|Losing Your Cat After
© Copyright 2001 by Pam Potter
I stroke her tail before I wrap her in my shirt. It is the only part of her body that's not stiff and still feels like her.
My husband is outside trying to find a spot to bury her. We changed our minds three times before picking out a spot near her kittens that died in 1985. It was her only litter because we had her fixed right afterwards.
I called my mother long distant as we bury her and as I hang up I remember that I forgot to wish her a happy mothers day tomorrow.
My beloved pet was old. I know she is now back to her good health up in Heaven with all my beloved pets that have gone before her. I will see her one day in Heaven. All these things I tell myself, but the pit of my stomach still aches.
I think I heard her cry, then I think I am crazy. I step on the spot she died on to be close to her.
I look at her baby kitten pictures.
I can now eat my lunch and put my plate down on my lap without her thinking I am done and the plate is hers now. I eat while watching TV in the livingroom, or as I sit at the computor, only now she isn't there to get my plate . I miss that.
She isn't here to stick her head and body in the door of the Icebox, to see what I am getting out. She isn't here to meow, meow, for me to hurry up and get it ready so I can eat and then she can have what I saved for her. I miss that.
I miss her coming to me to get picked up and curl up in my lap, or laying under my feet at my computor desk.
My husband Billy, who always said ," Come get your baby, she's meowing for you", is now crying because she is gone. Then we both cry because she is gone.
Some people tell us to get another cat soon, others say wait awhile. I couldn't wait. We checked the newspaper ads and I called a lady who said she had four six-week old kittens to give away.
Will getting a new kitten make the hurt go away ? No. When I got Tracey I still loved Moe-Joe who died in 1983, and Illya Ray who died in 1977.
Illya Ray was my childhood cat. Illya Ray is the cat I model each cat to be like. Tracey came the closest.
What makes a cat special to me? A cat that will let me baby it. That's why I want another cat--so I can baby one again and make a new special friend.
A week later we found two tabby female kittens that were at the animal shelter about to be killed. The mother cat cried so much seeing her whole cat family die before her eyes that when they came upon the last kitten the vet stopped. A woman there took the kitten and the mother cat home. We have the last two kittens from another cat family. We named them Jessie and Frankie. Jessie is into everything and meows all the time. She jumps on anything high. She even jumped upon the door ledge. Frankie is a calico tabby. She is quiet and very gentle.
I hope I'm lucky enough to have these kittens for seventeen years!
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