this go on for far too long.” Her dad spoke gruffly. “We are here to help you. What do you need from us?” For you to go away. 

“You need to talk to us.” No, I don’t. 

“Lena…” Go away. 

“Lena, answer your mother.” No.

“Lena, we can’t stand to see our baby so sad.” I’m not your baby!

“Get out of your head for once and act like a human.” Her dad spoke harshly. 

“Lena, please talk.” Her mom said quietly. She reached for Lena. Lena scrambled back on her bed, knocking the tray of food onto the carpet floor. Her mom drew her hand back swiftly, as if scalded. Elsie suddenly leapt from behind them and picked up the note she had made for Lena, who hadn’t even looked at it.

“Did you read it?” Elsie asked. Stop it. Elsie opened the crinkled slab of paper. It held common words like, sissy, mean, and miss. Please Elsie, stop. Blood pounded in her ears and her rage bubbled. She locked her arms around her legs and rocked. 

“Lena?” Elsie questioned. Go Elsie. Before you get hurt. 

“Stop acting so immature!” Her dad finally yelled. She’d been wondering when he was going to pop. 

“You can’t keep skipping school.” Her mom added. Lena vaguely registered her voice. All she could think was: Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. 

“Play with me.” Elsie demanded. 

“We've been thinking. That is…your father and I..that you should see a therapist.” Seeing the look on Lena’s face she continued. “But only two days a week! Right after school. Thirty minutes. That’s it.”

“No.” Lena whispered. That’s all she could manage. She hadn’t used her vocals or tongue in a long time. Only in her head. It felt like lifting the world.  

“What?” Her dad asked. She cut her gaze at him. “No.”

“Young lady, you are going. I don’t care if you have a freaking mental illness! You are going!” He pounded his fist on the edge of her bed. She lowered her gaze. She couldn’t bring herself to care. 

“John!” Her mom gasped. “Calm down.” Talking to her parents and getting screamed at was the very last thing she needed. She needed to be left alone. To be with Maddie. The only person who understands her. Forever. Just like she promised. The heavy weight crushing her heart lifted a little. She would see Maddie soon. 

“Lena? We’re also concerned…you're not eating honey.” Lena looked fiercely up. First, when she was fat they wanted her to lose weight. Now that she is skinny, they’re concerned. And after her best friend, her only friend, dies, they wanted her to see a freaking therapist?

“Honey, it’s been four months. You need to get out and..”

“I’m not going. Ever.”

“Le..”

“No!” Lena screamed. Now she was standing off of her bed with clenched fists. 

“Lena..” her dad warned. 

“Shut up! Shut up!” But her mom kept trying to keep her close. To be nice. To be infuriatingly, a mom, that Lena wanted to break the whole world apart. Before she knew it, words of a whole new hatred burned out of her throat. 

“I wish you would all die and leave me alone! I wish you would have died instead. I would choose her over you a million times over!” Her mom shrank back,as if Lena were a demon. Her dad locked a hand on her arm and pulled her close. 

“Get. In. The. Car. Now.”

“No!” Lena screamed. 

“Lena you're a meany.” Elsie shouted. Lena rolled her eyes. “Oh god, like I need a freaking six year old to tell me that.” Her dad tightened his hand in her arm.

“Ow! You're hurting me.”

“Good. I’m gonna teach you a lesson.” He was squeezing her arm so tight she couldn’t feel her fingers and she knew it would be mottled with bruises tomorrow. 

“John, let go of her.” Her mom yelled. Time seemed to stop the action. 

“Lena Marie Doughtery. You get in the car this instant or you will wish you’d never been born!”

“I already do! I’ve been wishing that ever since I was three!” Lena’s eyes pierced through her moms, who had slipped under the mask she always seems to wear. Tears welled up in her big, sea green eyes. She’d never said those things to her mom before. And she’d never seen her mom look like this. Composure slipped, hands fragile, eyes full of hurt, and the crumpled face full of wishing, haunted her. She just wanted her daughter back. But Lena didn’t know if she could give her that. How could she when she seems to have lost herself?

Her mom had only ever cried in front of her once. But tonight she trembled and shook as all of the pent up sobs burst through her bony body. She would never forgive her.

“I hate you!” Lena roared. Suddenly she found strength and wrenched out of his grasp. She scrambled down the stairs, two at a time. 

“Wait!” She heard Elsie cry. “You forgot my note.”

Tears leaked out of Lena’s eyes. They would never forgive her. Good. She wasn’t even worth the penny left in a pocket.  She’d give anything to be away from this family, this world. She opened the front door and ran into the cold night. She poured all of her energy into her sprint and fought the urge to look over her shoulder. She made it about halfway down the street before the sound of screeching tires reminded her of something important. She forgot to look both ways. The first lesson her parents had ever taught her. Her head turned and she locked eyes with the terrified driver. She was going to die. 

It happened so fast she barely registered the pain. But the one thing that wouldn’t stop screaming in her brain, as she lay there broken, was: 

Maddie hadn’t come.