The Black Sheep of the Family Walks Away
© Copyright 2022 by Kelly Maida
Photo of the author.
The black sheep of the family! Iím back and I have something to say.
day I woke up. And something felt wrong. Everyone at once was gone.
But I should of known better. They were all fair weathered. The way
they all pointed their fingers at me. Because I am the black sheep of
the family. Beaten into submission when I was kid, Family members
never even said sorry for the things they did. But shhh we are not
supposed to talk about that. Pretending they changed. But what is up
with that? Every time I try to talk about something even if it was
yesterday, they say we are not supposed to talk about the past. That
is all they have to say as they turn and walk the other way. Over the
years I tried several times to talk to them and when I asked what was
wrong? Everyone sang the same song. It is like they all rehearsed
this. And they tried to reverse this. Pointing the fingers at me.
Acting like they had the right. To act anyway that they want. I went
around them in the past even when I didnít want too. Being
around them would literally give me panic attacks because some of
them always yelled and screamed but this is all they know but for
everyone else they put on this show. But just ask the neighbors they
call one of them the devil because they hear it all. So, they all
started fishing for excuses. Casting out a web. And in it was double
standards. Over the summer when I was sick and I was supposed to get
surgery. A so-called family member was going to give me a ride. But
then they decided to hide. And then uninvited me from things. Saying
weird and strange things. Ignoring me and saying hey, remember that
day that you didnít show up to that one even? Now we are all
mad at you. But other family members didnít go. I am held to
greater expectations. Why is that? Just stay mad and draw your lines
in the sand. And please donít try to come back. Just remember
how you all turned your backs. Because I will always remember that.
Not just once but over and over for my whole life. I feel like I
always have to defend myself. And always trying to set the record
straight. Just letting it be known that No-one was there for me when
I was down. So do not try to come back into my life now that things
are starting to turn around. I am tired of being told how to feel and
what to say. Oh, look at her! Why is she acting that way?
Always being told how to act. Because I am always under