OH
MY GOD. So I was just sitting in the kitchen, eating my favorite
cereal, you know, the usual fruit loops, on a typical Saturday morning,
when my Mom comes out of her bedroom with this strange look on her
face. I mean, she was really pale and her hair was like an upside down
mop. Seriously. And she had on her cotton pink robe instead of her blue
one, which usually means she is either depressed or on her
period.
Mom
came up to me and got onto her knees. I looked at her like she was
crazy and said, “Whatare you doing?” “I am so sorry,” she grabbed my
hands and kept repeating the same thing over and over. She had tears in
her big baby blue eyes and I felt sorry for her. I mean, what could it
feel like, being bipolar and not being able to control your own
emotions? I sighed. She must be having another mental
breakdown.
“What are you sorry for, Mom?”
She
got up shakily, like she was the oldest woman in the world, even though
I know for a fact she is only thirty. “I know this will be hard for
you. I..I mean it will be hard for me too.. but you're going to love it
there. I promise. Well..”
“Mom!” She blinked at me.
“What?”
“What are you talking about?”
She smiled, that mischievous smile that everyone knew about. The smile
that made the cover of a very popular magazine when she was a well
known actress, before she got depressed.“We're moving to Alaska with my
fiancée.” Fiancée?
Now I’m writing this in a..
well somewhat calm manner but I was literally freaking out
earlier. I mean, what in the flipping mother of a leaf! What was she
thinking? She said we were moving to Alaska?Where there is nothing to do?
Where it is always0 degrees or below? With her
boyfriend? Now fiancée? The guy who said I had a big nose? The same guy
who made about thirty thousand dollars a week than my mom made in a
whole year. That guy? I am trying so hard to take this
abominable news calmly, you know? Like a responsible person. But I am
so angry right now I could blow a casket! I think I may be
hyperventilating. My hands are shaking and I want to scream. How can I
not be upset?
My
mother is getting married. AGAIN. In a whole other country! In Brazil!
And she’s going to take a two week honeymoon with her new rich
boyfriend. What am I supposed to do? You would think she’d have learned
a lesson after that last guy with the fake mustache, but apparently
not. As if I don’t have enough problems already! I just don’t see how
much I can take. I mean, I already am:
The
shortest girl in my Sophomore class.
I
am diagnosed as a nerd by the whole student body.
My
mom divorced my dad a year ago and I still haven’t seen him
since.
My
best friend hates me right now because I am in love with her older
brother.
I
am currently failing my calculus class.
And
oh yeah! Did I mention we have two weeks to move to Alaska? To a place
with negative temperatures and almost no summer? Can you believe it?
What was she thinking?
*****
I
can’t believe this. I really can’t believe the nerve of that woman! My
mother apparently hadn’t told me the whole gosh darn truth.
The
whole truth we have to move? The whole reason why she has to marry that
guy? Is because ... .because. Argh! I can’t even say it.
She’s…
she’s PREGNANT! With a child. Hischild. Ughh! This is so like
her! Like, who goes having babies without getting married? You know.
Stupid teenage girls. But my mom is not a teenager. She’s an adult!
She’s always telling me that I can’t have children without being
married for at least five years and then she goes having babies and
she’s not even married! She’s such a hypocrite!
I
can’t help thinking of how I’m going to get us out of this mess. And
you know the sad part? My mom is so starved from a man actually loving
her she would do anything to get a man to love her. I mean I can see
why men would fall head over heels over her, but after you get used to
her, you see that she’s.. well flighty. And bipolar. And if you’ve ever
heard being bipolar, it’s when you can be feeling very happy one moment
then want to cry the next without knowing why. You're depressed. And
you have suicidal thoughts. A LOT.
But..
My mom loves me. If I were dying she would give her life for mine. If I
had a bad day at school she would make me tea. I guess my mom is a good
mom. I mean she feeds me… sometimes. And she’s never left me anywhere
(well, once. But that was because she thought I was in the car.) So
she’s a good mother. Just very..ugh I don’t know. Sometimes I wish my
mom were like other moms. Like my old friend Lea’s mom. Not bipolar.
Not depressed. Not pregnant. Not flighty. Just a regular
mom.
*****
My
mom says I should write out all of my feelings about this whole fiasco
in my diary. To rid my body of what she calls my “negative responses”.
Okay. I will write my feelings. I am: MAD. Really mad at her right now.
I am: SAD. Really sad. Almost bipolar sad. And…disgusted. At her. At
her boyfriend. At my dad. At the unborn baby. I wish she would take in
account of my feelings. I am her daughter after all. But sometimes it
doesn’t feel like it. Honors
Language Arts About Me Page (draft) Name:
Libby Marionette Shalowski
Age:
Fifteen
Year
in school: Sophomore
Name
of school: Academy Christian for Intelligent Adolescents
Sex:
Female
Description:
Five feet with unruly auburn hair and blue eyes. And a big nose that
came unfortunately from my six foot seven father.
Parents—Mom:
Marionette Ellen Shalowski Job:
Used to be an award winning actress before she got depressed. Now she
works at the downtown hotel.
Father:
James Harry Neslein (gone).
Best
Friend: Used to be Lea Martina. Lea used to be my friend since we were
born but she unfriended me when she found out I had a crush on her
older brother and he kissed me. Not expressing details. Highly
confidential.
Pets:
None. Mom is allergic to animal fur. Or so she says.
Boyfriend:
Leonardo DiCaprio
Address:
Lived all of my fifteen years in Chicago,Illinois and will be moving to
the unbearably cold place called Alaska. Side note: (Have to try to get
Mom to move to Hawaii, where it is much warmer and still a state I like.
Hobbies:
Binge watching shows. Love looking at Lea’s brother who is now in
college. (Obviously Harvard).
Fav
food: Ice cream. And yes, Ice cream is a real food because you can live
off ice cream. I did it for a week. Don’t ask. Biggest
worry right now: I have to move to Alaska! I might as well put a HELP
ME sign saying I’m getting kidnapped against my will outside my bedroom
window.