Star Crossed Addison Daily   © Copyright 2024 by Addison Daily

Photo courtesy of the author.

I placed the roses and daisies you left me pressed between my favorite book given to me by you. To preserve them forever in my little box of collected moments, nestled between the little notes and letters you wrote to me; so I could gaze upon them always.

I had left before they’d finished drying. I didn’t plan to leave. But… I had too.

When I returned home after all my years away, they were still in my  book—brown, shriveled flowers, the faint scent of past love still lingering. Like a vanishing loveliness as tender as the flush of a rose leaf and as ethereal as the light of a solitary star. 

No one knew my secret hiding spot. Not even you. I placed it between the floorboards under my bed. It is still there. Still wrapped with the silk kerchief you paid with your two weeks savings. I remember how excited you were to give it to me,   bright eyes lingering on my face. A sense of boyhood escaped you as you tottered on the balls of your feet like you used to do when we were still innocent children. 

It’s still there, wrapped in all of the other remnants of love. Only I can tell they  once were a young sweethearts mogasy. 

I take the box out now. Brown with years of dust covering the top. I take off my kid gloves and my hat with the peacock feather on it. Do you remember how I used to pine for a feather on my hat all those years ago? It was the height of fashion then, but now I keep a feather on it to remind me.  

I bring the box outside where overhead the intense blue of the noonday sky burst like a jewel in the sun. It was peaceful as a village on Sunday. I walk to the bridge where we had once kissed, me leaning on your arm like a queen in a fable of old fairy tales. 

I lean on the side of the bridge, take a deep breath and I fling the box out into the deep icy waters below, watching it sink. Surprisingly, I feel a glacial pang of heart break like the stab of a dagger.

But…as my mother once said, “All that’s beautiful drifts away like the waters.”

You were always dear to me. My best friend. My first love. But you betrayed me. I must watch you go about your life with your wife and your children. 

I see you so clearly, holding your new baby. It’s a girl. As I listen to you I hear you say to the little thing, “You are my light, my life, my child.” And I weep. Weep for the things that could have been ours. The life we could have had. But it’s gone. Our love is gone. Now I feel in my heart what it feels like to be tortured. And as I walk up the steps to the grand house you’ve always wanted, I shake out my auburn curls, widen my green eyes, and tighten my bodice. I wipe away the tears and replace my hat back on my head, tilting it, showing humor I will have to try to muster for him. I bite my lips, making them bloom dark pink. I rap on the door. I hear footsteps and then you open the door. It’s you. My chest is pounding and I feel faint at the sight of your handsome face. I gaze into your face, wondering if you recognize me. Your blue eyes search my face in confusion. The baby’s on your hip and I can see the little thing suck her tiny thumb as she looks up at you with big baby blue eyes. I smile at you.

“Do I know you?” You ask me. I tilt my head.

“Why, I thought you would recognize me after all my years away, Willem.”

Your eyes widen and your wife saddles to the door. 

“Honey, who’s at the door?” She asks. I see her move closer to the door and then I see her full. I am shocked by what I see. She is petite and heavily round in the stomach, clearly with a child. Her hazel eyes fix on my face and I see her face harden. She recognizes me, and I recognize her. 

You betrayed me, sister. I gaze at you horrified. You married my younger sister who is six years younger than me. How could you? How could you marry my younger sister who is barely out of childhood? 

She twiddles her thumbs. She whispers to me, like a bell, “Melody?”

I smile hard. “Hello, dear sister.” You looked at me faintly and set down the baby. I can see the desire in your eyes and I smirk. My sister will never be enough for you. 

“Let me talk to Melody for a bit, sweetheart.” She just stands there, mouth in an open O. The baby toddles to her and she picks her baby up. Her face has gone white. You shut the door and grab my hand. Then we run into the privacy of the woods. The desire in your eyes is overwhelming. I see it. I see your hand reach to hug me. But I stop you. 

“Why?” You ask me.

“You have a wife and children.”

“I…don’t care.” I look at you deeply. Silence fills the tense air as I sigh.

“You do.” I say. Pain fills your eyes. I know I have to leave before even I can resist. 

“Melody.” You whisper.  I turn around. 
“The unborn baby’s name is Melody.” I smile melancholy. Then I reach up and kiss you on the cheek. 

“Goodbye, my friend.” My hand pulls away from your cheek. As I walk away I hear you say, “I will always love you, my light, my life, my Melody.”