|There I Stood On
The Edge Of Sanity
Steven B. Miller
© Copyright 2002 by Steven B. Miller
There I stood on the edge of sanity, Each day I struggled to focus, only to alienate myself from humanity.
Entangled in a web of lies and deceit, I managed to dig a hole so deep that not even I, the master of my destiny could not see the top.
I created a hell worse than any I've heard described, full of self loathing and loneliness, mingled with pity driven by a devil, enthralled in a legion of many.
It began in a burb outside of a city, at the wise old age of 16; Just a boy, with boyhood dreams, suddenly gone up in a pale wisp of seductive smoke.
I thought I could control any and everything, until on a hot summer day I learned what control is really all about through the end of a glass pipe.
I began my journey through this maze called life, seen through the eyes of a junkie; In a state where time becomes distorted, where the minutes seem like hours and days like months that blend like whiskey & water in a murky haze somewhere between night and day.
Lost in a dimension of paranoia and suspicion, unwilling or unable to accept help from anyone; Unwanted by society yet undaunted in the pursuit of something, deep down I knew I would never catch. Searching for that place where you feel safe in knowing that no one can reach you there in that facade of strength that has been imagined.
16 through 20 just years to most
people who haven’t heard my story; Age 16-20, the period in my life I call
the "The Wasted Years". I want everyone to hear my story and take heart,
because I tell this story not as Steven Brion Miller, but as Inmate #82985
resident of the Colorado Department Of Corrections. Life didn't end for
me in prison, It started again.
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