Just A Dream
© Copyright 2018 by Eman Khalid
You and I,
and danced perfectly to the rhythm of your favorite song.
I tilted my head slightly
giving you the permission to kiss me,
as you came closer,
my breath quickened.
I woke up.
It was a dream,
say that as the
time passes by, things change and feelings change. But I say that's
the biggest lie ever told. It's been eight years. But I still
remember that day perfectly. It was mid-December when I spoke with
you for the first time. On the other days, I'd just gaze at you from
across the street or from my bedroom window. You moved next to my
house when I was ten years old. But I never got the courage to talk
to you. Because when I stared into your chocolate brown eyes, my
heartbeat fastened and my knees got weak. I wasn't actually the kind
of girl anyone would want to date or hang out with. I've always been
insecure about the way I looked. Messy brown curls and freckles,
that's who I was. I always thought I was unappealing until the day
you told me that I wasn't.
"You look beautiful Meg!" You said. I blushed and looked down at my twirled fingers.
was the Christmas
Eve party. Trust me when I tell you this, I dressed up extra nice
that day because I knew that you were going to be there. I saw your
name on the invitation list. I wore a red lace dress and applied a
dark shade of red lipstick, which by fact was the first time I wore
the darkest shade of lipstick. After the day you told me that I
looked beautiful, I always wore dark shades of lipsticks.
after winter break, it was the beginning of a new year. As I walked
past the school corridor I noticed you standing in the corner with
your group of friends, laughing at something you thought was funny.
Your laughter was like music to my ears. But you didn't notice me
walking past you. I stood at my locker a bit longer just to hear the
sound of your laughter.
was a chemistry
class and I sat on one of the benches in the corners and solved away
some complex equations. I was a top student by the way. But you were
the complete opposite of who I was.
I was shy, quiet and soft-spoken.
You were ruthless,
rebellious and a social freak.
I was a loner
You had football guys
and hot girls roaming around you 24/7.
I loved reading books.
You loved making out
with random cheerleaders in your car.
We were the exact opposites of each other.
But as the saying goes,
and even physics proves that.
that's why you
asked me to go to prom with you at the end of senior year. You said
that I wasn't like the other girls, you said that I was different.
You said that I had a cute smile and a shy aura. You found me
was prom day. I woke
up early morning to get ready. My family wasn't rich so I couldn't
get my hair and makeup done professionally. I worked part-time at a
retail store to collect money for my prom dress. It was a cream
colored gown and it had the white lace design on it. I decided to do
soft curls on my long brown hair. When I got ready, I looked in the
mirror and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. First of
all, because you chose me as your prom date. The boy I've had a crush
on since elementary school. The boy whose eyes I could write a
thousand page poetry on describing their depth and beauty. I decided,
tonight I was going to tell you how I felt about you. I didn't care
what you would think or say about me. I was going to tell you how you
made my heart race and whenever you approached me, I would feel like
I am floating on the seventh sky. I would tell you tonight, how I
wished upon a star once for you to call me "my girl". I
will tell you everything.
my dream, my wish,
my muse and my poetry. You are my person and you don't even know that
It was almost 7 pm but you still didn't show up at my front door to pick me up, which you promised you would. I waited and waited. Hours had gone by. I called you, but you didn't pick up. I texted you, but no reply. I went to the school. Thought I'd find you there. Well, I did find you there but in the arms of another girl. As usual, you did not notice me standing there. I wore the lipstick shade you find beautiful. How could you not notice me? I looked beautiful but the girl you held in your strong arms was more beautiful. She had long blonde hair. She wore a velvet colored dress that showed off her long legs. She was everything that I wasn't.
it, I couldn't
stand there any longer. As I came out of the school, the cool wind
hit my face and I breathed heavily, taking in the smell of the fresh
air of spring mixed with a little summer. I walked. I did not know
where I was headed to, but I just kept walking on an endless road. I
don't know how much time had gone by but I spotted the
lights from far away. The Ferris wheel's light shone from above the
I sat on one of the booths on the Ferris wheel. When it reached high above the sky, I could see the whole town from up here. Everything seemed so small and pointless. The houses, the skyscrapers, the carnival lights and my school. I imagined thousands of fireflies flying together on an endless journey. Somewhere, you were down there, kissing someone who's not me. You will probably be the prom king and she will be the queen. Both of you are perfect for each other. But deep down, I wished that I was her. I envied her.
another universe we are madly in love with each other and laughing at
the fact that somewhere in another universe we aren't together.
Perhaps in another life, God would make me yours and make you mine.
So I wouldn't have to bear the pain of loving you from afar. Watching
you kiss her, hold her and do all the things I wish you'd do with
been eight years
today. I am sitting at the same Ferris wheel and watching the lit up
town from underneath me. Until today I never understood why you lied
to me. I never understood why you didn't call me back or replied to
my texts. I've been with a lot of boys after I graduated high school.
But none of them made me feel the way you did. None of them made my
heart race the way you did. But most of all, I couldn't love anyone
the way I loved you. It is okay you know? the lies you've told me. I
forgave you even though you never asked for my apology. You never got
to know how I felt about you. One day, you might realize what you did
to me was wrong. I hope that you wonder why every girl you meet won't
look at you the way I did. I hope, you wonder why she never laughs at
any of your jokes, when I was the one laughing at your most
horrendous jokes. I hope you wonder why you lied to me on the day
that was supposed to be memorable for every high school student. I
hope you realize one day, that you broke my heart in a million pieces
and nothing can fix it. I am in so much pain, but I learned to live
with it. I hope you wonder, why you chose her instead of me. I hope
that you try to find me in every woman you meet. But I swear to god,
you will never find me.