I Want To Be A Scientist

 

Kristen Kay Mohammed

  

Copyright 2018 by Kristen Kay Mohammed

  
 

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This is a true story, my story about a young sun-kissed girl in a small island in a small part of the world that was told she couldn't attain her dreams. It is a story of hope, belief in oneself and breaking barriers. Hope you enjoy.

 “Many a man would come who would easily dispel your beliefs, laugh and say it cannot be done. Look upon such a man with pity, for he knows not the power that exists within him. Never let a man tell you it cannot be done, never let a man drown your beliefs. You are your own person, you harness great power within you and if you believe you can conquer the world, you can and you will conquer not the world but the entire universe.”

Belief in oneself is the greatest weapon upon this battlefield known as life. Each and everyday obstacles and problems would present themselves, I write this as an absolute. It is thus, of great pertinence that one also understands that one can emerge the victor of such battles, obstacles and difficulties by harnessing the weapon of belief.

Belief in yourself and your untapped capacity to overcome.

I can, I will, I am, I believe, “This personal mantra should resonate throughout your being always because within you, there is so much power and untapped potential. You can achieve anything you put your mind to. No mountain would ever be too high, no river too deep, no dream too farfetched.

I want to be a Scientist, when I grow up!” I exclaimed to my small group of sun kissed friends as we sat under the large moss covered bough of the large mango tree. It was a hot, humid summer afternoon of 1998 on our small tropical home of …. Trinidad.

We loved to gather here and have our little talks about everything in the world that our eight-year-old brains thought wondrous and majestic.

I think back to those times, close my eyes and still feel the warmth of the moment the light country wind caressing my sun kissed face. I but for a moment relish in how fortunate I feel to have these beautiful pockets of childhood memories imprinted in my heart forever.

I still remember how engulfed they were in what I was saying. Their round faces and huge brown eyes were glued to me as I sauntered back and forth upon my mango tree throne where I recanted everything about this Scientist I so desperately wanted to become.

I would shower every Saturday afternoon, put on my best blue dress and skip over to my neighbor’s house to look at his television set. There precisely at 2pm, we would sit and enjoy this TV Series about a Scientist finding cures for the world. It was the most exhilarating experience and I was in absolute awe. My heart beat would reverberate loudly inside my tiny chest as I skipped excitedly across the street.

Mr. Telexing was the shop keeper in our small village, and the only person who owned a television set, a colored television set. And I was the lucky girl next door that got to look at his colored television set every Saturday.

I can’t exactly remember the name of the television series but I would forever remember how exceptionally excited I felt sitting on my little wooden crate in front of the television surrounded by the others. Some people were on the floor some on wooden crates like my own. Only Mr. Telexing had a chair, a huge chair with large blue fluffy cushions.

I never did sit on that chair but every time I saw it, for a brief second I wondered what it must feel like, how soft, how comfortable and how warm. However, my wooden crate was suffice, after all I would become so absorbed by my Scientist movie that I would forget how much my little but hurt on that wooden crate.

All the kids that day was sitting totally absorbed by what I was saying, a pin could drop under the huge mango tree and everyone there would hear it. They were engrappled by the story of this Scientist in this futuristic laboratory, mixing together these colorful rare substances that could ultimately save the world.

I had become the great Storyteller.

I had become the great Dreamer.

Because to a small group of sun kissed kids, in a small remote village with one television set, in a small tropical island, in a small part of the world, my dream of becoming a Scientist, was just that …a dream. A farfetched, exhilarating almost comical dream.

To me, it was a dream that I was determined at eight years old to become my reality. Even at that young tender age I knew that I wanted more for myself, I wanted to be more, I wanted my own television set and I wanted my own huge fluffy cushioned chair.

I loved my life, I loved all the people in it, I loved the way I was raised because it made me into the person I am today. I love my small village, in my small tropical island, in my small part of the world. But I knew in my small heart that there was much more out there. I wanted to see and experience it all. I wanted to become a famous Scientist and travel the world marveling at everything it had to offer. I was the great story teller.

I remember thinking I would go out into this huge vast world that I had only read about in books and saw on Mr. Telexing’s TV set, and I would come back and tell all my friends. I would bring them back tokens from every part of the world I had touched. Oh how my dreams were so much bigger than their little minds could conceive. They never fully understood my desire to leave our little comfortable home, after all it was all we ever knew, it was all some of them would ever know and this was the stalk reality of our existence.

But wanting something and believing you can accomplish something is two completely different things.

I wanted to become a Scientist. Did I truly believe I could accomplish this dream, no I really didn’t? I was just a small brown girl, in a small remote village, on a small tropical island in a small part of my world. How could I? Most people in my village never even got to see the walls of the University. Why was I any different? But my heart refused to let my farfetched dream die. Thoughts of me becoming a Scientist filled my thoughts every moment of every day. A fire was ignited within me , an idea, a dream, a desire and all the doubts in the world could not extinguish the fire that had started within me.

I looked around at my room that day and I remembered making a mental inventory as I surveyed the room. I had one pair of shoes, one small green uniform firmly pressed, one pretty blue dress sent from my aunt in Florida and one bed which I shared with my three other siblings. I had so many books though, so many words, so many stories, so many escapes and I smiled, I was filled with happiness because I loved my books. I loved the smell of books, the feel of the pages against my fingers, the many adventures they would take me on and the countless characters of great interest that I met. My mom always said that the most wondrous of adventures took place within the pages of a good book and so she flooded my life with books and stories and adventures. My mother, my hero, my creator.

Mom the kids at school laugh at me, calling me names like crazy crabby Scientist!” I wept as I climbed onto her lap and snuggled my head into her bosom. “Why are they laughing at you sweetie?” she asked with a gentle smile. “Because I want to be a Scientist, and they say that I cannot.” I replied tears falling in endless torrents down my face. “Well what do you need to become a Scientist?” she asked. “Well I would have to go to the University and I cannot because we don’t have the money!” I literally collapsed in her chest crying, my dreams dying with every spoken word.

She looked at me with a mixture of feelings on her face, I sensed sadness, shock and worry, and it hurt like hell to know, that what I had said so freely had made her feel this way. I felt even worse in this moment, guilt now wrenching at my insides. I cried even more as I hugged her tightly. Mom smiled at me and wiped away those tears, she chuckled even, “I think that Scientists are incredibly smart people, so I think that you simply need to study exceptionally hard at school.” She said. I looked at her and listened intently as if my life depended on it. “You have to excel in all your subject areas, work as hard as you can each and every day, you also need to go wash your face and wash away those tears.” She said as she kissed my forehead the same way she does to this very day. She held my shoulders firmly and looked me straight in the eye, “You do your part and study as hard as you can at school, and your dad and I would make sure your get to that University.” I considered her eyes that day and I saw the fiery passion of a determined lioness, and in that moment, my want to become a Scientist became my belief that I can achieve my dreams and become a Scientist.

I dismounted her and hurried to get my bucket, to head over to the stand pipe to take my bath. I turned midway, she was still looking at me lovingly. I smiled and I said,” Mom I also need a white coat with my name printed on it.” She laughed heartedly and hurried me along.

I was the happiest kid in the world as I stood at the standpipe with my bucket and cup while taking my bath. I just had to study super hard in school and my mom, worker of miracles would ensure that I got to the famous University. I believed her with every fiber of my being because never in my life to this very day she has never disappointed me or let me down. She was my personal miracle worker and I loved her, I loved every single part of her.

The next day I scrambled into the house from school gave my mom a huge hug and headed into my bedroom. As soon as I walked in, there it was, sitting on the little chair in front of me. I could not believe my eyes, slowly I reached out my hands to touch the ethereal crispy white fabric before me. I was in so much wondrous amazement I couldn’t speak, everything around me stood silent as I slipped my little body into the small crisp white lab coat that waited there for me. I climbed up onto my small metal biscuit pan to see myself better in the small cracked mirror. I looked at myself in my little white lab coat and a sense of pride and happiness permeated my entire being. There was even my name “Kristen Kay “embroidered into the right pocket. “Fit well?” came my mom’s voice from the door as she leaned on the wall looking at me. “Mom I love it so much,” I ran to her and hugged her so tightly. This solidified my belief in myself that I would become a Scientist. My mom believed in me and I believed in me and nothing was going to stop me. Mom said, for as long as my little coat would fit me I would sit in my coat and study at my small wooden table. Her heart would brim with love and pride. Her little angel. Her little Scientist.

The next sixteen years I worked tirelessly in school. I worked multiple jobs while studying full time at the University. My parents worked tirelessly to support my dreams and ambitions. We kept our deal I has to study as hard as possible and produce good grades and they worked voraciously to provide my University tuition.

There were times when we had no food or even toilet paper in our house, but I had my tuition for that semester and that’s all that mattered. We worked tirelessly together on my dreams which eventually became their dreams. Everything that I am today I owe to God and my parents. As long as I live I may never be able to repay the great things they have done for me.

Today, at twenty-six, I hold my Bachelor of Science Degree, my Masters of Science Degree and presently considering pursuing my Doctorate in Philosophy.

I did become a Microbiologist and I presently work for a Biotechnology Company in Florida. I love my job; my dreams did come true despite all my doubts and all those voices that said I could not do it. I accomplished my dreams despite the many obstacles and I’m here today to say so can you. Rise up and grasp the many opportunities this world has to offer, rise up and fight for the life that you deserve. Become more than you are in this very moment. It is the most fulfilling feeling in the world.

The more I accomplish in this life, the more I realize I’m not just doing this for myself and my own selfish success, but rather for all those that stand behind me, I do it for my parents who never had the opportunity to have tertiary education themselves, I do this for my siblings who look up to me their eldest sister with pride and I do this for all those tiny sun kissed children of my small tropical island of Trinidad last but not least I do this for all those young people in the world who were told they could not, told they were not good enough , I am here today to say you can and you will.

Don’t ever let someone tell you it cannot be done. I’m living breathing proof that when you believe in yourself you can accomplish every dream, every desire, and every feat.


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